The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Todays reading is the analogy of serious thinking (going into our heads) with traveling into a neighborhood. Its been said that our minds can be dangerous neighborhoods to travel into alone. The writer acknowledges that it isnt always possible to talk it through with another person in the program, and that sometimes even making a connection with our HP is difficult. He/she suggests three ways to help when its necessary for deep thinking: a reminder that the thoughts have been dealt with before, the idea of making a gratitude list beginning with the essentials of food, clothing and shelter, and a meditation to HP.
I have noticed that when my thoughts get moving in such a way that I am chasing them around my head, giving myself some tangible things to hook onto is helpful. Making lists of things that need to be done- the more mundane the better, so that I can check things off- is very satisfying. Getting outside into some fresh air is always helpful as well. I have found a lot of comfort and calming down in the repetition of prayers, words, lyrics of songs. The analogy above about our minds having the potential to be dangerous neighborhoods never felt exactly right for me- what I have thought about is a neighborhood to get lost in, having difficulty finding my way out of it. Concrete words, actions, even chores- help me when I am feeling this way. Having several books with daily messages/meditations has been an invaluable way to stay grounded as well.
Mary - thank you for being a part of my Sunday ritual! I so appreciate your service!
There have been times when I could not lean on the support of my sponsor... or even this forum (even though it is always available). That is when I have also felt the power of "Doing the Next Right Thing." That usually involved going through my List as well. I also feel a certain satisfaction about checking off the things on my list - no matter how scattered my thoughts seem that day! I think this works for me b/c I am a "Do-er." And there are many things in our worlds that we just don't have control of... so seeing that List whittle down really works! My
I have recently had a revelation about me: I have always been a "hummer." I love to sing. Not that I have a fantastic voice or anything, but music has always been a huge part/influence in my life. Most people who work with me have thought that I was always "in a good mood" b/c I hum (or sing when I think no one is listening! ). Well, that hasn't always been the case. I hum/sing when I am happy AND when I am sad! I have finally figured out it is my own way of keeping the circling thoughts of Fear/Unknown from taking over my thoughts! If I really examine it, I think I hum more when I am sad than when I am happy. Your post today Mary has just confirmed that newly formed revelation for me!! I guess it's my coping mechanism... good thing I can carry a tune!
Today my list includes maintenance of my multiple fish tanks! Off to play in the water! LOL!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
This is a good topic for ne .
I have good news and bad news on the horizon. I have to wait both of them out .
I am not a patient person.
Managing my triggers is so key
But then of course the triggers change
It isnt exactly hard times but reL challenging times .
I am away from my home .
I dont know that I prepared psychologically for being away from home .
I have to work really hard just to stay with the big picture..And the bug picture is not all bad .
Maresie
Thanks for your service (((Mary)) I appreciated the reminder of a few tools that I've been neglecting particularly gratitude lists. I am going to make one today and am sure I'll be surprised by the date of my last entry in my gratitude journal. I also like to make lists like you, PNP of things to get done and busy myself and crossed them off as I get them done. What's changed for me today is the pass/fail mentality I had concerning the amount I accomplished. This had it's roots in perfectionism. Although this can be an expectation in a workplace, for me, personally it's an enemy when applied in my personal life. Early on, doing something fun was the reward for getting tasks done. I don't put that kind of pressure on myself today. Sometimes the best release for stinking thinking for me can be choosing an act of self love that truly means letting go. Today, I can enjoy today without "shoulding" on myself. Such activities take me out of that negative thinking place and bring me closer to my hp. Sometimes solutions for problems dawn on me at these times. I'm in a more positive place and more light can get in so to speak. I'm more available to H.O.P.E. having other possibilities emerge. In such a place of openness, I can listen and brainstorm with my hp. The feelings of fear, worry, hopelessness are quieted by this connection. In this place, I find I feel sane and freed from chaotic thinking which only keeps me stuck. I've hit refresh and with a new and more balanced focus, I accept my life as it currently is with gratitude and not fear change or changing. Negative thoughts are simply negative thoughts. I can note them but needn't be pulled down by them. At the worst of times using the word STOP or GOD has been a good refocusing tool for me. TT
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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
Pacing myself is a good tool. I read today that if you do not schedule rest for yourself your body will do it for you
January was a nightmare for me with the virus I caught.
Of course I could have made many better choices for the move out I.had to do.
My move out was still very very stressful. I do not want the move in to the same way.
I went into overwhelm once I got sick then of course no one offered any help
This morning I.was dealing with a woman who.is very sick. (She is actually in hospice) I went out to buy her a drink she asked for. Keep in mind I di not know her I just know she is sick. If one person had done that for me it would have been so helpful
The man who i.am staying with heard me coughing and spluttering. Did he offer to help?
Nope
I am not that kind of person
For whatever reason this woman has opted to stay home when she is sick. It isnt that much to offer to go get her a drink when I can see she is unwell
What is ten minutes of my time.
I am paying my friend to stay at his house he can't give me ten minutes when Inam very sick. I have one month more I have to pay him after this one after that I will be working hard to get out of his way
I am done dealing with people who cannot even make small gestures to another. There is some pattern I have to always be around hugely self absorbed people like this. The pattern is mine not his but it is time to say goodbye to it
Happy Sunday MIP! Thank you Mary for your service. Thanks to all above me for your shares and ESH. I no longer have any interest in my crazy racing mind 'doing it's own thing'. I've practiced the tools offered for a few 24 hours and just know that my first thought is not always my best thought...meaning, I can pause and pray before I proceed. So, so often that pause and pray is magical and when I struggle to pause my mind, music, meditation and repeated slogans/prayers are very helpful!
I know now that haste does not make waste when it comes to my serenity, peace, sanity and recovery. I am also not a patient person, so each/every time I am faced with life events, which require patience and unknown outcomes, I have been taught by my sponsor to thank my HP for the opportunity to grow/change.
Nature, my sweet dog, and music really help ground me if I can't find a live body! In the middle of the night, literature is also helpful. May you all enjoy this day - the sun is shining here and the snow is melting...golf course did not open today, but I did get to my morning meeting and took a relative along who called last night. (((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
). Well, that hasn't always been the case. I hum/sing when I am happy AND when I am sad! I have finally figured out it is my own way of keeping the circling thoughts of Fear/Unknown from taking over my thoughts! If I really examine it, I think I hum more when I am sad than when I am happy. Your post today Mary has just confirmed that newly formed revelation for me!! I guess it's my coping mechanism... good thing I can carry a tune! 
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