The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's topic in Today's Hope is about the eighth step - making a list of all people we have harmed and became willing to make amends to them all.
The author is careful to point out that the eighth step is not about madly dashing about yelling "sorry," it is also not about feeling guilty. It is about beginning to heal. In taking the eighth step, we allow ourselves a change in attitude. We allow ourselves to experience a healing attitude toward the people we have harmed, and we begin to change the energy and dynamics of our relationships with those people. This begins the process, before we even begin to make amends. We are able to release negative feelings and energy, and open the door to positive feelings and energy instead.
The eighth step is when we become willing to let go of our hardheadedness and begin to repair our relationships with others. As the author shares, the energy of healing begins with us.
Today's Reflection: "No one cam make me act a certain way; only I can control my emotions and conduct."
Today's Quote: "Life is not about waiting for the storms to pass...It's about learning how to dance in the rain." - Vivian Greene
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I like today's reflection about me being the one who is in charge of controlling my emotions. And, since it is raining today, the dancing in the rain quote made me smile!
Step 8 was intimidating to me when I first started the program. When I look back on it now, I really do see step 8 as the start of changing the dynamics of a relationship. So much of how I am feeling is within my control, and so much of how I treat others is dependent on what I think about them and the stories I tell myself about situations. I really am able to improve my interactions and relationships with people by focusing on the positive and accepting things as they are. Step 8 for me often acts as a list of people I need to send more positive energy toward now. Yes, I may have done or said something that I need to make amends for, but the REASON I did or said what I did has a cause, and I can begin to address that cause by addressing my thoughts and the stories I tell myself, because both those things impact the emotions I feel.
I can't say I was dancing in the rain this morning, but I sure was walking dogs in it! Hope you have a lovely day, regardless of the weather.
__________________
Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Today's Quote is one of my favorites... so much so, that I have a stencil of it on my bedroom wall!
For me, Step 8 was all about the WILLINGNESS to make amends. Yes, I made my list. But more than that, I delved into why each person was on that list, and how I thought it was best to address the amends! I think by really going through Step 8, I was able to see why having compassion for my alcoholic Ex would truly benefit me... provide me Peace in my soul!!!
Strangely foggy here today... I am going to enjoy the cooler temps!!
Happy Hump Day!
Stay healthy everyone!
&
__________________
"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Good morning, MIP, and thank you, Skorpi, for sharing this topic. Thinking about Step 8 reminds me of how my sponsor approached it. She suggested that the first person to put on my list was .... myself!
Have I harmed myself, and should I make amends? Yes. My character defects certainly made life more difficult for me. I didn't know better, so I couldn't do better in the past. Am I willing to make amends to myself by letting go of self-hatred? That's a bit harder, but yes, I can see the necessity of it. By understanding and forgiving myself, it lifted a weight off me so I could more easily think about others and how to best make amends to them.
I love the steps and how they take me little by little, in baby steps, to a better state of being.
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