It is so often the female, the spouse and wife who are named the enabler and the co-dependent and such and I didn't understand the term or the behavior when I first arrived.  It was after long while as I listened and watched and then experienced in my own recovery that often those terms were interchangeable with being supported and loved unconditionally.  That was what was being used to being brought along in the program I didn't know or understand and often didn't hardly care.  My first sponsor was female in spite of the guideline, "Men on men, Women on women" and thankfully she fired me because I was behaving to my attitudes.  What was I looking for?  I have no idea; just a fixit that I  didn't earn with spotlight and loud organ music.  She fired me because she knew in spite of me that it was the very best that  my HP wanted for HIS Jerry F.

I remember one night after a meeting talking to her from a payphone complaining that I was depressed and seeking suicide and that a bus was coming and all I had to do was step out in front of it and "it" would all be over.  "Well I guess if I don't see you at our next meeting the bus solution worked", she replied.  DONE!! It worked and I went home to bed.  That was 40 odd (yeppers) years ago.  Thank you HP for the wahines, the women of my program and give me the determination and grace to return the blessings.   (((((MIP)))))