I'm sitting here feeling pretty grateful today.  I have no voice, and can barely be heard by a whisper.  This coming after having surgery two weeks ago on an abscess that grew to the size of what my daughter said was a bowling ball.  Saw the surgeon post-op today and although he says it's looking pretty good, we still have a good month or so of healing to do and another round of antibiotics to get through.  Yet, it has been an awesome loving experience.  I am rich in family, friends and spirit, who can ask for more than that?  Through our program I have been able to remain detached from the fear of being sick and unable to work.  I chose to "sit back" and allow my higher power free rein to handle my "problems".  He sent many angels my way.  I received funds from three different areas and received groceries from two others. Just the right amount to keep us going.  My bf and children have pitched in and have been wonderful.  Again, blessed today that I have a bf that can handle this type of situation and not panic.  One of my sponsees asked if my bf took a hike or stuck around.  Shows how we are use to being treated.  My ex a had a habit of ignoring the fact that I would be sick and just go fishing... alot.    I've been back to work on a very slow pace but am amazed again that what I've been given to do, I have been able to accomplish.  Also, for the first time in many years, I was able to listen to the music on Easter Sunday morning.  Have no voice, so I couldn't sing and therefore couldn't serve as music minister for the past couple of weeks.  It was really special to be able to hear the congregation sing.... I felt like I was being sang to.  There is a play that I have a large part in dated for the weekend of Mother's Day.  I don't know that I will be able to participate and am content with that posibility.  How different this feeling is than the one I carried for so many years.  Course now I'm getting teased by a few fellow al-anoners.  I was asked to speak on the topic of Sexual Intimacy on May 20th.  Now we just have to see if we have a voice by then.  The teasers are three guy's we talked into doing a panel discussion of the same topic the week after my share.  I got to tease back though.  For being guys, they are really sweating bullets about doing their share on this topic.  I will have to let you know how it goes. 

This is the first I've been focused enough to post in a few weeks.  It feels good to have some energy back again.  This has just reminded me that most of our everyday stuff is just that, stuff.  When we face these bigger obstacles, it's good to know that by keeping it a day at a time with the normal things, I can still chose to do that with the bigger things.

Cilla

Never mistake knowledge for wisdom. One helps you make a living, the other helps you make a life.