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I'm at work for the good boss yesetrday and he said he wanted to give me as much work as he could, considering the covid, impacting HIS business, etc., and anyway, while we were chatting Liz, the off. mgr at the A-hole's place texted...."omg rosie, he is being so rude to me, I legit wanted to walk out"
I called her when I knew she was home and OMG, what a A**hole he was to her AND to Jaimie...I mean hes got THEM doing MY P/L "clean up on the medicare breakdown for empees vs clerical" NOBODY splits hairs like that....so here these kids are trying to figure out WHAT the hell to do, when I'm supposed to come in on Tuesday and he can't wait??? then hes on Liz about the stupedist things....
He is rude, abusive and just toxic!!!
I told her about how I had to chase him and ask him several times to sign my check so I could leave...she told me she heard that and was sickened....so was Jaimie, they both could not believe he could humiliate me like that
SO..here is what I am gonna do...Liz is going to get him, Monday night to sign TWO checks....one for me and one for another vendor and she is going to tell me what he does...if that check is not signed, then I am going to send him email and quit
I am quitting anyway, but this will speed it up here is what I plan to write to him: feed back would be appreciated
*****************************************
Dear John:
After what happened the previous Tuesday (your outburst at me about wanting you to sign my check) and this past Tuesday with my check, where I had to chase you down and practically beg you to sign the check at end of day so I could go home.
I have decided this is not healthy for me and it is in my best interest to leave and leave immediately.
I am not used to nor am I comfortable with working for someone who treats me with the disrespect that you have done.
Sincerely,
Rosie
************************ I know I am gone by end of July, but if he refuses to sign my check for Liz on Mon. night, before I come in on Tues?? I am OUTTA there like immediately ...I'll send off this "dear john" email and not even show up on Tuesday....what for??? the stress is awful, working for him
Rose what I do is go quiet and then go to HP and say, "Place me where you want me....tell me what to do" and then I go quiet and listen. Often during the quiet period HP shows up with solutions that I can use or not. Good Luc sister. ((((hugs))))
Rose, it sounds like you have a good plan. The only thing I can share is that recently, when I decided to resign from something, I kept the message very simply to "I've thought about it, and now is the time for me to resign." I originally had planned to say more, but after talking it over with a sponsor, I realized this was all I needed to say.
Mine was a volunteer position, but since yours is a paying job, and you don't trust this employer, it seems you'd want to make sure you have been paid for all your work before sending in your resignation.
I.dont resign from a job until I get another job. I do not bother to tell them the reason I am leaving
I would have to get the extra work in habd before I left. I.have not really met a boss who cared about what was healthy for me
I.dont burn the bridge until I have something else for certain. Even then i wouldnt burn any bridge
Maresie
Hugs Rosie, I tend to agree with go to a temp agency get some interviews and have something lined up. Sounds like you need to anyways .. i try not to leave any income without having other income going to be incoming. It's very scary not to have something and given the climate right now I would feel better knowing there was something coming.
Working in that kind of environment is hard. You don't "owe" an expounding a reason why you are leaving .. it's just not working out. That's a completely fine answer to give. I try not to make my leaving personal. It's my business .. it's about me regardless how bad the place is.
Hugs S :)
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Faith minus vulnerability and mystery equals extremism. If you've got all the answers, then don't call what you do "faith". - Brene Brown
"Whatever truth you own doesn't own you" - Gary John Bishop
Rose - so, so sorry that you feel you must leave a job. When I am faced with difficult people, difficult situations, etc. I lean right back into recovery. I am a big believer in JADE, checking my motives and saying what I mean, meaning what I say but not saying it mean. I really, really try to be my authentic self and not respond in kind to others. I wish you well in your efforts and search!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Rosie, tough spot. I think you handled it perfectly. How he deals with you is what counts. Obviously it's how he deals with others. It is reflective of who he is.
Telling him specifically why you are leaving vis a vis the label or accusation -- that's up to you. I keep it in the "I" -- and I don't say "you" are, "you" did, or "you" said. I keep it in the "I" and that way I am staying on my side of the street. Even the check incidents can be more generic so to speak. I don't need to be right. I want to be happy. LOL.
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Bo
Keep coming back...
God, grant me the serenity...to accept the PEOPLE I cannot change...the courage to change the ONE I can...and the wisdom to know it's ME...
Thanks everyone!!! I would LOVE to have another income lined up and I'm trying...I think what made me decide to go, even w/out a replacement is I have GAD and PTSD and last Tuesday, I was literally NUMB from the stress...I could not feel my feet...breathing, when I got home and I went to bed...slept all that rest of the evening, into the next day till about 2pm...like 6pm to 2pm the next DAY.....I can't do stress AND I am still on unemployment, thank God, otherwise I would have to just get sick...but thankfully I get UI after I turn in what I made, I get the difference...
I prayed, waited, this is a PATTERN with him...and its getting worse, not better....it usually is the way with me...I have to leave to keep my health and HP makes me wait for replacement....I am in my 70's now and I just cannot do this...I love your responses, and yea, I think i will "make it briefer" just say that I have decided to leave/resign (so far I am paid up but not w/out having to beg him for my check) anyway, I think I'll just say, that this is not healthy for me, remaining in this job and I am leaving or words to that affect....
he has started abusive behavior before adn its escalating....now hes picking on the off. mgr, too, so this is definitely a pattern....UI will last through the year and hopefully things will pick up....I am getting sick from this stress.....I tried to hang on, tried to find replacement with no luck, meantime I am getting sicker...so its like what do I choose??? I am so done with being financially needing to stay in abuse and it ends up the same way....i break down and get so sick from the PTSD I can't move for several days.....
Freetime...I like what you said.....short...simple.....I'm gone...WHAT would I do w/out my program family??? I re-read my sample...too long...keep it simple.....
Jerry, dear brother...I did get quiet during my crash...slept and breathed and just ASKED my HP within me...What is the RIGHT thing for me to do...When I made the decision to 'walk", I felt a sense of peace...yea, unemployment gave me some courage, but I am just going to have to AGAIN, trust that by then, when it runs out, I'll be OK
Mariesie, I would RATHER have a new job lined up, but my health is at risk...I do agree..don't burn bridges, but I cannot face this abuse anymore...he wants me to "beg" for my check and then insults the hell out of me....and that is only the part of his abusive treatment....I think I am gonna rewrite the email where I just say, I wish him well, but this job is not a fit for me...or something REAL brief and yea, he can't respect me enough to treat me like a human, he isn't goingt o care what is healthy....so yea....brief and just basically say, that after lots of thought, I am leaving as this is not a fit for me...i'll think of something real short, NON confrontational, just real generic, but get the point in that I am leaving, this job is not a fit for me
Serenity, hey lady!!! thanks for your ESH, and YEP, you are spot on....keep it NON personal, and brief....wish I COULD find a replacement, but my health is beginning to really suffer and if I break down and get sick again due to stress overload, I won't be able to do anything....I am going to net work me at my church and other places...got some savings...just will have to trust...Things never go really easy for me...I have to jump off the cliff FIRST, before the trampolene is set up under me....I guess I am getting challenged to trust and its hard and unfair, but it is what it is......
Iamhere...thanks for your ESH, I agree...not JADE..and My "sample" does that....and I don't need to....gonna rewrite my "so long" note and just say that this is not working out...I'm going to re-read all of you and construct something that is short, not unkind, to the point...program oriented and that is that........
I am so glad I shared this as I see my "sample" is a JADE and its personal and referring to my health........SO glad I showed you all my sample....I see big time revision.....and yea, keep networking me so when UI does end, i'll be OK....just gonna have to step 3 the "replacing" him thingy....the bottom line...this stress is making me sick....Time to go...And yep...keep it NON personal and NO "JADE'ing" anything.....I like the I am leaving because this position is not working out and just basically keep it simple...
((((((((((((((((((((((((((love ya'll)))))))))))))))))))))) and thanks again for your great ESH....everyone of you had some great stuff for me to pray about and yea, my sample is NOT program oriented.....gonna do a better, shorter, impersonal one on Mon. night, I guess.....
I had to laugh...off. mgr is gonna try to get him to sign a check for me MONDAY night as I work Tuesdays and another vendor and see what he does, LOL....hes abusing her to the point where she is crying and texting me for comfort and I call her at night (she is due next month with her 2nd baby) and anyway, I try to comfort her and tell her that we ALL need to leave there
what is really odd, here I have NO replacement and because I made the decision to leave and do it QUICKLY, I feel more peace...I don't "dread" Tuesdays....I am doing a bit of work on Fridays so that will keep me going...I have a good reputation so I should find a replacement before UI runs out....and I have been stashing away $$ in the event of bad times coming, so I CAN be ok for a while....
HUGS to all of you
-- Edited by mamalioness on Saturday 18th of July 2020 10:30:28 PM
I know you are on unemployment but the stimulus payment is over this month
I have money.in the bank and I still do not leave one job till I get another one
Regarding the stress. Are these other people leaving: I think not
That is the norm in offices. I.have certainly been around the block on getting paid
The issue is triggers and managing them
The issue with those of us with post traumatic stress disorder is that it keeos us in bare survival mode. That in itself is a trigger
Certainly I have had olenty of people say they were going to give me work
Right now I would rather work nights but the constriction noise around my.aoartment is too much i have no.control over that one. I have control of my.goals. Right now my goals are to move to another level. That means going further than #survival#
Managung my triggers is huge for me. Having an income that I.can count on is not something I.made a priority of in the past
My triggers ruled rather than my managing my triggers. I had no idea how to.
Maresie
Maresie, I hear you and I get what you are saying, but...if I have another breakdown due to the PTSD, I may not bounce back..I'm 74...too old for this....I have biological damage as well as the mental....If I don't get out, I will keep getting sicker and believe you me, I work the hell out of my program, but the bottom line is, in the past, I stayed in abusive situations out of financial fear...i let my financial fear rule my life....now?? yea, I am afraid, but I am just going to have to trust that HP will put someone in my path before UI runs out....AND state will pick up and go till the end of the year, even if it did not..I am not young anymore...more fragile, tired, worn out from life...I'm tired!!!
it is a situation of what is more important???? my sanity??? or making money from someone who is slowly tearing me down....that money is NOT going to do me any good if I have another breakdown and end up, MAYBE hospitalized....IF there is a God and I believe there is, I will just have to trust that he will put another person in front of me at the right time....I am EIGHT times more likely to get cancer due to the nerve damage....I am tired of being sick...I want my peace and my serenity.....I thought long and hard about this and my friend, even, said that this is tearing me down....I just can't do it anymore....and here I am: JADE'ing when I don't have to
I gotta do what is best for me...and believe me...I prayed a lot about this and meditated on it and all the arrows point to getting the hell out of there while I am still able to function.....
-- Edited by mamalioness on Saturday 18th of July 2020 11:30:24 PM
dunno what happened, it did not take, but this is new email sample
Dear John
I am leaving my position as company controller because this job is just not working out for me
I wish you well in your future endeavors
Sincerely,
Rosie
************************************
no JADE...no personal.....I reeeeeely am glad I showed the original to you all.....it was not program oriented and it was JADE'ing and it was personal, the above releases me and without rancor or being personal, using I/me statements.....Thanks again, you all
Yea, in a perfect world, yea, I would have scored upon another client by now, but I have not and I am getting sicker and more tired...I'm not in my 60's and 50's anymore where I was more resiliant...I am in my early 70's and I am tired...worn out....can't do the stress thing...slowly I am detoxing my life of people and things that pull me down.....I just am not strong and resilient anymore...I have to accept that...Life has pained me out, like an older racehorse, I am needing to be out to pasture....even if I have to take a paycut, I will find something, happier and easier and whatever, i KNOW my HP does not want me to be in an escalating abusive situation...not at my age .......THAT much I do know....
I am going to start the sentence, "Effective immediately" and Monday night if he refuses to sign my check for Tuesday, I will send Monday night....I am gonna "get quiet" like Jerry said and make SURE, HP is prompting me to go, as when i made the decision to move on, this is NOT going to change, this is a PATTERN of abusive behavior and its worsening, I did feel peace...I have TIME to find someone else...yea, the climate is "dicey" at best, but my whole LIFE has been dicey and I seem to manage to come out the other side....My health is suffering and I need ME more then I need the $$ I would make working for him at my lowest rate, by the way...I cannot believe that any loving HP would want to see me "go downhill" due to stress overload..Then I am useless to me, to anyone else who may want my services and will treat me better...I do have dribs and drabs of work, UI and also what I have managed to save....I just need to trust that I will be OK
You guys ALL gave me great ESH and trust me, I RE-read every response and thought to myself "yep...spot on.....yep, she/he is right" I don't know everything and I don't think I'll ever completely recover from the devastating past I had, so I need my program, and I am not embarrassed to say, "feedback" wanted because I DONT know everything.....
I am very grateful to be a member of this board and I am sad that this job did not work out, and wish I had an immediate replacement, but I do not...IF my immune system keeps being compromised by this stress, and at my age, I am also putting myself at risk for the virus....he is NOT taking measures to protect high risk folks like me who are older AND I have asthma, mild because I eat so clean and take care of me, but I notice the stress is causing me to "wheeze" some more...(I tried to talk to him about basic hygeine for the office and he blew me off and was rude about it) ...he is exposing us ALL to the virus, letting walk ins come in and use the restroom, he fails to provide us with fresh, clean water to drink, so if you run out of your own water, he SAID "drink out of the shop fountain" oh yea, EVERYONE drinks out of that fountain......so yea, I am at high risk and he is not even trying to protect us workers by letting US keep the place clean and safe.....
Rosie, you are spot on in your awareness and your communication. I always feel that keeping it in the "I" helps me. It's not about the other person, but about who I am being.
I feel, this is a trigger for me, I felt, I see, and so on. Maybe it's me, but I don't want some open-ended comment that allows the door of a back and forth to open. It's not a discussion, right? It's an informative communication, unilateral. Heck...it's a resignation letter!!! LOL. Great job Rosie.
__________________
Bo
Keep coming back...
God, grant me the serenity...to accept the PEOPLE I cannot change...the courage to change the ONE I can...and the wisdom to know it's ME...
I aroppee talking to my former bosses before I left veyond what I had to say
Not engaging is really hard because bullies want you to engage.
When i left one job last year over the fact they did not oay me sure enough they did not oay me till 3 weeks later. I had to taje money out of my savings iver the cash flow imolications of that job
I gave them the bottom line they had to pay me. They still did not oay me on time. One year later Inresolved that situation. One year. Even then the check was late because of the pandemic
Every day I deal with some kind of double bind. They no longer stop.me in my tracks.
Saying no is a hard one. There are many different ways to say #no#
Maresie
Rose - I am sorry I am late to this party, but it looks like everyone had your back, and you made good adjustments to your resignation letter.
My father gave me really good advice early on in my working career. He told me, "No matter how horrible the working situation, try not to burn bridges. It would definitely feel good to get everything off your chest, but you just never know where your next job's recommendation will come from. Let the narrative be about your fantastic work, not your parting words."
I have used that advice all my adult life. Your retooling of your letter is spot on. Clear (effective immediately), to the point, and without the emotional tone of the first one. I am sure that he wouldn't see his faults anyway!
I am hoping the jerk signs your check... if you were a "regular" employee, his actions would be illegal. But since you are an independent contractor (I think?), many times they abuse that title by doing things like this (I've been in this spot too... it sucks). Good luck Monday, Rose!
BTW - Yes, at 74 years young, you have to take your health (both physical and mental) into account... especially now.
&
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Love the re-write Rose! So, am I the only one who got a chuckle out of the 'Dear John' portion? I wish you the best with your delivery as well as your continued job search...you got this, I have full faith in that!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
hey everyone, (((((((((((((((((BIG HUGS)))))))))))))))))) to all you great people........concerned?? yep, sure am, but I know my HP does NOT want me getting sick and more worn out then I already am, LOL working for this "turd" of a person....and yea, my "dear John" letter, LOL...Glad you got a chuckle, Iamhere......I kinda smiled as I wrote it.......and as far as my check is concerned...my friend and off. mgr. is gonna try to get him to sign a check monday night for TUESDAY...so I AM paid up....but you know?? thinking and getting quiet, I feel concern as job mkt is dry as can be, but what good is the $$ i make from him if I have a stress breakdown or a heart attack and have to be hospitalized??? this is a big step 3 issue...and I think keeping it short and sweet is the best...my latest sample is the one that is gonna be sent.....easy...short....focus on me....
and Maresie, I DID try to talk to him BEFORE this decision 2 weeks ago , I think or maybe more because the abuse began to worsen 2 weeks ago...so possibly 3-4 weeks ago, I tried to "negotiate" with him and it led to more insults and negation of my (and I kept it "I" statements) and what I did was just suggest to him that if my work is not up to par, to please find someone who CAN meet his needs that I was OK with being let go so he can find another....well, he knows I am real good at what I do, so that shut him up for a while....THEN, passive aggressive??? he removes all our bottled water and SAYS we have to drink out of the fountain from now on...where EVERYONE , field workers included who stop in drinks out of that fountain....funny.......soon as I tell him, I would be happy to wrap up the day so he can find another, he pulls THAT...so no!! he cannot deny I am very good at what I do, and because I DID stand up to him and DID try to "sort this out" with him, rather than shrink and become submissive, I stood up for myself and ASKED him, "OK, WHAT am I doing that you DONT like???" he had no answer....so I did try to "sort things out" with him, but I have learned that bullies and toxins, are not "sortable" folks...AND they get worse when challenged in anyway, or engaged in ANY way...they want SILENT submission, even if what he is ordering you to do is WRONG or , like the fountain, dangerous....he hates being questioned...he hates being asked to "show me where I am going wrong so I can fix it" well if there is nothing really wrong, that is a challenge to him and his abuse escalates......so end of story----I am leaving and I already feel some peace
anyway, I reeeeeeeeeeeely appreciate you guys stopping in and PnP , your dad is one smart cookie...all of you really helped validate me and to help me sort ME out in MY head.....
there is NO fixing this........no "sorting this out" because I tried and it failed....I did not fail, this was just NOT a healthy place in which to work....he is going to have to learn hard lessons that you don't do that to people....Off. mgr and her assistant, our assistant, they are leaving , too....I am going to her baby shower next Saturday and we talk back and forth and she said she is "outta there" and her sis, who is our little assistent will follow us.....so thats THREE very key people he will lose...BAM!!! just like that....
NOT my problem...NOT my issue....MY issue is to assess me and to work on me and to take care of ME...I'm just going to have to trust in HP on this one....
I checked the Texas unemployment and it looks like I can be "helped" thru the end of year...we got our regular 26 weeks, of which I have eaten 16 weeks, but we get another 13, so I started getting aide in April, so 39 weeks from April 1st. (actually mar 29th, my claim begain) so 39 weeks from the 1st ofApril is , if my calculations are right, I will be OK till end of year....then , PRAYING about this, maybe things will be OK....I just checked....fed. extended UI to 39 weeks, even for us gig/contract workers....so HP has time, I guess to rescue me again,
PnP, I re-read your reply, and smiled....I will have a good ref. with the office manager who ALSO is leaving, then her little sis, i know will follow because she will not stay w/out Liz and me....
and yea, he will never do a step 10, LOL, and its OK..this iwll work out OK...doing self talk today and just relaxing in this heat...will do a workout later...but my HP does not want me in this health detrimental job....no way!!!
and thank you Iamhere for your ".you got this, I have full faith in that!" yep...I will get quiet with HP and I will be OK.......
and Bo--"not about him and him being the reason you are leaving. Love it." yep...I am just leaving...No JADE on this one, LOL...he is a bully, abuser...they don't care and they don't self examine....waste of time and like PnP's dad said , yea, you want to tell them what a turd they are, but why sabotage me in doing so??? AND it won't sink in to him anyway
and TT..good to see ya...I agree with your "Keep it simple with the resignation letter, just the facts, opinions out." that is why I re-wrote my sample....just the facts mam...just the facts...
hey Maresie you said "Not engaging is really hard because bullies want you to engage." yep and yep again...when I faced him in his office to try and sort things out, even offering to step aside and let him find someone ELSE, he shut up for a bit and I thought well maybe he will think....the NEXT visit, the off. mgr. takes me aside and says to me "SOON as you faced him and offered to quit if he did not like your work, the water disappeard and now we have to drink from fountain" I asked the boss, would we have safe water later?? and he jumped on that with both feet..."NO..you will drink from the fountain" I just said "ok...I brought some water in my car---excuse me while I get Liz and me some CLEAN water" and I went out to car..had this BIG jug for emergencies of clean, fresh water and I poured her and me some big cups full and we had safe water.....THAT action on my part, P***ed him off....can you believe that??? he was ANGRY that I had a plan B
you all are great to help me sort this out...I do feel a measure of peace...making a decision to take care of me...its been one challenge after another re: toxic, passive aggressive or bullying people, but so far, i think I have measured up pretty good...so MAYBE the lessons will "lessen"....
HUGS to all
and Bo....You said "keeping it in the "I" helps me. It's not about the other person, but about who I am being.
I feel, this is a trigger for me, I felt, I see, and so on. Maybe it's me, but I don't want some open-ended comment that allows the door of a back and forth to open. It's not a discussion, right? It's an informative communication, unilateral. Heck...it's a resignation letter!!!" and yea, if I had said ANYTHING but the simple facts, it would be opening me to a "open door" sort of thing....I am locking him in with finality with what I am writing....the bombshell will go out via email tonight or tomorrow....got other stuff to do, but this is it for me....one thing I learned about bullies and aggressors/abusers.....keep it SIMPLE and NOT open for discussion....
I left one of my jobs three weeks ago. I.ran into one of my coworkers this week. I.simy did not engage. Once I am gone I really no longet care what hapoens next
I was real invested in the intrigue in the past and the chaos did something for ne. Now I am simoly ready to move on
Another one of my coworkers called me
I told him I was bisy working
I am more invested in myself than I am in how the chaos continues somewhere.
That held a lot of hooks for me before
Now I have goals I focus most of my energy on those. I try to avoid getting ensnared in things. After all I stayed ensnared for years before comoletely enmeshed with no clear boundaries in place
Maresie
Maresie, i was the same way....wanting to "keep up" with a negative past or place or person, etc., and NOW, i want to DETACH....MOVE ON....hit the DELETE button on my life and focus on moving forward....LOVED what you said here...AMEN, my friend....when I am gone I am gone...Like this POC job...when I am outta there, I am GONE....I really like the off. mgr and she is only 25 and she is so cool...when we chat, we chat about her baby and her upcoming baby, her hubs being out of work and being a say at home parent, we chat about LOTS of stuff rather then the jerk.....I feel , now, with recovery, almost "alergic" to the drama and the chaos...i want NOTHING to do with it...people ask me still about my Ex roommate..I say she is gone...done....God bless but i aint interested.....same with my ex friend up the street...she turned on me the 2nd time and I let her go and lifted her in prayer but have ZERO interest in any news of hers and the former handy man....my neighbor and friend asked me if I even talk wtih them and i said, when he drives by in his truck and waves at me, i wave back, but I blocked his and her telephone numbers.....they are PAST tense....
I want my peace and serenity and I am willing to pay the price, lilke walking away from this job he not only is a bully and abuser, but he is putting me at horrible risk for the virus...I have a very valid reason for leaving...and when I am gone, I know that Liz and I won't be chatting about his BS because she is really into detachment when you walk away from something...it is the only way for me....WHY keep dredging up the crap??? WHY keep it alive in my head??? Yea, I havn't sent the Dear John letter, but its going...and then its history for me....so yea, I am getting support now, validation from you wonderful people and I am working thru the fear of the unknown and work is bad, but I am focused on MOVING ON/FORWARD....
I am so grateful for this program, It has changed me and I like the changes...I am still fear based, but managing it much better.....HP HAS to have somethign better than this.....
Tonight, i will send my "revised bombshell" goodbye email to the bully boss....GOSH I hope his carelessness did not cause any of us girls to carry Covid antibodies.....not to mention, my mental health
It is scary to make this big of a decision, but what good is the money I make from him if I go into stress overload and have a breakdown (had one before and its horrid) OR a heart attack....OR the Covid which is scary as I am senior and I have mild asthma/allergies....so yea, I am GONE as of tonight...
I feel a bit concerned and I feel some peace as well..knowing I don't have to face bullying anymore....I mean I could "poop" golden eggs and he would come along and say "well---one egg is smaller then the other---lay another one" but I coudl have dealt with that...it is the angry, aggressive outbursts that I could not deal with....the put downs in a back handed way AND risking us workers for Covid with NOT requiring visitors to wear masks and letting same visitors use OUR restroom.....YIKES!!!!!
anyway, wish me luck I find someone with a heart to work for
Effective immediately, I am giving up my position as company controller...The job just did not work out for me.
I wish you all the best in your future endeavors
Sincerely,
Rose
*************************************
he wrote back and "thanked me" for letting him know....I thought the letter was short, kind, to the point and NO JADE, thanks to you all and your great ESH
When I wrote the email to my employer I told him not to schedule me again after a certain date. Making that stick was hard work. I had to remind him of that repraredly. My former suoervisor tried his best to overide ny request. I stuck to.my guns and he eventually adhered to my rrequesr.
Until I got paid (which wasnt right away since technically I still work for the company) I did not count my chickens before they hatch. The transition was marred by a nasty exchange from one person. I expected nothing less from her.
As I mentioned I.had the opportunity to discuss the issue with my forner co workers repeatedly i chose not to. That is generally not a principle I adhere to. My former co.workers certainly wanted to. I was too busy moving onto other issues
I decided not to give the issue any more time.
I have mentioned some of the issues that came up for me with my current co workers. I did not belabor the point which is something i most certainly do.
That is not something I generally do either.
I have since had some relief on another impasse I was dealing with. I do not think I would have had the opportunity to negotiare that impasse if I were still dealing with the repercussions of leaving that job.
Every day I try to focus on letting go Letting go and moving on is not sonething I am familiar with either. Moving on is now more important to.me than discussung how rude and obnoxious my former supervisor was.
Maresie
hey Maresie, It, to me is a case to case basis....MOST of the time, I would rather have given notice, but this time?? it was not healthy for me..I finally took care of me in the best way....Stress level is already reduced and today, instead of suffering stress overload which is VERY hazzardous to my health, I am going for a nice swim at my gym.....YES, I am sad it did not work out...always feel bad when a job does not work out, but noone is going to "reward" me for dying at my desk....$$ will not mean much if I am hospitalized from a breakdown or a heart attack......I told my co-worker and friend that from now on, like at her baby shower on Saturday,, I did NOT want to talk about him and that unhappy job....We got other, FUN stuff to enjoy talking about----She agreed!!!!!! I am done...Moving on....HP I am sure has something else for me that is happier, easier, I think I'll take HP up on his offer to carry his lighter yoke......Today, I am going to have a nap as i was up late watching a great movie, then its off to the pool....working Friday for my NICE client of 10 years and its funny!!! i go to work for him and there is minimal stress if any..I feel good because I slept ok the night before, not dreading the next day, AND after work i have enough in my tank to DO something other than recover from the stressful and often times hostile environment...I actually ENJOY the day ...working for him Friday!!!!! I deserve it so I know something ELSE will come up.....and I am safer from the COVID threat, leaving that other place....you take care
Now onto better things! Sending waves of positivity your way!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
I actually have not resigned from that job
I.am still on staff. I.do not work for one particular department.
I do not have the opportunity to go to.the gymn. They are all closed. The #socializing# is also prohibited in this state. Covid had an upsurge
Every day I go to.work we are screened vigorously
I am about to go to.testing once a week
My.whole life is affected by Covid
I.am also about to get the oneumonia vaccination
My.health is certainly.a priorory for me
I cannot afford to be sick again. I.already took.that route. Thar route caused some of my goals to be delayed for months
There is no news on my neighbor who wss taken deathly ill (one of his symptoms was a rash). No news is not very good news
I.have to take this virus more seriously and naintain social distancing at all times
The recession that is on the horizon is something I.am plannimg for. I know where I was in 2008. I can never afford to go there again
Maresie
((((((((((((((((((Serenity))))))))))))))))))))))) I had to laugh at your "what do you want for dinner"?? LMAO...that was too funny...and yea, saddened that it did not work out and miss the $$$ but feel REAL good about taking care of me, and hence, reducing a load of stress....got a text from the little off. mgr...she is just a KID and her sister is even younger and hes trying to get these untrained KIDS to "clean up" the medicare (employer) paid on the P&L statement???? like separate the medicare down into groups: field workers..office/clerical..supervisor...owner.... JUST the medicare....and the payroll company who does the payroll kept it ALL together AS IT SHOULD...so these poor kids are trying to figure out WTH??? do we do with this???.there is a report they could run on each employee IF they had admin rights to the QB online and they could do a total on each employee and multiply it by the percentage 1.45 % and do it that way, but OMG, what a hassle....SOOO glad I am gone
((((((((((((((((PnP))))))))))))))))))) THANK you for sending me waves of positive energy....I sure could use it.....I hear another stimulus package may enhance my soon to "die" unemployment extra (state will last me through the year) but gov't is talking about more stimulus because my work has really dried up....I am clinging onto HP, step 3....I've come out OK before, I will again...just gotta lean on HP's promises as long as I am doing all I can, I should be OK...I notice that I am less stressed...I will start to calm down....I am sure....I was getting horrible IBS symptoms and I had , with recovery, been able to manage it...since I started with this guy??? it came back awful, and the GAD, PTSD was making me sick all the time....I am grateful that I mustered up the guts to leave....at my age, stress overload could cause death...not to mention more vulnerability to Covid.....
(((Maresie)))) I hear ya....2008 ruined my life, financially, but with HP and program, I managed to slog through and you know??? yea, we could have bad recessionn, not gonna think about it , it is literally ODAT for me...projecting another upcoming disaster, I don't even want to go there....just trust HP to get us though all this crap coming at us......
thank you all for your AWESOME support..........I love this board....Don't know what I would do w/out you all...........BE SAFE!!! Everyone, My doc just called me and they moved up my health check AGAIN due to rising cases of Covid.....So everyone BE SAFE
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