Please attempt to understand and help me to understand !!! - Al-Anon Family Group

d53sjurne · Senior Member

Please attempt to understand and help me to understand !!!

AlaMom · Senior Member

((((D53))))

I have not been in the chat room much in the last couple of weeks so I am not really clear on what transpired. I, however, have been in the rooms enough to know that when someone needs help that many are there offering it. What you refer to in the chat before and after the meetings is people having fun. At times things get a little fast in the room and it is difficult to know what conversations are directed where.

I find this a good way to vent frustrations, share happy things, and get to know others in program. I also find that all the OP's do a great job at keeping the gossip & inventory taking of others at bay.

I hope you continue to use this board and the chat room to enhance your recovery. But keep in mind that we are all human with human attibutes and faults.

Karen

Diva · ~*Service Worker*~

d53, you have been going on about this for several days. I do not know what happened as I do not go into the chat room, and your description gives me not a clue as to what may have transpired there. except that whatever happened was considered by you to be unpleasant and hurtful. (I am not even entirely sure of that.) I do know that several members here on this board have tried to console you. Some have apologized if you were hurt in any way. Others have attempted to explain the "goings on" in the chat room. You do not seem to want to listen to the words of people who are truly caring and concerned. Always there are going to be people whose behavior differs from that which we expect. It is foolish not to allow ourselves to dismiss those unimportant individuals whose mission it is to cause us pain. If this experience has caused you physical unrest, i.e. chest pain, perhaps it is adviseable to consider not going back to the scene. To continue to put yourself into a situation that you find upsetting is not in your best interest.

I wish you peace and happiness, Diva

d53sjurne · Senior Member

Diva

SAD YOU COULDN"T HELP YOU WERENT THERE AND SAY THESE THINGS ?????

I dont understand !!! To choose not to put the protections in place for a safer place for vulnerable people, you prefer to tell them to not be there. When a report of a negative thing is turned back on the person that experienced it, thats new to a place that claims to be there for u, what are they to think. Sure I came here hurting and confused. If I had not listened to those that were there to support me when i first came, only a few short weeks ago, I would of left then. I didnt come here being strong , I came to get strong. I thought I'd try again because of the wonderful feelings I felt from the majority of loving ,caring persons in this AlAnon Family that I wanted to be part of and I did express appreciation that you didnt hear. I didnt get to experience you in chat, only here. Where i was advied to post as it would be adressed here on the board.

After seeing, I reconcidered and with draw my hand and have taken back the problem on the post as Ive been informed it is I upsetting the serenity here and not the few responsible for what was in the post. I wont be able to carry that load with what I already have. I was told everything could be brought here.

MAY PEACE AND BLESSINGS BE WITH YOU AND THE FAMILY GROUP HERE

-- Edited by d53sjurne at 21:33, 2006-04-15

-- Edited by d53sjurne at 06:16, 2006-04-16

-- Edited by d53sjurne at 06:17, 2006-04-16

debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

D, Sometimes when we are in pain, we try to analyze everything. But sometimes an orange is just an orange.

Maybe your experience is just an experience. Instead of going back, how about going forward?

Ask to let it go, ask for future understanding.

Maybe it was all so confusing that ya got mixed up. I know when I first did chat I got a headache.

I am not saying things inappropriate have not happened. What I am saying is I hope you can continue here, get more comfortable and stronger. Maybe some day you can look back and not feel so hurt about it.

For now I would like to invite you to tell us how you are. Or if you like share an event in your life, or just vent.

I don't like knowing you were hurt. Just becuz we cannot see you, does not mean we don't care.

Just going to keep this simple. I am glad you are here, please keep coming back.

Love,debilyn

d53sjurne · Senior Member

Hi Just a note as I edited above posts.

There are some good slogans here: Listen and Learn Live and Let Live

Keep an Open Mind

Seems some think if its negative , don't pay attention. I find if I do that to an extreme that I miss something I might have needed to know. My A's were negative. I find here that A's still get alot of attention . And some have told me that to keep revisiting the issues can be unhealthy.

There are some Wonderful , Caring , Loving people in this AlAnon family. I have been blessed to have met and experienced some of them. I hope they Know how much I appreciate them . I thought I expresses it . In another post and in a meeting I told of a wonderful healing I felt I had in my short time here, that I have been struggling with my whole life thats caused me many , many problems. I wish this last thing wouldnt have happened. There are Great OP's here and I hope the problems of one dont continue to be misconsrued as belonging to the others not involved. And the other few that participated in it, I will pray for you, you know who you are.

LOVE, PEACE, SERENITY, AND MAY LITE SHINE UPON YOU ALL ..........BLESSINGS IN RECOVERY

leo · ~*Service Worker*~

(())) D 53 this is a saying I recently was told.

There is only now

We can live in the past but that is gone and we can't change it

We can work our butts off for the future but how do we know that we will be there to enjoy it.

There is only now and we have to live for now.

I hope we all find some serenity for having found each other on the MIP board. Live for today for how do we know what will happen tomorrow. Luv Leo xxx

d53sjurne · Senior Member

Dear Sweet Debilyn Thank you from my and soul. So very glad you are here to make a difference. Your response is so warm and comforting. I may be confused and in a bad way with my situation, but I know what happened and I know gossip when I see it and I was appalled with what I saw being said about me with my name in it so not to be confused as I returned to chat. To discount and ignore this because of earlier events of not as much consequence is disheartening to me. What was said was ugly and now in my memory to have to deal with. People on this site are here to deal with whats in their memories and lives. This one happened here where we are to be in recovery together. What if we told the ones that come here to do what I am being told to do about this ? There is a piece in the opening and closing:

TALK TO EACH OTHER * TALK THINGS OUTWITH SOMEONE ELSE BUT LET THERE BE NO GOSSIP OR CRITICISM OF ONE ANOTHER * INSTEAD LET UNDERSTANDING, LOVE, AND PEACE OF THE PROGRAM GROW IN YOU ONE DAY AT A TIME *

And I appreciate your invitation, but the previous invites helped me into this predicament. I went to the speaker tapes part of the board and listened to a few. One of them said something I've said in meetings, HP works thru people.............. They are nice to have here to listen to . I got alot out of them. And heard some of what I needed from the speakers. Sue was interesting, too. So nice to hear from you and I wish we could have talked as I've read many of your wonderful posts. I love nature and animals. They are very loving. I have 5 kittens, 11mth old brothers and sisters, that have survived both the hurricanes with me and are my new family now.

Thank you Debilyn Love and Blessings in Recovery

david62 · ~*Service Worker*~

Happy Easter everyone!!!!!

-- Edited by david62 at 18:26, 2006-04-16

debilyn · ~*Service Worker*~

D there is a reason for the saying,"take what you want, leave the rest." Of course you knew there was inappropriate stuff going on!

Now you were hurt again here. One thing I have learned in my life is, the same thing seems to happen over and over until I learn how to deal with it. Believe it or not, we can choose what we will allow to hurt us. I did not believe it at first either.

I worked for the school system and believe me, administrators are only concerned about one thing, things to look good for the media becuz it affects the bottom line.

I am an honest square peg. I took a live turkey to school for the kids before thanksgiving to show them how cool and loving they can be. The principal freaked.

There were other times I got called into the office too. I was scared and upset every single time.

sick afterwards. Then one time I thought, what makes me keep working for them? I thought THEM? I was there for the kids, had done nothing wrong and screwem scuze me but its true.

I started looking at them in a different way. Most did not like kids, did not want to work with them either.

My point is after that my life changed. I walk into conflict if it happens now, face it head on.

Boy what a change D. Here this scared ole country mouse is standing up to any man, any body and not freaking out.

If I can do it,you can I promise! love,debilyn

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.