The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
In the reading for Monday, 7/13, the writer reflects upon how many days of their life they have wasted. They state they were preoccupied with the alcoholic. Never did the author think about their right to enjoy the day! One can be completely out of sync with life if their attitude is focused on tragedy, mistakes, torment, and/or worries.
Reminder: Today I will live in the present and find what I can to enjoy there. If there is pain, I will accept that too. But my pain does not have to completely overshadow the enjoyable parts of my reality. I will participate in making more of my joy: I may join in a conversation at work or at a meeting, tell a joke at the dinner table, or laugh with a friend. Just for today, I might even allow myself to sing.
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This reading reminded me of what a state of serious misery I was in for years. I didnt know any other existence , nor that I could change it. I declined new invitations for friendships, often avoided my core group of friends, and my shame and pain kept me isolated a great deal of the time. I joined alanon as a last resort. There had to be more to life than this. And yes of course, there is. But I needed the guidance and knowledge offered in this program to reverse the hopeless attitude I was stuck in. I cant begin to imagine where I would be had I not given myself the opportunity to change. Grateful member every day.
Thank you Lyne for the daily, your service and your ESH. I too spent way too much time/energy/effort in a state of perpetual misery. I too am grateful for Al-Anon that suggested misery was a choice, and I had many choices that I wasn't aware of! I too needed to be humbled and guided to a better way of seeing, accepting, embracing and living my life - and adopted the thought that this is not a dress rehearsal!
I no longer plan my days, events, holidays, etc. around the disease/diseased. I make plans and I go. I am fine if my family participates and I'm find if they do not. I have added tons of healthy friends and support to my life, so never, ever feel isolated, stuck, helpless, lost any longer. I fully accept that while the disease negatively affected my life, I believe it was because I allowed that to 'be'. Today, I choose not to.
I am grateful for the gift of unconditional acceptance and unconditional love. I no longer spend energy/time determining who's at fault, what 'it' should be, and live my life. If I am uncertain/stuck/discontent, I know it is I who needs to make a change and not anyone else. Every day with active addiction brings about a new/different set of realities and Al-Anon has given me tools to detach from the crazy and move towards the healthy. I am 100% free to be me and that me has choices every day. I do much better at staying in the present vs. the past or the future, and it's truly a great place to be! Happy Monday all - I have played 30 holes of golf today and it's very, very hot in my world! We have a feels like of around 100. I had plans for the morning and then a new friend invited me this afternoon. Since I am retired, I figured why not! I am no worse for the wear....we'll see how I feel tomorrow.
Love and light all - my wish for all is that you can find and keep your joy! (((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
