The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
In today's reading, the author reflects that, after living with the effects of the disease of alcoholism for years, many of us felt that good times would never come again. We may have shut our hearts and minds to joy, happiness, our hopes, and dreams. It seemed too painful to hope. We weren't happy, but at least we were disappointed anymore.
Hopes, dreams, caring, opening ourselves to love, joy, and happiness, all these are risky. And as we recover from the affects of the disease of alcoholism, we may find that we want more from life. We may be willing to risk the disappointment so we can experience the joy. The author concludes that no one is happy all the time, but everyone is capable of feeling good. We deserve to allow ourselves to experience all the joy life has to offer.
Today"s Reminder: I will not let fear of disappointment prevent me from enjoying this day. I have a great capacity for happiness.
Today's Quote: "I want to grow in my willingness to make room in my life for good times, having faith in their arrival an patience in my anticipation." Living with Sobriety
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I can really identify with the author of today's reading. After losing my first partner to cancer, and finding myself married to an alcoholic, I seemed to have settled on contentment, rather than joy and happiness. I could be content with my life, but I didn't want to open myself up to being happy. I'm still walking the path toward happiness. I have moments of happiness and joy, but they are not lasting. And maybe that's the key that I needed to find - being content with my life and staying open to experiencing the brief moments of happiness and joy, appreciating them for what they are, and not trying to hold on to them. Trusting that more moments of happiness and joy will come.
I hope you have a joy-filled day today!
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Thank you Skorpi for your service and ESH. I feel joy and/or contentment most of the time. For many reasons, I choose to stay with my A. I see that as a deficit in my character, as I am not willing to risk the vulnerability and/or disappointment again. I surely could choose a healthier partner at this point, but Im not trusting nor willing. Because I live half time an hour away near my son, I have half the week not living with my A. That helps a great deal, to have my own place and my own serenity. Its not what most couples do, but my alanon friends and other friends understand. And of course, my A is a tremendous help in many areas, so its not all alcoholic behavior that drives me nuts. We have been together 29 years (in October). God helps me live ODAT. Lyne
Previously, I was addicted to those home-improvement shows on HGTV. I think in part b/c I was looking for ways my circumstances could improve. I was always dreaming. After leaving my qualifier, and the subsequent year of getting the divorce, I couldn't stand to watch those shows anymore. In fact, I couldn't even stand music! Imagine!! The only music I could listen to without crying/breaking down was Classical. Which was fine, b/c I love Classical music! I have noticed that the past 6 months or so, I have been able to listen to other genre's of songs, as well as being able to watch those HGTV shows. I am moving on, it seems.
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Happy hump day! Stay safe & healthy
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Thank you Skorpi for your service and the daily! Thanks to all for your shares and ESH. I recall when I first began this journey just wanting peace in my mind. I truly did not consider that true joy and happiness would arrive, I just wanted peace...Boy - have I been pleasantly surprised as I have found that when I do what's suggested in this program, one day at a time, I get peace and joy!
If I ponder my journey, what strikes me is that almost every single go-to tool I use today (which I thought were super silly) describes who I used to be (in the opposite).
Easy Does It - I could complicate a simple hello from another, wondering what they really wanted or better yet, how they thought of me.
First Things First - I could not consider a step towards progress, I was so focused on perfection that I often got stuck before even starting.
Keep It Simple - Please....I could complicate a load of laundry or a trip to the grocery store just by overthinking it!
The Serenity Prayer - Accepting what is vs. what I wanted was impossible; I thought I had courage, yet was frozen in fear of the unknown more than I ever thought and Wisdom was hard to see or find in me as my thinking was so distorted and I preferred to look outside myself for blame and solutions.
GOD - that was a bad 3 letter word for me! Instead of considering the teachings of my youth, I got unstuck by considering Good Orderly Direction.
I could go on and on but you all get the drift! I don't believe any of us arrive here when we do by accident. I believe we arrive here when we are ready. Many of us hold tight to denial that we are in need of change; some don't and continue to try and ride the 'high horse' of blame/shame of their A for a while but most really want different.
So for me, the only path I know is the one I've walked. By finding the courage to be absolutely willing to set aside my will and my ego and let go of all else and trust in a power greater than I, I found me....the authentic me is light-hearted, content with being perfectly imperfect and open to new ideas, experiences and people. My days are best when I start them with my routine, that includes gratitude, request for grace and then just doing the next right thing.
Love and light all - I'm painting a dresser here @ home and have added a long, afternoon walk to my routine. I still miss Layla when I walk but am adjusting. Happy Wednesday - find and keep your joy!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thank you for sharing just "how" being opposite worked/didn't work with you! I hope the dresser turned out lovely!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
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