Al-Anon Family Group

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Post Info TOPIC: Step 12... gossip and criticism...

~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1991
Step 12... gossip and criticism...

Hi y'all,

            I have just been in a deep and intense family situation with my cousins and extended family.

I realise that Alanon has taught me good boundaries- "...let there be no gossip or criticism of each other... " ... ... 

Chinese whispers can kill a family- lies and half truths. Even truths, if they are used in a mean or callous way.

I was thinking this morning how i deal with this in Alanon. If I know a member in common, say, Margaret X...

we do ask after here, and talk about her- sometimes- in a general sort of way. Like- how is M, getting on.

Then there is that arena- where we might have hear M. sharing which is a no go zone. If there is any stuff

needing discussed there it is absolutely with M. herself. A great test.

In my middle years in Alanon I was afraid to mention or discuss anything- in case I got something wrong.

Most likely a hangover from my FOO. Now I know the programme fairly well I am much more relaxed. Today I have a good idea about where the boundaries lie

But when push comes to shove- it is in the meetings, be they online or F2F. And I have the right to be wrong sometimes, and can take a hold of Step 10.

It is fairly easy to discern, these days where the boundaries are, and the freedom and pleasure we can experience within these, in my view.

I have a key cousin to whom I am close- and we are getting closer... that golden territory of emotional intimacy. Trust and respect.

Love too, most assuredly... aww...

...aww... Thanks for the share. 


One day at a time.

~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 17200

((David)) you are going in the right direction




~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1483

Hi David-Gossip and criticism=bah, humbug! Learning good boundaries, go team go! Life lessons for all of us that take practice. Progress, not perfection for me. Lyne



~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1933

David, I love reading about your journey of healing!



PnP - music & nature lover

"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend

"I don't ask for much, I only want Trust... and you know it don't come easy." - Ringo Starr

~~If nothing ever changed, there would be no BUTTERFLIES~~ anonymous

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