The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am sick this morning (not with COVID-19) and just couldn't wake up earlier.
The reading today talks about having faith that your Higher Power (whomever/whatever you choose that to be) has got your back. It talks about if you are having doubts, try this mantra:
"Everything I need shall be provided for me today. Everything."
It goes onto say that if we ask, trust and believe our needs will be met... our needs will be met. Sometimes it can help us greatly to know our wants and needs. Other times, it is wise to just trust that your HP has got this!
For me, I find it very important that the mantra has two elements: the word NEED and the word TODAY.
I was raised with a faith that drilled it into you that you pray and ask, and you shall receive. Simple, right? So I grew up with the thought that the things I want I just ask God, and then I get them. I became severely angry at God when the things of most importance were denied me. Why? Wasn't I good enough? Didn't I do all the right things for your blessings?
I have come to learn that my Higher Power is unique to me. I have also come to understand the difference between WANTS and NEEDS. I have also learned through program to live Just For Today. Grab TODAY for what it has to offer. In doing so, I am finding that my faith in a power greater than myself is being restored. Just in a more pragmatic, mature way.
Wishing you all a happy weekend. I am off to have some tea and TLC.
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
I am down to 31 days before I go back to my apartment. I know Inam going to be incredibly busy but I am real real tired of living out of a suitcase
I am also really tired of the person I am staying with. His narcissism is incredible
Meantime I am struggling financially
Hey whatever in 31 days I will be onto a different chapter.
I just have to get through the 31 days without getting sick of him
Maresie
Thank you PnP for your service, the daily and your ESH! I can never have enough reminders that what truly matters is today, this day, the present moment. I also love being reminded that I do truly have all that I need, thanks to the practice, practice, practice of trusting a power greater than I.
Living in the past does me no good. Projecting about the future does me no good. Finding my joy in the present, focusing on what's good in my life and continuing to be open for growth, change and learning in this moment keep me grounded and centered.
I am grateful for recovery, MIP and all that's come to my life by being open. Spring has sprung around my small part of the world and I got to dig in the dirt this morning for a while. I am not sure why but digging in the dirt, with the smells and glorious anticipation of sprung growth and flowers is just so darn uplifting and joyful! I went out earlier and purchased some lovely steaks - our first grilling day of the year! If I had projected forward to this age/stage BR (Before Recovery), I could never, ever have anticipated the many gifts and joys I have/received. It was so much easier, out of habit and insanity, to project gloom/doom.
Enjoy the day in a way that matters to you! I'm having a day of chores and rest - golfing tomorrow all day with my husband and a nephew. Next week brings some changes my way - I begin a volunteer position at a new golf club! I'm excited to learn more and take advantage of free green fees, free golf lessons and tons more .5 miles from home. The Country Club is nice - it's a bit more of a drive so this gives me more 'access' to continue learning the game and a whole new group of golfers to bond with.
Love and light MIP family! (((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I think when I have been around alcoholics in the past I have been realky numb
3 years ago I lived with this friend for approximately a year. I didnt feel as uncomfortable around him then as I do now. That is because I spent all the time reacting to him
I was in rebound all the time
Now it is like dealing with a completely different person
I was without so.much awareness before
Quite a few years ago I made a trip to visit my family. Across the board I found their homes enormously uncomfortable. In fact I retreated to a hotel
I really had no.idea I would find my friends house enormously uncomfortable. After all I lived here more than once
For me now that is one of the hallmarks if addiction this sense of extreme discomfort
It is not going to kill me to be here for another 30 days but Inam going to look for that hallmark in the future
My dog who is the reason I chose to stay here temporarily is perfectly happy. Although he is pretty anxious.
My decision making is still way off on so.many levels and I am going to have to.work on it. I did not have enough choices when it came to where Incould go in the event of this work on my aosrtment
Now I.have to have better decisions
Maresie
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