The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading focuses on the uselessness of worry and fear. We can catastrophize, turning neutral situations into nightmares. In the past, many of us tried to predict disastrous outcomes as a way of protecting ourselves. But this makes us lose touch with what is happening now, and puts us on constant alert about things that may happen in the future.
A better approach is to learn how to stay in the present. Most of our fears may never come to pass, and worrying will not make us any better prepared. As we grow in the program, we become capable of doing for ourselves what our worries could never achieve -- taking appropriate action in any situation.
Today's Reminder: Today I will recognize that worries can be potent and mind-altering. I choose not to indulge in them at all.
Quote from Louisa May Alcott: "I am not afraid of storms for I am learning how to sail my ship."
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I used to think that worry was a good-luck charm. If I worried about something, then it wouldn't happen. I'm still not quite sure about the data on that... I probably should have kept a journal detailing everything I was worried about and what were the results. But I do know that many of my worries were about events that didn't happen.
Several years ago I had a big worry that a certain relative would die, and my worry was not about the death, but that I would have to ride to the funeral in a car with a certain alcoholic person who made me uncomfortable. Today, the relative is still alive at 100 years old, doing well, and the alcoholic is no longer with us ... so the story I was telling myself was just that -- a story.
Recently at a meeting a member shared that she was addicted to Control. That made me think, could I have been addicted to Fear? The good news is, this program has helped me so much to focus on one day or one moment at a time. Slogans pull me back from the slide into fear. I do have worries, but they last for seconds or minutes, not days or weeks.
Freetime thank you for your service And this great post. As a natural worry wart which is a old demon from the past, I related so much to your daily and to your share. I have to keep practicing and practicing detachment and step three and doing the next right thing by Me
And actually forcing myself to just slow down and think about the immediate right now and over and over I use the mantra let go and let God let go and let God and easy does it and keeping the focus on man right now. So Im not as bad as I used to be, I still have a ways to go. In the past it always was the worst case scenario when I was a child but now I have a decent chance at life. Program has made the playing field more level. And a good relationship with my higher power has helped tremendously. Like this roommate, five more days, I am just making me detach and give it over to God and I am just doing life and making myself not think about it. Doing my workouts, puttering about the house and the yard is keeping me keeping the focus on the things I can do something about
Thank you Freetime for your service! I enjoyed both your share and Rose's share as well.
For me, I like to focus on the "...take appropriate action in any situation." Because I am a "planner," I feel better when I have my ducks in a row. I also believe that many a disastrous result can be avoided if you just think about the result you want to avoid, and take the steps to mitigate your course from going there.
Now this can be a good thing... but it can also be very bad if I catastrophize. It took time working this program to help me know what "appropriate action" was. I grew up thinking that if I believed the worst, then when it didn't happen, I would be pleasantly surprised... but when it did, it wouldn't catch me off-guard. It took much longer than I thought to work out of that way of thinking. I still "go there" sometimes, but I can recognize it now, and pull myself out.
I too, am learning to sail my ship!
Happy Friday MIP family! &
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
FT, thank you so much for your service and your share--The personal story about the projection into the future, riding in the car in discomfort, is a perfect example of why worrying is such a huge waste of time and energy. I have spent hours of my life with worry and fear about the future. Alanon has helped me like yourself--now, it's usually just minutes of wasted time projecting. All the tools I practice help me keep my head over my feet, instead of lost in the clouds or belaboring the past. It's a much better life, Lyne
Thank you Freetime for your service and the daily. Thanks to all for the shares and ESH. My mom was a perpetual worrier, so that's what I 'saw' as an element of adulting. Needless to say, I inherited some of that, not quite to her extreme, yet still! Most of my worry was all wrapped up in projection and expectations, often the battle of my will/wants vs. God's plan for me AND others.
It has been exhausting to live in the state of What Ifs and If Only and Maybe ......................................... My sponsor suggested to me that when I begin to let my thoughts go 'there' - to worry, gloom, doom, projection - I remind myself that it is 7:46am on Saturday, 5/30/20 and I am typing a response and I am healthy and all is well. She suggested I intentionally make myself aware of the actual present to help change my patterns of thought and it does work well for me. Through practice, I've been able to worry less and find healthy ways to better deal with my fear of the unknown.
I am a huge fan of prayer and meditation. I'm better at prayer than I am meditating. Both of these tools are useful to me all day, every day, any where and every where. I didn't really 'get that' BR (Before Recovery).
Happy Saturday MIP family - sun is shining here and we are golfing in a few hours. Love and light to all! Make it a great day!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I love the quote from Louisa May Alcott.I have never seen or read Little Women,maybe I will check it out. If I imagine my life as my ship I can see that it is me who must learn to sail it.I cannot prevent the storms from coming.If I have a quiet confidence that I will be able to get through the storms,then I do not have to live in worry and fear.How can I find that quiet confidence? Step 2 asks us to come 'to believe that a Power greater than ourselves can restore us to sanity'.That's how. For me,coming to believe is a journey in itself.I admitted powerlessness the night I became completely deflated as I call it.That is what it felt like.All the air had been knocked out of me.I realized that I did not know how to handle my life.I had to turn my ship toward God and COME to believe.It is a process and it takes time.The storms still come.But as I go along working the steps,at my own pace,I am learning to trust.I am not restored to sanity yet,and sometimes I still ask why.But my faith in the process of following Him and the program is getting stronger.I am learning to sail.
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