The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I have a lot of "self" work including finishing saying good morning here to my family. I still have Betty on my mind too. I have personal improvement tasks also which includes program and other which are necessary for my age of 77. I have been using the VA to help me inventory and tune up my systems. Yesterday it was MRI...very NOISY...and throat xray to take care of some of their concerns (I don't know their concerns hmmmm). My wife transports me here and there because I am not in favor with the government mainly because I am a foreign national and they don't like it...me...it...whatever!! In time they and me will take care of stuff while I employ the tools of our program. Mahalo Akua...Thank you God!!
I have a lot of medical appoint mb ents coming up in.May
Today I have a tooth extraction which is so overdue. My dental work saga has to begin in May as well.
Once I get back in my apartment I will get my bearings
Thinking of you through all the tedium fir these tests
Maresie
Okay we will make that mutual care. I know I have dental coming also and want to decide what system...It's a Higher Power decision soooo I'll let go and let God and the dentist. (((((hugs)))))
(((Jerry))) - I have total faith that you with your HP will get through 'all this'....I am amazed that a standard 'physical' tends to create more appointments - they tend to multiply - I find it frustrating that we can't have a 'one-stop-shop' instead of specialists depending upon referrals. Self-care can be hard work when it comes to formal medical preventative services!!!
I too have Betty on my mind. While I miss her deeply and dearly, I am very grateful her potential pain and suffering was short-lived, like my cousin. I have 2 other friends currently being treated for cancer and the chemo and more is 'not for the weak/weary'! I take great comfort in believing that she was called to a higher form of service well beyond what we could guess/know. I have added her partner and her sister to my prayers for comfort and strength during their grieving.
Sending you huge (((hugs))), love and light my brother! I hope that you're doing well adjusting to the mainland and it's truly OK if you are pining for your native place! Your HP has you in his hands and is leading you where you need to go/grow!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thanks for the good wishes and love sis. That caused me to be reminded that this evening when my wife was on her way to the kitchen and asked me if there was something she could get me my mouth said no thanks and my head said, "how about a beer". I was disgusted that it even found a way to my mind and while the though quickly died I had to remember so very much including the definition of Alcoholism I was asked to read at this mornings meeting. I am grateful that some of the language I am reading from another source includes the belief in/of a Power greater than ourselves and that in the dialogue of the TV program "Mom" this evening was a very very good presentation of our program Al-Anon, the disease and recovery being worked. I don't know if anyone else has seen this or remembers seen it but I was amazed and gratified and fulfilled. I believed not only was it done soooo well but also on purpose.
I miss my national home but am glad my Higher Power over steps boundaries. Love you ((((hugs))))
Love you too Brother! I religiously watch Mom - it's 30 minutes of smiling, laughter and recovery rolled into a lesson - certainly worth it for me when it's on.
Your share reminds me how powerless we really are and how the disease works. We can be sailing along, working the program, following suggestions, embracing HP/surrendering and YET - the darn disease waits and sends 'silly alcoholic thoughts' to the front of the mind. It is, for me, the insanity of the disease and the reminder of the power it has for those of us with the allergy.
We often remind folks at meetings that the disease is 'in the parking lot doing push-ups' waiting. I have had that type of thinking response happen in times of great pain and in times of great joy. I just need to follow up those moments with my reminder of where I came from vs. where I am today!
I have decided that my brain is like a filing cabinet system. Everything is in there some where; I just need to find the right file. Some of my files are automated so I can do a quick search like a computer and others are not - so I have to dig a bit and possible shuffle some things around. In spite of 32 years without mind-altering substances, I keep that file right next to my ear - so I can recall it often/as needed.
Today I celebrate Betty in the most positive way possible. While I miss her greatly, I am choosing to cherish her journey here and all that she showed and taught me. Love and light Brother - sending tons of (((hugs))), positive energy and prayers!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I have had a bottle of gin in my cupboard for a while. I am not an alcoholic but I often think I will take a drink
I do not think it is that crazy to have it in the tip of your tongue
I am so impressed you would move to be with your wife
I am sure she appreciates that incredible effort
Maresie
Maresie I have often wished I could and would think and feel that freedom of being unaffected of mind and mood altering chemicals and then my past and my families past with our addictions cannot ever again be overlooked. Then too I denied and diminished the truth and consequences of what it often or always did to me/us. Our/my justification for boozing was because we/I could nothing more or less. It was permissible, I was and we were and so we did with only one caveat, that being don't get drunk and if you do don't do anything wrong. But then as I learn about my isms I am a risk taker and taking the cap off of the bottle or popping the snap on a can was the usual and habitual risk I took. Every time I drank regardless of recent history I repeated the outcome which wasn't only getting drunk; there was much more that came with it.
I've done 6 4th steps each one more complete than the one before. I located the alcoholic ego within and had to accept total powerlessness because I drank the way I did because I believed fully that "I could". My sponsor Don.T taught me the power of "opposites" or when I found that what I was doing was causing me the loss of peace of mind and serenity and sobriety and such to do the opposite of it and regain what I was loosing. He impressed upon me that the acronym of EGO was OGE or Offering God Entry and I accepted then and still do now accept it as true and how I should live. Alcoholism isn't a sin. I have a compulsion of the mind and an allergy of the body just as each and every alcoholic in my family and those I also know.
Our disease cannot be cured. It can only be arrested by total abstinence. My wife would not have brought me anything with alcohol in it which is how she practices her program and hopes I do also.
As I am here reminds me....This disease is patient; very patient. It hasn't killed me yet and knows there are so many others I can teach how to if I just join up with it again; East God Out and have just one.
That bottle of gin in your pantry is talking with me like the one before it in another pantry that took me days before it went down the drain with an argument. If I was drinking my current wife would be another ex-wife. Thank you for your support. ((((hugs))))
