The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading is taken from "The Language of Letting Go" April 18th - by Melodie Beattie. I thought it was appropriate.
FREEDOM
Many of us were oppressed and victimized as children. As adults, we may continue to keep ourselves oppressed. Some of us don't recognize that caretaking and not setting boundaries will leave us feeling victimized. Some of us don't understand that thinking of ourselves as victims will leave us feeling oppressed.
Some of us don't know we hold the key to our own freedom. That key is honoring ourselves, and taking care of ourselves.
We can say what we mean, and mean what we say. We can stop waiting for others to give us what we need and take responsibility in ourselves. When we do, the gates of freedom will swing wide.
Walk through.
Today, I will understand that I hold the key to my freedom. I will stop participating in my oppression and victimization. I will take responsibility for myself, and let others do as they may.
I felt this was appropriate as some think that our restrictions of our normal freedoms for the moment outweigh the benefit to us as a whole. I became angry and frustrated by this. Then that moved into a form of despair, b/c I see first hand all the nurses/doctors/resp.therapists/pharmacy personnel that are worked beyond capacity in the "surge areas." They are family, friends and co-workers and I fear for them daily (as well as myself, if I am being honest). This reading helped me to refocus on the fact that I can take responsibility for MY actions. I will give myself a boundary this weekend: No actively looking at news stories highlighting protesters of the "Safer At Home" mandate. Then I can let other's opinions on the matter go in one ear and out the other!
Make it a great Saturday, MIP!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Thanks pnp for your interesting read and share. I definitely only found personal freedom after several years in program. The concept of being free took on a special meaning for me. I had allowed my enslavement after a lifetime of abuse and loving addicted people. I didn't know any other way of living. It's been a long road, but a positive one, through alanon. Grateful member, Lyne
Thank you PnP for your service and the daily. I do believe the program gives me the tools to be Happy, Joyous and Free. Free from the past, free from my own obsessions, insane thinking, etc. If I am willing to be open, humble and do the work, there's no limit to the freedom to be gained in recovery.
Wanting to control other people, to make them live as wed have them live, makes the attainment of serenity impossible. And serenity is the goal we are seeking in this serenity program. In this life.
We are each powerless over others, which relieves us of a great burden. Controlling our own behavior is a big enough job (from Each Day, A New Beginning)
Freedom reminds me of the Third Step, and turning all things over to the God of my understanding, I felt a freedom that Id never felt before. I stopped trying to control everything so much, stopped trying to play God when thats not my job. With this freedom comes the faith that things are unfolding as they are meant to, without any help from me. Acceptance of life on lifes terms gives me peaceand the energy to open my eyes and keep moving, one day at a time.
Happy Saturday MIP family - off to golf in a while! Grateful my state allows it and that our country club takes all precautions, as outlined by the state & county to keep us apart and safe. Love and light to all...(((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thanks for sharing this Language of Letting Go daily reading and for your share (((pnp)))) This is a really deep topic. I think how one works their recovery around it is subjective to each person's family of origin issues. There really isn't a one size fits all tool for this in my humble opinion.
A more common thread here as I see it anyway.. is dependency. Whether that dependency is generated by skewed self worth as an adult or survival on another for basic needs such as housing, food and care as a child.. unhealthy personal boundaries can be the result and lend themselves to a myriad of emotional, physical and spiritual fallout.
In Alanon, the peeling of the onion particularly in the action steps can be painful but worthwhile journey of self love. "We didn't know what we didn't know," and "When we know better we do better;" are perhaps simple sayings but loving ones that are centered in forgiveness which can help me with any resentment, anger, self loathing, feelings of hopelessness or fixation that may arise from one dimensional staring at my past. Doing the inside job by working the steps of the program with a trusted sponsor or other confidante releases me as a hostage to reliving "then" and helps me to fill in my "present" with an abundance of empowering actions that are self loving.
For myself, this didn't come about overnight and had a lot to do with growing a relationship with a higher power that I grew to learn loved me unconditionally. My higher power is safe to give all of myself to. There is no fear of abandonment. Love and acceptance aren't conditioned. Unlike humans whose love and acceptance may be conditioned on accommodation of their will, my higher power's love fills me every day of my life whatever my choices. I am never alone when I can hold onto the belief that something much greater than myself and others is loving me and holding me in safety and will continue to do so even in darker moments. It can be hard to consistenly hold onto this belief.
As I keep working the spritual aspect of my Alanon program, trust in myself grows, trust in my hp and trust in my ability and right as an adult to choose life affirming experiences, safe and healthy persons and be of service to my hp. For me, this growth has brought about freedom from the bondage of my past as we say in the program. I am more present and more available to be guided by my hp's will for me and incredibly grateful. TT
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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
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