The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The reading for Monday, 7/20, says the following: Wanting to know why the alcoholic drinks or, when sober, why he does what he does is an itch for which there is no scratch. The reading goes on to say that some of us will never get over trying to figure this out. Instead of becoming frustrated, the writer suggests we just accept this as an impossible task, and also unimportant. What we should do instead, is figure out what we are doing that complicates our life. If we can figure that out, and try and change what we can, many of our troubles will vanish.
^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^
This reading is telling us to keep the focus on ourselves and let go and let God. I enjoyed the humor of the writer while giving us such an important message. I tried for many years, in vain of course, to figure out the logic in the drinking and the behavior. And of course it did just leave me frustrated, angry, exhausted, etc. And I did not find it to be easy, to take the focus off my A and really look at myself. After awhile though, it became easier to stop the negative behaviors of mine, and change my attitude to a more positive and helpful focus. Thats what program is all about.
Thank you Lyne for your service, and a good Monday morning to ya!!
I tend to have an I agree/disagree with this reader's viewpoint... and b/c it is Al-Anon, that's allowed! LOL!
They are correct in the fact that you will never understand their particular brand of Krazy. Logic will never apply. And b/c those that are unaffected are well, unaffected... we cannot truly "walk a mile in their shoes." What they do is unfathomable to us -- we live in the world of logic; they do not -- and becomes our own brand of Krazy!
But I do believe that once I embraced the Three C's (Not the Cause, Can't Control, and Can't Cure), I needed to understand the disease of addiction in medical terms. Because in doing that, I was able to make more informed choices for MYSELF based off of that knowledge. And knowledge is power!
My 2 cents, take it or leave it!
Thank you HP, for allowing me to wake up pain free, Covid-19 free, and able to enjoy one more day on this Earth! &
__________________
"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Lyne, This is a great topic -- thank you for your service!
For me, the important thing is my motivation. If I am trying to understand why the alcoholic drinks or acts in a certain way so that I can control him -- make him stop -- then that is fruitless. But if it is to gain understanding so I can be more compassionate, then I think that fits with Al-Anon principles, and in fact it has helped my recovery tremendously.
Like PnP, I found learning the medical facts about alcoholism really eye-opening and helpful. I agree with keeping this medical/scientific stuff out of Al-Anon meetings, though, because it could be a rabbit hole that distracts us from focusing on ourselves -- just like we don't talk about specific religions. I keep it for individual one-on-one conversations.
Happy Monday MIP family! Thank you Lyne for the daily and your service. Thank you all for your ESH and shares. When I look back at the many hours, days, weeks, months I wasted trying to figure out what another was thinking it really, really makes me sad. At the time, it seemed really 'normal'; as of now, not so much.
What I have come to realize, accept and embrace is no matter how much I know another person, I don't know their HP/life strategy. I have been so, so wrong about so many projected outcomes in the past I clearly today step away from assuming and projecting as fast as I can/realize it. I am far from perfect on letting go and letting God, but I am better than before!
Facts do matter to me and my mind! I too enjoy doing research about topics, issues, etc. Today, my motives are vastly different - I do this with the intent to expand my knowledge whereas before, I did it more often to justify my position/thinking. I do enjoy learning and when I have an open mind, I expand my 'seeking to understand' others.
I did not like being told that I must accept all things, even if I don't like them, when I arrived. I was so used to fighting everything and everyone. Today, not so much. I truly prefer being happy vs. being right. I do trust that God has a master plan and I am just another cog in the wheel - no more/no less important than every other person I share this earth with. I'm grateful to have a different perspective today - keeps me saner and more humble.
Golf was rained out so I am adulting today! Find and keep your joy all - (((Hugs))).
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
& 