mamalioness wrote:

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However many holy words you read, However many you speak,
What good will they do you, If you do not act upon them?
--Buddha

 

****Action always means more to me then words, unless the speaker has shown me with consistent good fruit that I can trust their word

If you love somebody, let them go, for if they return, they were always
yours. And if they don't, they never were.
--Kahlil Gibran

 

****Well my sober NA daughter maybe was never mine because I finally had to let her go because she would to the "come here farther and go away closer"  head games with me..loving me one day, dissing me, not even acknowledging my existence the next day...I wrote her a loving email and told her that I've tried for 3 years now, gently to say "hello" and be a part of her life and NOT ONE REPLY...now with Covid,  she hasn't even checked to see if I am alive....so I wrote her this one last email and said I will always love you, but in love for me as well, I am letting go...Tossing in the towel....I told her I would always pray for her, but I've found so much love in my church and my recovery mates and my very very dear friends and I am finally at peace with her decision to exclude me from her life....I told her I was "OK" and that maybe I am to be the mamalioness to a lot of little broken hearts who need my ESH and my love and support....and I am going where the love is.....I told her I wish her only peace and happiness  and I signed it XOXO

Be gentle with yourself, learn to love yourself, to forgive yourself, for
only as we have the right attitude toward ourselves can we have the
right attitude toward others.

--Wilfred Peterson

****Being gentle with me was letting go the ones who don't want me in their lives...the ones who don't care about me...lift them in prayer and love and care for myself and go where the loves is....I forgive me for my mistakes , born out of being so badly injured and I make amends now AS I NEED to and I don't wait...AS I learnt to love (for the most part) and accept me (for the most part---still not happy with the inability to slow down this awful racing mind and to pay attention)  but I AM loving me and accepting me more...I see in it my boundaries...I see it in enforcing those boundaries...I see it in the kindness I show me and others...I see it in my desire to BE better and to DO better and to DRAW better energy to me.....

 

"There is no one giant step that does it. It's a lot of little steps."
--Peter A. Cohen

***I used to think if I went to about 4 meets a day and worked my program minimum 4 hours a day, and throughout, I would see recovery as big as the asteroid that took out the dinasaurs....didn't happen....it came in pieces...dribble here, dribble there,  like a leaky faucet that is not a flood, but a constant  drip  drip  drip...but those drips have added up to someone who is turning a huge corner in many things....Ohhh I am a lifer here for sure,  but life CAN be good, it CAN be abundant in all good things, it CAN, evenn, be fun

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