The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
...starters... my mum used to say- get up off your backside and do something! {and I thought reading, was doing something. "Rattle your dags!" Or, "get a wriggle on".
I was called a lazy little B#####r most than once. I thought was was lazy- but looking back I worked pretty hard. I was on welfare 3 or 4 times- in my 20's... between jobs... and I counted- i went to university four times and passed once!
Oldest grandson turns 17 tomorrow. He has a girlfriend... and they have been seen out cycling together...
...sometimes i talk a bit like a cowboy with Y'alls and that thrown in. I actually live in a leafy suburb, and am reasonably well off now. Worked really hard for this. So long as the world economy holds up we should be able to retire comfortably.
My SO has stopped gaslighting me. It seemed that she picked up where my AF left off. I know i was vulnerable- very vulnerable. This was horrible.
In 1954, when I was very young we had a huge gold dredge over in the river- working night and day. When i was 3 or 4 it was being broken up and sent to Malaysia- for tin mining.
It was a load graunchy thing- about four stories high. But when it stopped moving the whole district found it very hard to get to sleep!
I suppose I feel the same way about the gaslighting. The quiet is still taking a bit of getting used to!
I am not sure what i set out to write here. Here is a luxury... ...Because i have a ~go to~ place if I need help- I don't really feel that I actually need help.
I went to meetings once in Rapid City- in a northern state. One was at the school of mines. T'other was at the AA clubhouse in town- where Alanon had its own room. There was a strong Lakota influence there, which I enjoyed.
Increasingly I go to fewer meetings... I leave the service side up to younger people- if ah can... ah do believe in passing things on.
I am renovating a water tank, at the moment- designed to provide drinking water for my ewes down on the coast... ...these days I am into goal-setting... and I am hoping to have the property down there fully renovated in three years- give or take a few months...
...going there next week. Tenting at the moment- while the weather is still fine...
Wow... all I can keep thinking is... what a blessing that you could attend University four times!!! Pretty much unheard of here in the States... too much debt, too much competition.
I am glad you are learning to live without the "noise" of gaslighting.
As always, thanks for sharing your world!
__________________
"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
It costs today to attend university, in NZ... I lost my mojo at age 8, and again at age 17. So actual learning, and getting a desk job, was not really an option- but I tried...
Today, I am doing a lot of stuff- both inside and outside of Alanon. And throughout life I have slowly caught up on Serenity, Emotional Sobriety, Maturity, and Emotional Intimacy... which i regard as all being the same thing!
Most people would sit at home- or sit with a sponsor to do this stuff, I suppose. ???
Yes Bo... I am going with the passing of Betty, at the moment- one day at a time... ...it is morning of the 3rd over here... and the beginning of Autumn... [Fall]...
I never held back going to meetings- but they were always weekly. Small numbers- so shares, when we had them, could be 10 or 12 minutes long. One local group always read through the Steps, traditions, concepts and 4 warranties- which always irked me a little.
My theme in recent months has been "claiming space". Having no time limit on shares; but also making them relevant. Relevant to myself; and maybe for two other people, maybe.
...thanks so much for the chance to share... 