The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I've been on self-quarantine now for the last week and a half or so. Currently I'm home alone while working. My roommate is likely going to be starting to work from home in a little while, however, so I won't have this complete alone-time for too much longer.
In any case, I found myself feeling really angry and worked up today. Watching some of the mind-boggling selfishness come out of our government--wishing to put profits before human lives. Hearing about the dire straits NYC is in. And then I encountered someone who just decided to talk about how terrible the human race is in general and it came across to me as just outrageously insensitive given the current circumstances going on.
I had it. I've got monthly hormonal things going on now, too, and I could just feel the rage building up in me. And then I realized... hey - I'm alone in the house right now. I'm going to PITCH A FIT. No one's going to get hurt by it. I'm just letting off steam. So I did. I got up from my desk, stomped my feet and hopped up and down and just screamed and yelled out all the profanities I figured I needed to yell. And it was GREAT. I feel so much better now.
I know ultimately I get to hand these things over to God again.. and again... and again, since I am powerless over what's happening outside of my little hula-hoop. But it's good knowing that I have very real immediate things I can do physically to help release some of this stress that's going on. This is why exercise is so important to me, too. It's a good release of pent up stress. It's not a solution to my spiritual problems at all. That's what having and working a recovery program is for. But getting physical is a good companion to overall health.
So - if you have the convenience to, and you know you're not going to scare the bejeezus out of your family members or neighbors, etc., remember to do something to left off the steam that may be building up inside of you. Once you let that out, you might be able to better concentrate on your spiritual and emotional health.
Just want to validate your anger, you are not alone.
Your exercise reminds me of an energy technique I once used (in an empty house absolutely, lol)
...taking in a full deep breath... then bending over and loudly exhaling anger energies as though vomiting it up and out..loud, horrid sounds... several times until relief comes. Just practicing a willingness to let go of anger so that it doesn't manifest into bodily disease.
EFT tapping, acupressure, reiki, meditation.. all great tools that help stay calm and trusting to the Higher Power.
I too find eerie similarities to what is going on in the world at large... to that experience of being affected by alcoholism inside my own little home. the dis-ease of extreme selfish, self-seeking, dishonest, and fear... results in pure insanity...
Do you sometimes imagine how our steps and traditions would help to save the world?
Someone recently shared what she thinks is funny: "God is angry with us, so He sent us to our room."
is that a joke?? I'm not so sure
thanks for posting
-- Edited by 2HP on Thursday 26th of March 2020 11:57:59 AM
It is OK to feel this anger. In fact, what you wrote about made me think, it is also OK to let it out (where appropriate). In fact, it will probably do my body some good!
As usual, I am holding things together by a thread - trying to be careful for my parents (whom I live with), trying to be practical and focused for my co-workers, and trying to be Strong and Unflappable for my son (who lives with me still).
As news turns from "This will be a national emergency, why won't you listen?!!!" to "OMG, I just lost my best friend, grandparents, parent, I am devastated" I am finding my personal peace beginning to unravel.
Your post specifically, helped me to see that I need to start taking care of my emotional and psychological needs now... not later.
Thank you, Bless you!
& : heart:
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
I hear you. I haven't had any of those moments. Just did a zoom meeting with 4 girlfriends where we vented, expressed our concerns, talked about how hard it is to be at home all the time with kids and partners, etc.
I have a lot of peace about all this right now but I can 'feel' other people's anxieties regarding this. My son, the zombie people at the grocery, etc. I'm trying to make the best of things and doing my best to practice our principles regarding understanding what is in my own control and what is not. There isn't much we can do other than protect our society at large and keep this virus from spreading too quickly. Hugs and prayers to you all. My outburst and angry/sad moment may come in a week or two weeks but I know I'll hit a wall eventually! At least, with this, we are in it with the rest of the world. I don't feel so alone like I did when I was dealing with active alcoholism (well, until I found Al Anon anyway). Maybe something good will come of all this eventually?
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Never grow a wishbone where your backbone ought to be!
& : heart: