Good morning MIP.  Today's reading discusses unacceptable behavior, as the writer recalls hearing, "We don't have to accept unacceptable behavior" early on in recovery.  This concept helped the writer see that the did not have to tolerate violence or abuse, and they always had choices - some never previously considered.

The author worked to set limits, not to control others, but to offer herself guidelines to help determine what was and was not acceptable and what to do about it.  A couple years later, while congratulating herself on a job well done, the writer realizes there was one person remaining that offered unacceptable behavior at times.  That one was herself, complete with negative self-talk, self blame, and the like.

The realization that unless/until she started treating herself like a valued friend, she would be standing in the way of her own recovery.

Reminder:  I have been affected by a disease of attitudes.  When I treat myself with love and approval, I know that I am recovering.

Quote from The Upanishads:  "Let one therefore keep the mind pure, for what a man thinks, that he becomes."

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I really like this page as it always reminds me that boundaries are for self-protection/preservation and not for punishing others.  Each time I read it, something different speaks to me and I continue to learn.  Two great reminders for me, just for today, include concrete examples of unacceptable behavior - violence or abuse and the concept of and boundaries being guidelines vs. hard and fast 'rules'.

In my own journey, it was easy in the beginning to just avoid troubling people, places and things.  After all, recovery gave me choices to not show up for difficult events with others or to just leave when I felt uncomfortable.  This worked for me until it didn't, and I realized I had chosen to leave some social situations because one person out of many made me feel uncomfortable.  Thus, I explored other tools to grow and adapt and change so I could stop giving my power away!  It took me a long while to realize my own attitudes, beliefs, etc. were still narrow and measured, causing me to miss out on some lovely experiences with many over the actions of one single person or thing.

Each time I find myself bothered by other people, places and things, I get to revisit my boundaries and attitudes.  Each time, I find myself starting the 'search' outside of myself only to be redirected to look within.  Like the author, I see a pattern of analysis that can include some negative self-analysis.  My sponsor reminds me that there's a big difference between an inventory where we look for patterns to change, grow and improve and negative self-talk.  One is living in the solution while the other is living in the problem.

I am grateful today to accept progress vs. perfection.  I am grateful today to accept the humanism of me and all others.  I am grateful to accept there is a difference between my expectations and those of others and I am grateful for the gift of humility.  Gratitude and asset lists help me to see that even when I perceive things are 'bad', often things are good and my attitude/outlook is what needs improving!

Happy Thursday MIP.  It's very, very cold here today so looking forward to staying close to home and hibernating!  Make it a lovely day!