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I Came here today in Grief of another Loved one lost to the Disease of Addiction... A Fellow that I Grew up with and Tried SO Hard to Save from his Own Inner Demons...We went to School together since the 1st Grade, and Later in Life Became Neighbors, We had So Many Fun Loving, and Crazy Memories through the years, Even into our Drinking Days... He was My Friend, My Brother to Another Mother...I Had visited him in the Hospital after a Very Bad OD... He was Child Like, he thought we was Still in School and would Call me by my Last Name as He Always Had... I remember he was Sitting in a Diaper, Chained to his Bed so as he wouldn't hurt himself... and He begged me to get him out of there! We Laughed and Cried that Day!
Fast Forward 2 years later, I Ran into him and His Mom at a Local Store, I remember hearing his Voice from Further back, and I Left My buggy sitting in the middle of the isle, and Just RAN to Wrap My Arms around him! Almost Landing both us on the Floor, While his Mom Just Laughed...he Looked Amazing! He was Coming up on 2 years Clean... he was So Proud, He Joined a Gym, and Told me He Weighted the same as he did when We Graduated (I Slapped him in Jealousy)...lol I was So Grateful he Got those Two Years! Because that was All he Got! Slowly his Addictions began to Over take him Again, and Well the Results Ended Yesterday!
My Heart Breaks for His Daughter, Mom & Sister, as Just over a Month ago, I Talked to his Mom and She told me to Stop by, now the Regrets of Not making that Happen had Over Taken Me Some, but I'm Starting to Gain Ground! His Services Start Tomorrow...
And Selfishly, I Came here for Comfort... As I Have Often Done, Over the Last 12 Years...
Now the Grief has Doubled In Hearing of the Loss of Our Betty When I Got Here, 12 years ago, She was One of the Very First to Reach out to Me, I Didn't know what Al-Anon even was at that time, and was so Confused and Lost after Just Losing my Dad to alcoholism days before I Found this Place... We had Many Private Chats, and She Truly Helped me Find My Own Sobriety And Gave me Strength to Learn to Love myself, and she Truly Taught Me this Program, and How it Works... And Changes Lives! I don't think I Ever Posted ONE Post, She didn't have even a Few words of Encouragement on! She was So Dedicated to Helping Others, and I've Often Shared in my Home Group Her Wisdom, and Love...
Heartbroken is an Understatement... I remember the First time she talked to me about her Son... My Heart had felt Such Pain for her, yet... Her Understanding of It All just Filled me with Such Hope, and Love...
I'm So Sorry to Hear that She is Not Here! I'm So Sorry I Missed that Final Good Bye But I Do Know the Heavens are a Better Place, Just because she is Amongst the Angels and Back in her Son's Loving Arms Thinking of All that Knew And Loved Her, Because I'm Sure that List is Amazingly Long! And you Can Bet I'm On It... Till We Meet again My Friend... You will Always be a Part of My Saving Grace... RIP Betty AKA "Hotrod"
I can hear your wings flapping on that entry also Jozie...or was that your heart beat. I have learned to turn my grief over to my Higher Power who doesn't hesitate in taking care of it. Love your dropping in and sharing your ESH. ((((Hugs))))
Sorry to hear of your loss, Jozie... and delighted to hear your bitter-sweet memories...
I last saw Betty on a Manhattan Street as I disappeared down into the rabbit warren they call a subway. She was on her way to see a friend. I strongly suspect that this was, or became, her partner and friend. They enjoyed lovely times together. I was one of her facebook friends and shared many events and moments. Her focus in Central Park was Peter Pan, and Wendy; while mine was Strawberry Fields. But that difference was minor. B. drew people toward her, and thereby drew people together... something we see day by day here! ...
(((Jozie))) - sending hugs, much love, prayers and condolences your way! What I found so inspiring is your ability to unconditionally love your friend in spite of life events, disease, etc. This, for me, is what I need to practice always. We do not get advance notice of passing, so living and loving One Day at a Time is such a gift.
Hang in there sweet friend. You're not alone!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Thank you for sharing your beautiful tribute. Your words helped me find words to express my own grief, and in doing so, you carried on the legacy of recovery of your loved ones. Peace to you in this time, Xx