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Post Info TOPIC: Courage to Change 3/14/20


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 2006
Date:
Courage to Change 3/14/20


Good morning, MIP family!

I hope today finds you healthy, and in good spirits!

Today's reading talks about Alcoholics doing 'what alcoholics do.' It uses a parabole of person sitting under a flock of pigeons and then getting angry when they were soiled upon. How dare those pigeons! 

Yes, it sucks to be pooped on (literally). But those were animals that just do what their bodies tell them to do. Alcoholism/Addiction is much the same. It is a progressive disease that does what it does. There is very little value to be had by getting so angry. Temporarily, OK... I mean I would hate to be pooped on too! But the lesson learned there is to not sit under a flock of birds! That lesson is: CHANGE THE BEHAVIOR YOU CAN - YOURS. 

Today's reminder: It's not easy to watch someone I love continue to drink, but I can do nothing to stop them. If I see how unmanageable my life has become, I can admit that I am powerless over this disease. Then I Can really begin to make my life better. 

Today's Quote: "It stands to reason that a change in us will be a force for good that will help the entire family." How can I help my Children

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This was the best lesson I probably learned in AL-Anon. I cannot control another, but I can learn how to control MY behaviors/reactions/responses. It took a very long time (and I must admit physical distance) to really understand and accept that I have zero control over someone's addiction!

It has been raining the past two days and I am going to "hole-in." I hope everyone stays healthy!

&



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PnP - music & nature lover

"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend

"I don't ask for much, I only want Trust... and you know it don't come easy." - Ringo Starr

~~If nothing ever changed, there would be no BUTTERFLIES~~ anonymous



Senior Member

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I am 20 something days out from going back to.my apartment I could make it excruciating or just get on.with it I think I will just get on with it I have to work on making my life better Long term These 20 something days are just a short hiatus I have other issues to contend with Maresie

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~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 982
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PnP, thank you for today's reading. I just love this page. The story about the pigeons tells the truth in a light-hearted way, and the author also does not minimize how hard it is to watch someone continue to drink and to witness the fallout from that.

Lately I have been sitting under a tree where some of the pigeons -- not all of them, but some -- behave in ways that have fallout on my peace of mind. It's a group that I volunteer for that has some internal conflicts that I find painful to witness but cannot fix. So I am exploring ways to protect myself while not abandoning the tree and the pigeons altogether. There was a meeting of this group coming up that I was dreading, and had decided I would not attend. But get this: Higher power had my back -- the meeting has been postponed due to virus precautions! A silver lining for me. I have more time to meditate on how I will cope with this situation.




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~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 10426
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I too love this page! What a great, simple, easy to understand analogy to help me and others understand the powerlessness of trying to change, fix, etc. another. Thank you Skorpi for your service and the daily. I thank those above me also for their shares and ESH.

I am reminded today that the disease is greater than the consumption of mind-altering substances. In spite of my recovery and the great improvements in my family unit, we just don't do 'life' well collectively. Today has been a hugely trying day as it became very obvious that my sweet, geriatric dog, Layla was ready to cross over. It's been an incredibly sad, tough day for me and all of us - yet ... we all 'beat a different drum'.

My AH waits until we arrive to tell me he's not staying in the room. Well - I really wasn't prepared to do 'it' alone yet ... here we are. I tried all day long to reach my son who adopted Layla with me, and he doesn't respond until after we've taken her in. He's sad, which in the disease of 'isms' means it comes out as mad. I am grateful that in spite of my own extreme grief, I still know I am powerless and can't change anybody else's actions, reactions, emotions, words, etc.

It's easy at times like this to project some common ground as we all loved Layla deeply. Yet, I know in my heart and my mind that we all are different and grieve different. I'm grateful to have many adopted family members (dear friends) who know my heart, my grief and my needs.

I am doing what I can today to just not sit under any trees for very long - there are many kinds of birds that make their home there! I find great comfort today in believing that Layla has found her best friend who passed in the fall as well as my Golden girl cousin, Betty and all others who've left this place for the next. Love and light to all....

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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene

 

 



~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 2085
Date:

Thanks Iam and y'all...

                                    I am wanting to pass on the programme, and still wondering what to say... you know- I suppose I know the answers by now- but it is knowing the way of presenting it.

Odat, C2C and HFT do this for me, along with other members- so it does become a combined effort!

smile... aww ...



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Participation is the key to harmony.

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