Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene

flower19 · Member

Spons suggests I still go to face to face meetings

Maresie888 · ~*Service Worker*~

I.am not.sure what part of the country you.are in. Social.distancing is the recommendation.at the.moment I know I take a lot of solace in these times from this group. I.have asthma and have had really bad bronchitis in the past. It is best to.err on the side of caution. This virus is incredibly contagious. Glad you are here and taking care of yourself Maresie

a4l · ~*Service Worker*~

We used to have online meetings here...I don't know if we still do? Anyone? My suggestion would be you focus on your recovery not on anything that confuses you. If face to face is not possible, which can and does happen for multiple reasons, then I'd look for alternatives. You don't have to justify that to anyone.

Lyne · ~*Service Worker*~

Hello flower19. One thing alanon has taught me is that I am allowed to be the final authority on ME. I will take suggestions to think about and only I will have the final vote. I think you can be your own boss as I am trying to be.

My F2F is in a church which has closed for the next two weeks. We are going to have a meeting tonight on our phone/computers through Zoom.

There are live meetings on MIP here, and Im sure there are other live meetings online. There are also phone meetings. If you choose to, you can find alternative meetings that meet your needs, including your health needs. Be well, Lyne

Iamhere · ~*Service Worker*~

(((flower19))) - I am reminded always, "To thine own self, be true..."

What I am finding is there is a ton of denial and misinformation about this pandemic. I agree with Lyne - the final authority for self is self. I had chronic bronchitis as a child and have had pneumonia several times in the last 20 years. Per the current criteria, I am NOT considered High Risk yet I am married to a man with Heart Disease who is. My parents are also 85 and high risk for age, setting aside their health issues.

For me, I am choosing social distancing more to do my part and slow the spread (it's coming, how far/wide depends on all of us). I also have no desire to put those I love at risk. Meetings are still happening all over our city and each person decided for themselves. I will say, and I am cranky today because I've been social distancing for longer than recommended that if I had a sponsor who suggested I was dead inside, I'd be finding a different sponsor. That type of down-talk does not mesh with my attitude, program, recovery, spirit, etc.

Take good care of you and make the best decision for you! You are not alone!

serenity47 · ~*Service Worker*~

Your sponsor is not God. You get to decide what is best for you. No one else. And the dead inside comment, sponsors are simply humans whom don't have all the answers and sometimes say things that are out of line. Again, I get to choose whether that is acceptable to me or not. For this gal, it certainly would not be and I would be making my dislike of that statement known. It could be a one off, dumb comment, but if that is a pattern of speaking, I would be sponsor shopping for a new one.

SerenityRUS · ~*Service Worker*~

I'm totally going to suggest do not attend face to face meeting most meetings I am aware of speaking with other alanon members have already been closed down.

There are other options, if you go to the WSO site they have phone in meetings. There are meetings available here. You should have a phone list. I would seriously wonder why my sponsor was pushing for face to face meetings in the middle of a pandemic because that's what this is, (that's me that doesn't mean it's the right answer .. lol).

I would def look at other options other than actual people meetings as great as they are .. it's really not worth your physical or mental health if this is causing a toll.

Hugs S :)

Aloha · ~*Service Worker*~

I'm sorry you're feeling pressured like this. I think I get where your sponsor is coming from, encouraging getting to meetings as I do that with my sponsees, only because I know it WORKS. Also she likely knows more about your story than any of us here do, so perhaps she sees something that she's trying to encourage you to grow past.

HOWEVER, these are special times and there's no way I would tell my sponsees to go to face-to-face meetings if they don't feel safe. Instead I encourage them to use our phone list and reach out to others and at least be of service that way - be a listening ear, or to reason things out with someone else if they're feeling anxious. I know I'm going to need to do that myself!! On top of that get their hands on the literature and read, read, read, and spend time in prayer and meditation.

You are always welcome here, too. And if you check the WSO web site, they have other phone, online, etc. meetings listed that you can check out:

https://al-anon.org/al-anon-meetings/electronic-meetings/

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene