The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading from C2C speaks about the pace we progress through the program. The author shares that we each put the Al-Anon program into practice in our own lives the best we can, at the pace that seems right for us individually. The author avoids speaking harshly, or using phrases such as "get off the pitty-pot" or "quit feeling sorry for yourself" because someone else may need more time to work through a painful situation than the author does. No one in Al-Anon stands over us with a stopwatch, telling us we are taking too long. The author concludes by reflecting on the importance of a nonjudgmental, listening ear, and how they themselves are learning to offer just that more often to other members of their group.
Today's Reminder: Today I will try to extend to my fellow members the respect, patience, and courtesy that I want for myself.
Today's Quote: "Great Spirit, help me never to judge another until I have walked in his moccasins." Sioux Indian Prayer
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Seeing the Lakota prayer in today's quote made me smile. I had the opportunity to study with Anishinaabe teachers and elders when I was at college, and I often reflect on the non-judgmental PATIENCE and respect they showed to me, over and over. Every time I read one of the principles of AlAnon that involved patience, allowing people to come as they are, and progress at their own pace, I'm reminded of the patience and care I was given. I try to give that same patience and care to everyone in my life. (And, thanks to my Al-Anon step work, I've even started to offer MYSELF that patience and care!)
I've often heard around the tables that the only meeting anyone is late for is their first one. I'm glad that I've found a local group that allows people to join as they can, even if they can't be there for the start of the meeting. And, since my local group hasn't been meeting since March due to the pandemic, I'm grateful to have this group as a constant in my life.
I hope you make today a great day!
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Skorpi, good morning and thank you for sharing this. I'm so glad to hear "the only meeting anyone is late for is their first one." Certainly true for me. I'm adding it to my collection of favorite Al-Anon sayings.
The message of non-judgement of others and self is a great one. Being gentle with myself and learning to respect myself has been one of the gifts of Al-Anon.
Thanks Skorpi for your service. I, too, was very late for my first meeting!
Besides for the patience I have for my fellows in program, I am working on this diligently for my A. I do fairly well with myself and all others. The patience needed for my A, who stops and starts recovery work, who will not commit to a serious recovery, is a challenge for me every day of my life. Let go and let God, or be dragged.
Thank you Skorpi for the reminder that this is a gentle program... one that is there for US. As someone who tends towards perfectionism in myself (sometimes I can be so unforgiving toward myself!) I have fallen into the trap of "I should be further along by now!"
It took me awhile to understand, "No should've, would've, could've." I am moving at my own pace... the pace MY HP wants me to move at. Trying to move it along faster was just my way of trying to CONTROL the situation. "Patience young grasshopper!" Extra points for those who get the reference!!
I too, am grateful for this site... super grateful for those who share their ESH, and give service to write the Daily's - I check-in everyday... it helps remind me to keep working the program!
Hump Day! Hope everyone here has a day that they can look back and either smile or be proud of!! Heck! Why not both!!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Happy Wednesday MIP - thank you Skorpi for your service and the daily. Thanks to all for your ESH and shares. I arrived at recovery late yet in a hurry. I've always rushed and not always for a specific reason. I walk fast, talk fast, process fast, etc. I did not know how to rest, be still, meditate or be patient...
My sponsor is the perfect one for me as she had the qualities I lacked. I really wasn't sure I wanted to learn how she did all of them but she was very kind, patient, tolerant and an excellent listener. Her shares were short, sweet, kind and to the point. She never tried to be an expert, just another member. She has always treated everyone the same - new member or long time member. Consistently loving, patient and kind - the opposite of how I was when I arrived. I was impatient, intolerant, direct and unintentionally abrasive.
I am way different than I used to be. I value serenity and real joy today and find that both of these come for me in simple things and in simple ways. I was told early on in recovery that there is no graduation, there is no certificate, there is no completion and it's a quality of life program, not a quality of time program. We do the best we can to practice the program, one day at a time. Tomorrow, we start fresh and do it again. We slowly gain new ways of being authentic and learn new tools for living. For me, I also learned early on that meetings are just one tool of many to practice. With this pandemic, I'm grateful to have many more tools as our meetings, like so many others, have paused. Because of all the tools available, the patience, kindness and tolerance of all who came before and the willingness to be and do differently, I am able to keep practicing and progressing in my recovery, One day at a time.
Love and light all - been a long day here but we're gifted with cooler temperatures. I'm going to throw open the windows for some fresh air during sleep - love, love, love window weather... (((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
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I laughed at this reading and share, Skorpi...