The material presented
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trying to type with bad finger and it slow going...its sealing and I think I'll lose feeling on the very top of it, but its going really well, considering the severity of the cut
I took care of me by deciding not to work tomorrow because this cyclically passive aggressive roommate cycles between being nice and settled then passive aggressive, doing subtle things to sabotage me, violate rules, i.e., plastic bottles are to be tossed in recycle bin in garage when emptied...I had a dog get ahold of one 3 years ago and she ingested those sharp pieces of plastic and it tore her insides up..I had to euthanize...so I TOLD roommate this in detail...Yesterday, I found FOUR empty plastic bottles in her trash where the dogs get into trash...I was very angry and told her that ONE more "slip" and I'll put her out before her term expires...out on streets... and again, I get the ole "sorry, I forgot" I told her that doesn't fly anymore and that for the remainder of the week, she best behave or she will be sleeping in her car....
So, to make sure my place is safe and pets are safe, I will stay home tomorrow and watch...weather is going to be real bad and I don't like driving in storms, anyway, I will stay home and watch until she is gone....I would absolutely go psycho on her if she and her "sorry, I forgot" crap got one of my dogs killed....I don't even want to think about it...so I will hang out in house and watch...
I texted our pastor and told him what happened and if she gives me any static on Jun 3rd, her last day, I'm calling the cops and calling him to come get the AC window unit out and I got the documents and notes to show the police IF I don't put her out before...I think she senses that she is on very thin ice so hopefully she will just GO...LEAVE....
I am resting, praying and meditating, and doing my workouts to keep myself feeling ok..Back is good now, but not going to jump the gun with it...my total body machine stretches out my back just great
Trying to keep ME normal and watching and inspecting her room, restroom, for materials that could hurt my pets or damage property....LORD this is so tiring
to keep me halfway sane as I wait out this next week, I am NOT engaging in any , other than necessary conversation and even keeping that to a minimum....minimizing all contact with her, not gonna engage her to start another drama show...Regular inspections of all rooms/restrooms, etc.
then she writes me this letter saying I am too "too perfectionist in my rules " rules that I apply to ME as well, and I am unfair and unbalanced....I texted her and told her that not only was she 100% out of line but this letter was just more evidence to me that she needs to GO!!! I told her I was not interested in any exchanges with her except stuff we HAVE to discuss like my maintaining my home, etc.
I am doing all i can to detach, breathe...pray....exercise.....work steps 1,2,3 and it is helping me stay sane, but this will be the longest week I can recall...AND if she slips one more time, I will call the police and put her out..I did some research...asked some people and found out..she is a LODGER, not really a tenant...she shares living space with me and is not on any lease (I own the home) and she is a month to month LODGER...Easier to get out if necessary...I don't have to go thru the courts, just serve her her written notice---DONE----give her enough time to get out----DONE-----AND that is if she does not pose a danger to me and pets...I CAN and WILL chuck her out if she slips one more time...Now that I am inspecting and told her so, I think she will be too afraid to screw up as she HAS to know that she will be in her car is this continues....
when it comes to my pets and my property, especially my pets, I will show her no mercy...I am gonna protect them and me....She has had all the warnings, verbal and written, and I can show them to the police...I really don't think, I HOPE she does not want things going that far, the church knowing about it and the police...I am sure she wants to keep her "image" with the church....
I could use some prayer....I am doing all the program stuff I can do.....steps, slogans, self care, boundaries., documentation, watching her like a hawk, but trying to do nice things for me to keep me from obsessing about this albatross....LOTS of steps 1,2,3 AND supportive self talk, reaching out to other recovery mates, I share with and making sure I eat, proper rest and of course lots of connecting with my HP.....
Really, in all honesty, if I did NOT have this program??? after I saw those plastic bottles in her trash, it triggered me back to my pit bull puppy who got a hold of one and i had to euthanize her because her insides were torn to pieces... I WARNED her , more than once, and when I saw them in her trash where doggies like to get into trash, I could very well have just grabbed her by her hair and threw her out....1 time is a mistake.....2 times is a pattern , to me...
She is very lucky, I am less crazy and work my program...Even so, she disgusts me and I WILL call the cops and have her put out if another safety rule is broken...The drama stuff, I could ignore, detach, but NOT safety violations where pets and property can be damaged...NOT gonna let that slide....
Anyway, I could use some serious prayer that this goes peacefully and nobody gets hurt by her screwed up issues that I want NO part of
Thanks for reading me.....Tomorrow it will be 9 days till Jun 3rd???
-- Edited by mamalioness on Tuesday 26th of May 2020 12:32:34 AM
"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
thank you PnP...this has gotten toxic, but I am gonna be hanging out here, watching...So she will probably just go...That is my prayer...I get rid of her and be done...
I hope you are OK and life is treating you well.....