The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The reading for June 12 in Courage to Change is about Step Ten. Continuing to take personal inventory and promptly admitting when we are wrong, allows us to de-clutter unhelpful attitudes from our day. Living one day at a time is not just about freeing ourselves from fear of the future, it is also about leaving yesterday's baggage in the past.
Today's Reminder: On this new day, let me quietly reflect and search out any negative feelings that are left over from yesterday. Old resentments will interfere with my serenity today. Perhaps it is time to let them go.
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I was wary of this step when I first heard about it. Does it mean I will have to beat myself up every single day? I was already feeling bad enough!
After a few years in recovery, and working the steps leading up to this, I came to have a gentler view of myself. Recently I was reading this step and thought, hey, it should really say "...and when we were wrong or when we were right, promptly admitted it." If anyone is with me on this, we could start a petition to change the step! Just kidding As an extra bonus, the June 12 reading in ODAAT is about having a sense of humor.
I like the reminder that old resentments interfere with serenity. I know that that letting go of old resentments leaves me a lot more room to appreciate myself -- and to appreciate others, as Jerry F has reminded us recently, to completely accept other human beings (and myself, since I am human) for exactly who they are.
If I view personal inventory by starting with my assets -- the same way I did Step Four -- it is a lot easier to take this step, and to acknowledge any defects as just part of the bigger picture of who I am in total.
I did laugh at the wording of how you wanted to "change" Step 10... b/c that wouldn't help me at all! I have a "problem" with the need to be right. It stems from that perfection thing.So I think I don't need the incentive to admit when I am right! LOL! Today I lean more towards, "Do you want to be happy, or do you want to be right?" Or, take the time to value another's opinion on any one subject... b/c there is always more than one way to look at things!
I am currently sitting with Step 10. I work on promptly admitting my wrongs, and asking," How can I rectify?" I am also constantly working on keeping resentments at bay. Sometimes I wonder if I am just burying them...but I try not to. One of my friends asked me recently, how come you aren't mad at your Ex for this, that, and the other? I told them, "Because the resentments only fuel negative energy in me...which can manifest in physical symptoms! Those resentments are only hurting me. None of them will ever have an effect on my Ex, so why do I insist on hurting myself?"
They replied, "Good point!"
Wonderful Friday!! Even though this has been an "easy" work-week, it has been as hot as Hades here, our COVID-19 numbers continue to rise in this state, and every day I see the hate that other people are spewing out. So I am ready for the weekend!! I can work in my garden, certainly "unplug" and focus on promoting peace, love and acceptance of others!
Be the change you want to see in the world!
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-- Edited by PosiesandPuppies on Friday 12th of June 2020 09:29:36 AM
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Thanks FT for your service and for both great shares above. I found Step 10 intimidating when I was new to program. I mean, all I used to see were my flaws, and here is a Step on it! Betty gave me the challenge about seeing what was right with me, as well as what needed work. Thats exactly the way things should be. When I could only see the flaws, I just felt defeated all the time. Thats what I had been taught in my FOO. Its been a lot of healing and still more is needed, but now I dont mind reflecting upon my own inventory. There s plenty still broken, but I dont mind working on fixing it. My perception about myself is dramatically changed for the better, and that includes owning whats not working well. A work in progress, ODAT, with progress but not perfection. Lyne
Thank you Freetime for your service and the daily. Thank you all for your shares/ESH. Here, Here on the 'things we did right'! I was such a mess when I arrived, I really struggled with gratitude lists. When asset lists were suggested, I really struggled as I really had a negative view of myself, low self-esteem, low self-worth, etc. This disease literally infiltrated every aspect of my life - kids, husband, parent, etc. - and it was sucking the life, love, energy out of me in so, so many ways that I didn't even know!!!
Al-Anon gave me my life back and my liberty. I choose today to not be a victim or a hostage. I am not required to be any place that's uncomfortable, at any time. I am not required to keep reliving all the events in the past that hurt me, I am certainly not required to hold on to every mistake I made or even to revisit them! One Day at a Time for me and Step 10 allow me to consider this day, and this day only. I certainly can revisit a past event if I choose to, but I'm not required to.
I know today that I am worthy and I am imperfect. I am going to make mistakes and I am going to correct/amend those as quickly as possible, when I can. I heard as a child that one should never go to bed angry....I forgot that simple thought/rule along the way, and spent countless nights angry, stewing, crying, etc. Today, I've returned to using Step 10 to clear my mind after I review the day and give any remainders to the God of my Understanding.
I am beyond willing to let go of everything/anything today as soon as possible as it directly affects my serenity and sanity. I'm beyond words grateful for recovery, those who came before me who were patient with me and my 1M questions/concerns/complaints, and continue to teach me what humility and grace are.
I rewarded myself with a new golf club! It arrived in the mail yesterday so I decided I should give it a try. I went and golfed with God this morning and love, love, love my new club....so much so that I came home and ordered the matching driver! I had no idea that better clubs could affect my game but am certainly a bit more excited! Self-care comes in many, many ways - still learning as I go! I do know that BR (Before Recovery), there is no way I would have had the confidence to go and golf alone. It was actually a ton of fun cuz I got to hit multiple balls, work on improving different clubs and test my new club....live and learn all - One Day at a Time!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
As an extra bonus, the June 12 reading in ODAAT is about having a sense of humor.
Today I lean more towards, "Do you want to be happy, or do you want to be right?" Or, take the time to value another's opinion on any one subject... b/c there is always more than one way to look at things!
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