The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading in C2C is a fable about a farmer who found a magic flute. The farmer hoped that, by playing the flute all day, he could get his chickens to lay more eggs. At the end of the day, the chickens had laid no more eggs than usual. Someone asked the farmer if they had any success with the magic flute, and the farmer responded that it wasn't a great day for egg-laying, but it had been a great day for music!
In Al-Anon, we learn that success and failure are matters of perspective. Many of us arrive at Al-Anon doubting our ability to take any effective action because we had been unable to cure alcoholism in someone we loved. Because we defined our success by our control over the disease of alcoholism, we often failed to see the many successes we experienced each day. The Al-Anon program helps member to recognize how much we have accomplished by being wiling to walk through the doors and ask for help. In spite of difficult situations, with Al-Anon, we have the opportunity to change long-held behaviors and beliefs, and that is a great achievement.
Today's Reminder: The finest gift I can give to ensure my continued recovery is willingness. Each demonstration of willingness, each meeting attended, each Al-Anon tool used, is a mark of my success.
Today's Quote: "Every good thought you think is contributing its share to the ultimate result of your life." Grenville Kleiser
---------------------
So much is about perspective. I'm reminded by today's reading how much power I have over my reality and my life just by exercising power over my thoughts. I can decide to look at my wife's behavior as a problem, or I can accept it as it is, give her the grace of believing that she is doing the best she can, and turn my thoughts and attention to more pleasant things, like myself, what I am doing, how nice my garden is starting to look, how much better behaved my reactive dog is, how much calmer our not-so-temporary foster dog is... What I decide to believe about things I see is my choice, and I can decide to focus on the positive, focus on my successes, focus on my own recovery. Then, I see myself living the life I would like to live. When I first came to AlAnon, I was focused so much on the drinking, I tied every problem and issue to the alcohol. The litter boxes were full, it was because of the drinking. The house was a mess, and I had to spend the day weed whacking the hillside so we didn't get a fine. The house stayed a mess because of the drinking. Thanks to AlAnon, I've been increasingly able to look at myself and my life realistically. What is realistic for today, for me, given that I'm one person who has to spend at least 3 hours walking and caring for dogs? How many hours are left? What can I do with those hours? What improvements did I make in my situation today? Those are the successes that I can use to define my life.
My gardening is starting to pay off in lovely lillies and roses. The tomato plants are looking strong. My pea seeds for fall peas have finally arrived. My adolescent bunnies (maybe the very baby bunnies I collected from my yard to put back in their nest and spent two weeks protecting from my dogs?) continue to outsmart me and my rabbit fencing, so the pepper plants are no longer with us. The bunnies say they were delicious.
I hope you make today a great day!
__________________
Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Happy hump day MIP! Thank you Skorpi for your service and the daily....I arrived at Al-Anon feeling broken and hopeless and very much a failure. I was successful in business, successful in other areas, yet this disease beat me up/down. I came to realize by embracing recovery that many of my perceptions, attitudes and outlooks were warped (negative often) because of the battle with the disease.
Al-Anon has given me the ability to focus on me, change me and have grace, patience and empathy for those who are suffering. My journey is blessed each day, one day at a time, simply because I am tooled differently. I have not lost to the disease, instead I have ceased fighting everything and everyone - diseased or not. I no longer am concerned about getting my way (willful) or being right (ego) - I am much more interested in being happy and one among many.
Our tomatoes are also looking good....I just can't wait! There is no better taste than a home grown tomato! The robins stole all of our cherries and the bunnies seem to really like the blueberries. We've been joking that we're growing graciously to feed the wildlife - not always funny but it's back to outlook. I do believe that Layla, even as she aged, was a good guardian for our garden and we're missing her role here! We've had a mild few days - beautiful window weather overnight and cool mornings. We are going to heat back up after today - what a gift in the heat of June!
We have adapted fairly well to the social distancing, grocery pick-up and staying @ home more. It wasn't too hard for us - I cook most nights already and rarely eat out. I cook better than the restaurants and dearly enjoy it! I do miss F2F meetings but have a couple of groups that gather online or via text and stay in constant contact all day long. Recovery has gifted me with the ability to respond as needed when life changes! Truly grateful!
Love and light to all - find and keep your joy, one day at a time!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Skorpi, thank you so much for this share. I like the theme of willingness and perspective. and having a "great day for music" even if the chickens aren't laying eggs.
I'm glad you are sharing your life with dogs and bunnies. I receive many lessons from animals. My current lesson about control and unexpected side effects is that I'm trying to deter the local deer from eating the beautiful new plants in my landscaping -- it was a big project -- and the wild turkeys from scratching up the mulch. I love seeing wildlife around, and there are plenty of places nearby they can eat and scratch to their heart's content. But I would prefer they don't eat my beautiful front yard. A fence isn't feasible, the deer repellent spray applied to the plants doesn't seem to be working, so what to do?
My current tactic is to hang strips of shiny mylar tape around the area, and to set up shiny mylar pinwheels that are made for deterring birds. This is not the understated natural look I was gong for, but you know what? It looks really festive ... like a carnival. The light reflects beautiful colors off the mylar, that I can see whenever I look outside, and the pinwheels twirl in the wind. I THINK it is working, as I just saw a deer bypass my yard and eat at the neighbor's across the way, and I haven't noticed turkeys or their damage recently. One day at a time. But the beautiful flashing colors are a nice by-product that I had not anticipated.
...