The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have been reading the many tributes to Betty and thinking about all of the lives she touched so profoundly. How better to understand the power of this program than to know that many of us did not ever meet Betty in person but she most definitely helped us in our journeys.
Todays reading is about some of the weapons that may be used by an active alcoholic in order to create reasons to drink. Often this includes provoking anxiety or anger in those of us who love them. The writer describes coming to the realization that the phrase take offense can be part of the solution. Why would we prefer to take offense by the behavior of our A, feeling hurt or sad, if instead we could take joy and serenity from the tools of this program? The writer goes on to describe that once she stopped acting on hurt feelings, or in reaction to the A, she no longer played into the illness.
I have been thinking about our part in the alcoholics sickness. Or I should say- OUR sickness as it works alongside the sickness of the alcoholic. I have many many hours of anxiety, resentment, sadness and anger that I logged while in the grips of my sickness. I cant get those hours back and they did not affect the behavior of my A in the slightest. The greatest change that occurred for me was when I started to attend meetings, bear witness to others, and began working a program.
The thought for today gives such a great reminder: if we detach from someone who is physically sick we protect ourselves from that sickness. When we emotionally detach from alcoholism we protect ourselves from anger and anxiety, and all the other symptoms of our own sickness.
Good morning Mary and Happy Sunday! Thank you for your service, the daily and your ESH. Today's reading aligns with my Sunday message from Joel O. - which is a repeat yet one of my favorites - finding and keeping your joy! No matter what anyone is doing, not doing, saying, not saying, etc. I am given a choice each day to let it go or let it fester.
Today, I chose to let go and Let God. I have had to practice detaching and forgiveness simply because the alternative stands between me and the God of my understanding. I have no doubt that my creator wants me happy, joyous and free so that's the path I choose. I have spent so much of my life in a 'ready state' to defend myself, my thoughts, my ideas, my values, my WILL and today, instead, I prefer to live life like a 'loose garment' and stay present. This allows me to make healthy choices as my day unfolds.
I am off to a meeting shortly where we will not be hugging or holding hands today (Corona has arrived). Those who want to will/can and those who prefer not to will/can. After the meeting, I'm headed to golf - our last lovely weather day for a few! Find and keep your joy MIP family - love and light to all!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I must say I was kind of shocked at the level of calm that was my life after I left the Ex. He continued to drink for a few months, then sought help with rehab. I continued to work on me and learn about Addiction. Creating chaos is just what this disease does. Period. That in turn makes us react. A year and a half since divorce was final, and Ex is off the rails and drinking again. I am thankful I do not get to be a part of that, and my program is helping to quiet the anxiety I have about not getting my alimony payment. I am trusting my HP has got my back with that, while I manage to pay what debts I have. Funny, I had so many physical symptoms in the past that are now just gone! Amazing!
Going to get the last of the Sweet Pea seeds in the ground before our week of rain gets here! Iamhere - I hope you enjoy your new volunteer position!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Having these readings and shares has been a real boon for me. I means I am still reading and absorbing ODAT, C2C and H4Today on a regular basis.
A lot of my early and middle years I was in a fog, a funk, also called numbing or dissociation. So a lot of the readings and information flew in one ear, and out the other!
The key turning point in my life was about a dover statement my AF once said to me. Standing in the doorway of our shack he said: "No wonder i have to go to the pub- just look at this bl***** place!"
So I would rush round, like a fly in a bottle trying to fix it- so he would decide to stay at home! ...
Finding answers fo this to time. A lot more un-learning than learning sometimes! To clear that fog and that funk.
Ultimate goal- was to be a good example of Alanon and to be able to pass it on.
I am still attempting to process the anger bit. Taking a little time to do this. I am not consumed by anger now. Bristly, or retreating, and sometime both.
Ah am seeing got in others- which is a good sign... that i will soon recognise it in myself. ...
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Thanks Mary, and y'all... 
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