The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Todays reading is about practicing program tools and keeping an open mind about using them. The writer describes how initially, she did not know how to meditate and considered it a crutch in dealing with the circumstances of life. Her sponsor reminded her that we humans often need assistance and there is nothing wrong with that! So the writer opened her mind to meditation, and for her it took the form of thinking of her dog when out on a walk. The dog would often run ahead but turn back to look from time to time. For the writer this came to represent checking in with her Higher Power and being reassured that she was not alone.
This reading reminds me of a time when I was terrified of open time. As my marriage was ending, there were so many unknowns and open ended time was absolutely anxiety inducing. I could not sit still, and found myself making lists of daily chores as a comfort. I was writing things like: first Ill brush my teeth, then Ill wash my face, then I will run, shower, dress, etc etc. Seeing what I needed to do was a comfort. Having my mind be still was not!! I know there must be people feeling like this now- and we are being asked to stay still. Some of what helped bring me away from the anxiety of open time to an appreciation of it: Breathing, stretching, reading, meetings, running, making music, writing and also something like what the writer did I will pick something that is a sacred place to me: sometimes I picture the beach where I grew up and try to conjure the sounds and smells of it, or I will think of a cherished relative whose kitchen I used to sit in as a child, the smell of coffee, the sound of an old drawer where candy for the kids was hidden, all the details that my brain can hone in on to bring me focus and calm.
We are in some kind of surreal place right now and Im sending out strength and positive thoughts to anyone who is feeling scared, anxious or alone. We are not alone!
I am so very glad to see that you are healthy! My Program Tools help keep me centered. The Toolbox is getting used quite a bit these days! Right now, working in healthcare is a double-edged sword... you are still at a job, but it is one that makes you come in contact with possible infected people. I use all precautions, and ask my HP to keep me safe, I also ask for extra patience and compassion to come forth from me, as we all deal with something of this magnitude differently. The more scientific information I have, the less stress I feel... most people feel more stress. I must be aware of that.
I am shopping for my 79 year-old parents today so that they don't have to go out. I am praying that there is enough food/supplies so that I can meet their needs.
As always, &
__________________
"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Good morning MIP. Thank you Mary for your service and the daily. Thank you both for your shares and ESH. These are truly trying times, and I am truly deeply grateful for recovery tools I've got/use. It's funny the reading talks about meditation - that's still a hard 'thing' for me to do. I am so not good at sitting still or stilling my mind yet have improved with practice.
PnP - a friend of mine just headed out and got it done. She felt today would be a good day as many are still headed to church or watching on-line. She said things were picked over yet she got what she needed. Take good care of you and love the service you are doing for your parents. I also thank you and all who work in the health care field for your tireless efforts in these times and all times!
As with so many things, I still pause and pray before I proceed. I remind myself that the God of my understanding wants me to be part of the solution and not part of the problem. In past moments, I certainly could be part of the problem and today, I really try to be/do different. I have a group of sponsees who are truly panicked and full of fear as they will not be able to pay their bills. These are very, very difficult times and my hope and prayer is we can just go through it, one day at a time, with patience, tolerance and kindness.
Enjoy your Sunday all - we are not alone!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thanks Mary for your service and Im grateful for all above shares.
As the world has gone upside down, thats how Im feeling on and off. I need all my tools in the forefront of my mind. Im trying ODAT just for today. Ive written to my alanon friend as we do each morning, and I plan to go to a meeting online this evening. I pray daily for peace and health on earth. Lyne
Mary, you are describing a miracle. From fear to appreciation. I found it very helpful to see your specifics, and will spend my day emulating what you have described.
I certainly have the time.
It was such an endearing picture of your dog running ahead and looking back to show a connection to HP. Love it.
Thank you for your service Mary. Your warm post reached my proverbial doorstep today as I felt drawn to log back in to MIP.
Yes, feelings of anxiety, fear and aloneness has been growing. I'm doing my best to slow down, to breath, and to keep taking the next right step ... even if it doesn't feel good. Thank you for the reminder that I'm not alone.
& 