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Post Info TOPIC: Stressors


Senior Member

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Posts: 394
Date:
Stressors


I think it is important at this time to talk about the stressors Mine were: work (always pressure to work more), health (my.health deteriorared badly); displacement (being away from my home); support (i found some new sources of support but I.really need a therapist soon. That is quite a list. Before the pandemic I was having a hard time. During the initial stages I got submerged. I need to keep my current level of stressors in mind. I tend to take on too much and then get overwhelmed. I could do with a lot more support and I need to build that into my life I could also do with some bv elbow room I have given myself some of that. I hope to be able to put together a comorehensive way to get through June. I know I can do better. Naming those stressors is so essential. It is hard for ne to give myself some space otherwise i could do with some. Taking care of ourselves has to be first and foremost. I tend to gravitate towards people who discount my needs as much as I do. Look where that got me. Flat on my back unable to get out of bed.

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2HP


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"She needed a hero so that's what she became."

(((((Maresie)))))

God thinks of you so much, you are not forsaken. Keep a brave and trusting heart. My prayers for you continue.


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~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 1893
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Maresie. I so agree with you

I sort of make a list , In my mind, if I am feeling stressed to identify what is stressing me and of course everybody knows hear that it is a bad roommate at the time so I am dealing with it, eviction notice was issued and so therefore while I wait the two weeks out while she is here, I am keeping things simple. Watching my house watching the water usage just watching and observing but not getting all paranoid about it because I let her know in a letter that I am watching and if she does not conserve water and use reasonable amounts, I will do the dishes and she will just have to settle for my dishwashing. Its like babysitting a large child and I am not willing to do it anymore so I am cutting it off. I am taking life just one piece at a time and keeping it simple and easy does it are my slogans that I am really working on applying, doing my life the best way I can and not letting myself obsess over this awful mistake I made letting a roommate come into my house. Its done. I have taken care of it and myself the best way I can, and now I am going to just thank my HP for delivering me from her and her into a good house or a good place to stay and I am going to do my life. I think identifying stressors is a good start because then you can know what to do to lessen them or to get rid of them.

I spoke with my Tuesday boss and told him in two weeks she is leaving and I wanted to be on duty at home watching my property and can I come into work after she is gone like maybe on Friday and he said sure no problem that he totally understood. Then my other client is opening up his office back in last week of May and I explain to him the same situation I have with my wounded finger and my roommate and he is always understanding and he just wants to keep me so he always goes along with the things that I need To take care of myself because I always show up and do my duty on the job

I think with unemployment even after I report what earnings I make, will sustain me very well and I will be OK and I am going to trust in my HP and I am going to thank him for prayers already answered that I am praying for

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Rose, a work in progress!!!

KEEP IT SIMPLE_EASY DOES IT_KEEP THE FOCUS ON ME



~*Service Worker*~

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(((Maresie))))

Good on you for knowing that naming your stressors is the first step in taking care of you! You are very self-aware... and you are so correct when you say, "Taking care of us should be first and foremost!"

2HP - I had never seen that quote before, and I love it! It certainly applies to Maresie's situation! Thank you for sharing this!

It kind of reminds of a piece of wall art I found at a thrift store shortly after I left the marriage, went back to school and began setting up my "tiny house"...

She BELIEVED she could... and she DID.

&



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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend

"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness."  ~ Mary Oliver

 

 



~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 10549
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(((Maresie))) - good on you for naming your stressors! So, so often when I am overwhelmed, it really helps to just name or write what is really affecting my mind, heart, body or soul. In recovery, I have learned that for my serenity and sanity, self-care is not optional - it's necessary. Putting me first helps me better serve others as I'm able to do so with grace, humility and dignity. Sending you tons of thoughts and prayers - you're on the way to your 'next normal'!

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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene

 

 



Senior Member

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Right now i am #off work# sick. Inam going to ask.my doctor to put me off for a while because I am immunosuppressed We will see. I am making headway on major decluttering. I.have big goals. I am about to start stage 3 of moving. I am pacing myself Being sick is a reminder health first I do not have many plans. I want to mavigate this transition

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Bo


~*Service Worker*~

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Stressors, triggers, I have long said it can be critical to health and well-being that we have tremendous clarity and aware in and around exactly what these things are. If you don't, then you potentially can fall victim to the slippery slope we so very often hear about. However, even if you do -- you are so very well aware of what they are -- the hope is that you are even more well aware of what you need to do when those stressors or triggers emerge, rear their head, and pop up. Way back, before recovery, I knew everything there was to know about my triggers/stressors...EXCEPT what do to when the popped up!!! Guess what, knowing everything was of ZERO HELP.

We've all heard of paralysis by analysis, complacency, denial, and more of the like. That's what recovery brought me -- HOW TO NOT HAVE ANY OF THOSE THINGS HAPPEN! I avoid ALL OF THAT! So, what I did was during my recovery, develop a track to follow, and most of it had to do with ACCEPTANCE, SURRENDER, AND LET GO. I mastered the first two, and the third one just happened naturally. It took no effort. That to me is a miracle! I apply and work those things, and those are the first three steps in alanon, and the alanon program and perspective, the alanon mindset and methodology, allows me to have those stressors and triggers not impact me or cause me to react.

Even as recent as a few years ago, a simple certain text, comment, tone, from my ex would trigger me. Today, none of them trigger me. Early on, before recovery, I had a hundred stressors or triggers. Soon it was 80, then 50, then 10, and then like I said just a few. Today there are none. I am grateful. Something new can pop up and cause a twinge, or something like that. Brand new, out of nowhere. It's a slight trigger, something new, but I can feel the slightest, innate, knee-jerk muscle or eyebrow movement. I get it, and I am so OK with that. But the reaction is a few seconds, and there is NO DESIRE for me to react or do something. All of that comes from the alanon program, and more importantly, me actually doing the work. Time takes time. Little by slowly.

It works if you work it, so work it, you're worth it.

__________________

Bo

Keep coming back...

God, grant me the serenity...to accept the PEOPLE I cannot change...the courage to change the ONE I can...and the wisdom to know it's ME...

 



~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 2171
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  smile Thanks Maresie...

                                    I vowed to take the stressors out of my life- one by one.

This took time- but I realised that all my stressors were connected- which made the next stage easier. Thanks so must for your thoughts and insight! aww.

David.



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A Universe that Creates Flowers : Has to be Trustworthy.



Senior Member

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Posts: 394
Date:

I am a lot less stressed out after a week or two off work. That heloed a great deal. The opportunity to be on my own really heloed too tremendously Nevertheless I really do take on too much. I absolutely go overboard on working

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~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 1893
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((((Maresie))))))

I wanted to check up on you and see how you are doing and I am glad to see that you are feeling better, sending you gentle and healing hugs of support. Bless your heart youve been through a lot and I know it sounds like a cliché but this too really does pass if we work steps 12 and three which I see you are taking good care of yourself. Always in support

__________________

Rose, a work in progress!!!

KEEP IT SIMPLE_EASY DOES IT_KEEP THE FOCUS ON ME

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