The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Todays reading begins with a reflection on the suggested welcome that includes ...in Al-Anon we discover that no situation is really hopeless. The reader describes feeling a bit taken aback by this; in his/her experience there definitely were situations that were hopeless! The writer goes on to write that consistency in meetings, using the slogans, working the steps, all helped the writer see that if we (the people IN the situations) are willing to make changes in our attitudes, there is hope for the situations to change as well.
As I was reading this I remembered a woman from a meeting I used to attend regularly. She might as well have had a light around her- she would share, sometimes about a situations that seemed quite dark, but she always exuded positivity, light and hopefulness. It was the early days of the program for me. I felt that her words and what she was describing didnt match with the positivity she put forth. All I knew was, I wanted to be around that energy and she was a big reason that I kept showing up at meetings.
Recently I have been working through slogans with my sponsor and have been reflecting on Listen and Learn. Listening has been a learning experience for me, as I am the youngest of six and came from a family who played Whoever Is Loudest Wins. To bring it back to meetings, in the early days all I was capable of was sitting and listening, and Im grateful for it. I do believe that there is hope in any situation, if we are willing to listen, look at our part, and make changes within if appropriate.
I hope everyone has a positive and hopeful start of the New Year :)
Good morning Mary - Happy Sunday and Happy New Year to you too. Thank you for your service and your ESH. I came to Al-Anon very broken and hopeless. I did not see a way for my life, my family, my anxiety, etc. to improve and really had huge doubts about recovery (for me). I was closed off, full of resistance and just angry I had to come!
I attended one meeting in this 'state' and left with righteous indignation! I really had no intention of returning, and went 'back' to try and change, control, manage some more. It was not a successful experience, I returned to Al-Anon after hitting a bottom - leaving me even more hopeless! What did change, for a reason well beyond my own power and comprehension is I became willing to open my mind to suggestions. It was very hard for me to listen and focus as I had tons of racing thoughts, yet I tried and practiced listening with an open mind and looking for similarities vs. differences.
Things did not improve for a long while, but just showing up with an open mind allowed a small amount of hope for me, based on the ESH of others. I truly left my second meeting with a very small amount of 'pep in my step'. I returned, and kept coming back and alas - today, I have hope! I have a very different life and while far from perfect, things have improved significantly. I know now that whether my A(s) recover or not, I can have joy, serenity and hope.
Enjoy your day! I am planning to golf but there's a change we will bail as the wind-chill is going to keep things feeling way colder than desired. Find and keep your joy MIP family...(((Hugs))) to all!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Good Morning Mary and Happy New year MIP I know when i entered program, many years ago i was filled with great darkness and listening at meetings, using thr slogans and pronciples i was given great hope . my lofe did not develop in the direction I had planned but the courage and wisdom to live life ODAT was a TRUE GIFT THnka for your service Stay Warm
Good morning, Mary! Nice to see your smiling face... I hope the New Year is treating you well! I hope that you are bringing this positivity into your classroom as well!
I really liked your share about the lady that exuded light. I too, have met a similar person in F2F meetings. I always wondered how could that be when many of her shares were so dark & hopeless. I have found, like Iamhere and Betty, that I had to work at having that light/hope around me. Al-Anon helps me to remember that I have a choice in the matter. Keeping an Attitude of Gratitude helps me to keep and nurture my light!
I have lots of errands to perform before the afternoon, as my butt will be in front of the TV!
My favorite NFL team is in the playoffs, and I WILL be sporting my jersey and rooting them on!!
&
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Mary, Betty, P, and Iam... Thanks for your service, y'all...
I see the need for rituals and routines, in Alanon and familiarity- and reading from the manual achieves this. Wherever I go some of the elements are present. I chaired the last meeting I went to- and after the opening I asked the group what format they preferred. In our valleys the chair has some discretion around how the meeting is run. [If there is a new member present- we have what we call a Step One meeting]. There was only three of us there- and one member said she could fill in a lot of the time with ESH. So we read out the 12 Steps, and I called for the dailynreading from Courage to Change.
If there are group issues I revert to "I" statements. There are no real issues in this group here- MIP but this is a good time of the year for members to ask questions- raise queries. I think the key is to be listened to!
I try not to be a controller; but at the same time I want to be an effective group member. I find myself starting sentences with "I think" and "I believe".
There is no distinction here, between being a parent, partner of child of an alcoholic, or alcoholics. It seems seamless to me. And our relationship with AA seems seamless too.
For me, at least it looks like practising emotional sobriety, emotional maturity and emotional intimacy, in a place there there is very safe and neutral ground. Where we are all equals... ...
Last year I talked with Hotrod- about what a business meeting is, and what a conscience meeting is. Maybe, I thought, they meant different things in different places. The application, for me was in my communities, around here, and what is likely toward best for us.
And this is my community too, MIP Alanon- just as much. It remains my primary Alanon group.
& 
Mary, Betty, P, and Iam... 
Thanks for your service, y'all...