The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading is taken from The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie - a Hazelden Meditation Series book.
"Sometimes we'll take a few steps backward. That's OK too. Sometimes it is necessary. Sometimes it is part of going forward." - Codependent No More
The reading goes on to say, "Life is a gentle teacher. She wants to help us learn." The lessons that are there are the ones we are supposed to be learning. We may just not be aware or "woke" yet. The book likens the learning process to being in Algebra class. We strain and strain to understand the content, but despite all our efforts, we walk out of class more confused than ever. We become angry, frustrated, confused. Finally in despair, we may turn away... thinking we will never "get" that formula. Later, perhaps while talking a walk... when our mind is quite and and at peace, we get it! We learned! We are able to move that one step forward. The reading goes on comparing it to a school class... "the next day in class, it was hard to even imagine not knowing... we had forgotten the frustrations of not knowing... it seems so easy... now"
It is OK to become frustrated, confused. Angry. Despair. LIFE is a gentle teacher. She will keep providing the lesson until we understand. "Then it is OK to walk away and let the breakthrough come... it shall."
I find it amazing how this little daily reader book provides me with what I need, on the day I need it!! I have taken a couple steps back- in my opinion- I am dealing with some emotions I haven't dealt with in quite awhile. It has disturbed my serenity for a couple days. I was discussing this fact with my sponsor, and she said, "Why don't you explore the anger instead of trying to sweep it away? Write down the reasons why you are angry. Then think about the reasons, not just the anger."
Brilliant! Why didn't I think of that? Well, b/c I am in the "thick of it," that's why!
So I went outside. Picked some strawberries that are growing in my garden. Once my mind was clear, I then put pen to paper. What I found out was that I WAS trying to sweep the emotion under my rug. I realized that it what I do with every hard, strong emotion!!! My serenity wasn't disturbed because I had feelings of anger, it was disturbed b/c I had recognized how I deal with it, and it no longer sits well with me!!! ~REVELATION~
So I accepted this, and I took the steps needed to speak my truth, with out being mean. Last night I slept like a log! I guess I just took one step forward again.
So for today fellow MIP peeps, remember to be gentle with your journey. As the reading says, sometimes our path will be one step forward, two steps back. And that is OK. Progress Not Perfection.
I hope you are all healthy and safe.
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
PnP - thank you for your service, the daily and your ESH. How lovely would it be if I could sit here and share that recovery has been a continuous, upward trajectory of life improvements, spiritual growth and overall personal improvement! Unfortunately, not my experience. While I don't go out of my way to stir pots, create drama/chaos, etc. it does seem to find me. Sometimes because of this disease that brought me to Al-Anon and sometimes other things. Each life event that causes me to feel left of center really has been an opportunity for growth - I just didn't always know it at the time.
All I know is that each day I try and do this thing called life using what I've learned in recovery with the tools suggested is a much better day than I had before. I am grateful that my sponsor always reminds me that I'm expected to be imperfect, I was designed that way and I am loved just as I am. I also believe deeply that the God of my understanding wants me to be happy, joyous and free. All I really need to remember is that it's not about falling down - that's going to happen...it's really about what I do when that happens and how I get back with my feet under my head/heart.
As much as I wish it weren't true, most of my best life lessons have come from my greatest moments of pain. For me, when I'm going 'thru something', it is so very, very helpful to remember that this too shall pass. Good on you for using your program to help determine the next right thing - it does work when we work it! I must admit that I'm jealous you got strawberries so close by!!! One of my favorite fruits for sure!
(((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Life is a sardonic, playful, hard teacher in my experience. But when I get still.. It simply Is. I suppose there's a gentle strength in acceptance of life on life's terms. How I treat me is life's treatment of me. Am I gentle? I'm trying to be in certain areas and its hard because its new! Thanks for your service PnP <3
Thanks PnP for your service and for all above great shares. A recovery friend got me The Language of Letting Go and I have a plan to take a look at it today. Its quite a relief to learn to feel my feelings and then let them go. Sometimes it takes me a while for the letting go part, but better late than never. Lyne
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