Listening to Lois... - Al-Anon Family Group

DavidG · ~*Service Worker*~

Listening to Lois...

Lyne · ~*Service Worker*~

David, so sorry your group folded....I understand having a "mother figure." Betty was definitely my good mom figure. There is always loss to deal with, so I practice many things that Betty taught me, including looking for blessings and gratitude daily, Lyne

Freetime · ~*Service Worker*~

Wow, David, thank you so much for the link to the recorded interview with Lois. Learning about Lois's story was a huge part of my recovery. Once I realized how this strong, intelligent, energetic woman could not stop her beloved husband from drinking -- it made me more forgiving of myself, and of course grateful for her founding of our program. This recording is priceless, and I plan to listen to it all the way through.

I've also had the experience of a meeting closing -- and I was doing all the service jobs in that meeting as it kept dwindling in size. We tried many things to drum up interest -- making announcements, bringing refreshments, inviting speakers -- but it didn't work. I had such a hard time making the decision to close it -- because it was the first meeting I ever went to. But wiser members supported me and told me that this happens, it's just the cycle of life. It was part of my recovery to learn that there is a better use of my time than trying to save something that doesn't want to be saved. So now I have many other meetings I can go to, just as a member, and not a "trusted servant." And I too have become more clear about what service is best for me to do at this point.

Again, thank you for the link!!

Maresie888 · ~*Service Worker*~

I fell in love with Lois and Bill when I read a biography of them I used to be puzzled by people's response to Founders day and other events Now I understand the affection My parents were anything but nuturing. I have had to find my nuture elsewhere. Sometimes that has resulted in my putting up with issues I do not want to deal with I have boundaries these days thanks to al anon. I am so very grateful to have learned about Lois and Bill. They have really enriched my life Maresie

DavidG · ~*Service Worker*~

Oh boy! Ya''ll responses bought tears to ma eyes... smile ...

Overlock-down i have attended many meetings in different places. Meetings I needed from day one.

But this -at long last- made me realise that i am no longer a newcomer!

Took a while... I think now- that Betty was much more like a sister... when I met her she was off to "meet a friend". Pretty sure now that friend was her partner to be. She, obviously did not tell me a lot- but i do recall our meeting and parting- and the little confidences we shared- the things that only us Alanons will know.

Pretty certain now that this group right here,is my home group. It seems like some of us have grown up together!

This idea sort of snuck up on me! aww ...

Actually Betty did share one big confidence with me... which was mind-blowing for me, as a visitor to the Big Apple.

It drew me in to a piece of history, really... ... and an awful horrific piece of history it was. hmm ...

But this knowledge makes me a part of the NY and the US family... and a sort of world citizen.

[I expect that is what travel is expected to do[.

DavidG · ~*Service Worker*~

We used to have four meetings in the lakes and mountains here... south, north and west.

I had a check- the western one has a night meeting and a midday one. we never see the old GR at our assemblies really-

but she seems to be the one who has been working the programme... hmmm...

my mum was born over there, by the creek, next to the meeting venue... which was always the Salvation Army depot.

I always felt like I would never fit in. There were reasons for this. Generations of destruction. [Dysfunction is a much too light term for this.]

My current qualifiers are two boys, mokapuna [grandkid generation] who were living in a meth home.

Policies are changing here. The welfare authorities let me in to the situation. This was a recent development.

But now I say: The only qualifier I need to bring to a meeting is myself.

Given attendance at 6 or 8 meetings many people will identify qualifiers in their world. Many more that we realise!

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.