The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Todays reading is a focus on humility, and how being humble can help us be open in our recovery. The writer describes having grown up with an assumption that he/she could do anything and had the right answers for everyone. All of us who grew up in alcoholism may recognize this as a familiar reaction to feeling that we had to be in control of everything, because everything felt out of control! The writer then describes how Alanon brought the concept of humility- beginning with the trust that a power greater than self would be the Director to a new way of life. As I was reading the page today, I thought (conceitedly) I never thought I had all the answers! I never thought I could do everything! For me, instead- I was happy to assess how everyone else was doing, in my own not-at-all humble opinion. I was an expert at being judgmental! I have to work at that all the time, remembering to pay attention to my own situation and understand that I dont have to offer my opinions of everyone else. My connection with humility is remembering that if I am honest in a faith in a Higher Power, then it follows that I will not try to enforce my will over the will of my Higher Power. I appreciate the first sentence from the thought for the day: Humility can lead to a full, open experience of life.
Thank you Mary for your service and ESH. One of the things Betty had taught me was that humility=Quietness of heart. And I just found the reading on it, in C2C p. 142. I think thats how she sponsored me, with serenity and calmness.
I was just thinking this morning, that I am as sick as my A. The difference though, is that I acknowledge my defects and ask for help with them. I want to be humble, grateful, searching for health through alanon, and as a result I can find humility and serenity. Betty was truly a great teacher. Lyne
Thank you Mary, for your service and the daily. I agree, lyne, Betty was truly a great teacher... she led by example!
I thought I had humility. I was always doubting myself, always thinking that others were "better." But over the years of living with an addicted loved one, I became the "master of dealing" and that led to feeling that I was always correct about MY feelings/beliefs etc. That kept my mind closed.
By truly embracing this program, I had to admit that what I was doing was not working for me. That I had spiraled into some weird life that wasn't healthy! I had to admit that despite trying to be humble, a part of me felt that I was "right." I think it was when I finally took a member here's advice, "Do you want to be happy, or do you want to be right?" is when I began to accept that I wasn't truly humble. So I began the work on losing the desire for perfectionism (in myself), to being more humble and open to the possibilities that I certainly didn't have all the answers - that other people's POVs were just as valid as mine!
I am hoping that I am a more pleasant person to know/work with, now.
One of my favorite sayings: When we know better, we do better!
Keep healthy and safe this Sunday!
&
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Thanks (((Mary)) for the reading and your share. I really didn't relate much to the opening of this reading. I definitely didn't have an overblown ego, a sense of smugness while raised in a home with alcoholism. In fact, I didn't have much confidence in my abilities and gaslighting caused me to not trust in my own thinking. Without a program of recovery, I went on to repeat my history by marrying an alcoholic and continuing the pattern of dependency on others to define my worth and direct my life. You know... "looking for love in all the wrong places." It didn't feel very good but it was all I knew and I didn't know a way out.
Then came Alanon and with a track record of not trusting myself, it was hard to trust that others who seemed happier than I was that had been in the program awhile. It was hard to trust that they might have some experience, strength and hope that I could apply to my own life. I experienced greater fear of letting go than lack of humility when new to the program. What if your suggestions led to something even worse than what I was already experiencing. The familiar although painful seemed safer than the unknown. I pretty much knew what to expect.
My first sponsor was an atheist but I quickly learned this didn't matter one bit for working the steps of the program. Although I came in feeling the god of my understanding had abandoned me, time and experience brought me back to the same hp who in fact had always been a loving god when I worked step 2. There began the journey of seeking answers concerning self love which especially that hp could provide. TT
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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
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