The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I wanted to share a simple moment that felt good. I ordered take out tonight. When the delivery person came by, I said to protect us both, why dont you drop it there and ill come grab it. She huffed out loud, places the bag down and turned quickly only to stop and take my picture as I picked up the bag. I thanked her and closed the gate. I instantly began to regret not saying something more thoughtful and regretting I had offended her. Then I caught myself. My action was the safe one and my comment was thoughtful. If she was going to feel upset, offended, stressed, or whatever...she had the right to. I needed to stop trying to assert myself as having anything to do with her reaction. Just allowing myself to be in the space of my own feelings and comfortable in what I am doing to protect myself from the virus (assuming I am not a carrier or asymptomatic which I cant really know) while doing what I alone think is right as a global citizen while at the same time appreciating another human being doing the same thing was so freeing and peaceful. I cant have back all of the days, hours and minutes I have wasted over worrying what someone thinks I meant or agonizing I didnt control a situation by thinking of every angle better before speaking. The refreshing feeling of letting it all go and accepting that we all will just be and have the right to do so is such a personal reward. That little change seems tiny but feels huge. Feels like progress and hope. Have a great Monday. ((((Hugs))))
Not only were you being proactive about your health and this pandemic, but you were also looking out for the health of that delivery person!! And, to put the cherry on the proverbial sundae, you stopped your Old Behavior right in it's tracks and found your serenity!
Well done, I say!
&
__________________
"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
I so agree that this period of time is our spiritual opportunity to be who we really want to be, well done! and may our love and tolerance continue expanding
May she be peaceful... may she be happy... may she be safe... may she awaken... may she be free...
Given all that is going on in the world around us, different people are going to take different measures as far as being/staying safe, prudent, responsible, social distancing, and more. Some people are doing nothing! I am sure what will also be different are people's "reactions" regarding others. My take is very simple -- so be it. So be it. Period. I don't judge people. I don't care if other people judge me. I have gotten to a point in my life where, in a case like this, I do what I feel is best and healthiest for me. I don't have to explain to someone else that I have a compromised immunity system, so I have to do this, or do that. I don't have to explain to someone else that I am prone to various things -- bacterial and viral elements being the major culprit -- and that being the case, I have to do this or do that.
I am not dismissive, rude, or arrogant about it. I am polite, civil, friendly. But different people react differently. Several weeks ago, before this pandemic, I saw a young person react with anger, bordering on rage, towards an elderly man in the supermarket. People were appalled. It was deplorable. However, we don't know what we don't know, but even with that, the reaction was certainly not appropriate. Different people react differently.
Each person should do what they feel is best for their own health and safety. All the best to all.
__________________
Bo
Keep coming back...
God, grant me the serenity...to accept the PEOPLE I cannot change...the courage to change the ONE I can...and the wisdom to know it's ME...
Love the thread! Especially wanted to come back to validate sunmustshine again. Just off the phone with another member who echoed your exact thoughts that this period of time is a learning environment for us (amazing awareness)
For many of us, this is a time for making amends. to ourselves... to others... to the world at large... to Higher Power.
From where I sit, this is a victory for (((sunmustshine))) she made amends to herself by letting go (Let Go or Be Dragged, as they say.) other option was to follow old habits, attach to negativity, same same, nothing changes.
How others behave is not what matters. Al-anon pulled me out of my victimhood, gave me a new perspective... helped me see how the other person merely plays their part for my benefit, to help ME grow and become who HP wants me to be..
To thine own self be true. You chose yourself rather than buckling under the weight of people pleasing. You made a mature and responsible decision that may have helped yourself or countless others. Thanks for doing what was in your power to not be a part of the problem. It benefits all of us. ((hugs))) TT
-- Edited by tiredtonite on Monday 30th of March 2020 11:48:14 AM
__________________
Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
Thanks for the share sunmustshine! My heart smiles when I see recovery in action. It took me a while practicing our program to accept and embrace that I am not responsible for the reactions or responses from others. As long as I am true to me, all is well.
I pray for all those directly affected by this virus as well as for all of us who are indirectly affected. I was able to buy a meal yesterday for another and also assist several with shopping needs. I am fortunate that 'most' are respectful of the 6 foot rule whether I am shopping for needs, taking a walk or on the golf course. There will always be those who are rule-breakers, and I just go way wide!
Stay distant, stay safe and stay healthy MIP family!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Great thread. You know what I liked most about your share, sunmustshine? It was the reminder that other people have a right to their own reactions. Too often I not only "should" all over myself, but I also "should" all over others.
Great reminder to stay inside my own hula-hoop and practice loving kindness where possible. If I feel disturbed, there's something going on inside me that needs to be looked at.
& 