The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's reading talks about finding a sense of ourselves. Do I know myself only in the image that others have made for me?
"If we lack a sense of ourselves as people changing, on the move, in a process of growth, then it is easy to let ourselves become fixed, defined, static, lifeless. Other people will always be happy to do the work of defining us if we are unwilling to find out who we are ourselves. Of course we need to be seen and noticed and valued by others - but not at the expense of ourselves. We must dare to be. We must take the risk of creating ourselves and get to know and like ourselves - this strange and wonderful creature."
Just for today, I am going to dare to be myself and welcome change and growth.
This reminds me of Step 4. And it doesn't even pertain to my first Step 4! Only by delving deep within myself... understanding what I wanted, needed... coming to terms with the good, the bad, and the ugly (so to speak) did I begin to accept that I hadn't been living my authentic life! I was always wearing one of my "hats" that defined me to some role where I had to "Do."
What a relief it was to take off some of those hats! To understand that it was "OK" to do so! Oftentimes you hear in the rooms that Step 4 is like peeling back and onion. There are all those darn layers!!
Yes. We are exactly like that.
And isn't it wonderful!!
Make it a great Saturday, MIP Family!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
In recent times I have been wondering- if we peel away every level of the onion- what will be left- at the end!
I sought to people please and to work hard- I suppose so I would be noticed, and honoured. This did not happen much, if at all, so I just wound up and maybe burned out. Our families ought to be a source of support, food and clothes- and a roof. This was limited, in my world. So maybe it was fear of abandonment- that was a major driver for me?
So maybe those peels of onion were expectations- others like parents and family might have had. The car, girlfriend and the white picket fence. Which did not work out for me.
There was, and is, no new me. The real me was always here!
Thank you PnP for your service and the daily! Thanks to you and David for your shares and ESH. Happy Saturday MIP.
All I know is I am a work in progress, and will always be and have always been. That which I value today is vastly different than what I valued when younger, and if I remain open, I expect that will change more as I continue my journey. My life is as simple as possible, my days are easy and I do not add more than desired. I genuinely love keeping things easy going, easy flowing and staying present.
Being authentic allows me to skip an event today that others believe I 'need' to be at. While my presence would be expected, I'm instead taking care of me and then heading to visit a friend in the hospital who's having unexpected surgery today. She lives alone, has no family near-by and it feels like the right place to be, just for today. I am no longer pulled to what others expect of me, instead focused on how best I can serve today.
I am grateful to just be me, perfectly imperfect, not all-knowing, open to change, and guided by a power greater than I! So much more comfortable in my skin since I've been able to retire from the egotistical, know-it-all, gotta be right and get the last word in gal of before. I seriously would rather be happy any day than be right.
Love and Light MIP family - find and keep your joy! I truly believe the best gift I've ever gotten was the priceless gift of recovery, serenity and humility which has come to me by working this program, for me, one day at a time. (((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thanks PNP for your service and for all above shares. This is a topic close to my head and heart. For many years I had no self and was at the mercy of what others thought about me, and how they treated me. These days thanks to program, I am a work in progress, and I have come to love and respect myself while accepting my character defects. I do see them and work on them. I ask HP to remove them daily.
A couple years ago I could not attend my sis-in-laws 65th birthday. I had a commitment with my aging mom and my back could not handle doing both. It took my sis in law about a year to get over it. It bothered me, but I would do it again. I did what was best for me. Grateful member, Lyne
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