Al-Anon Family Group

The material presented here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method to exchange information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal level.

Members Login
Username 
 
Password 
    Remember Me  
Post Info TOPIC: Courage to Change, 1/3 - Baby Steps


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1400
Date:
Courage to Change, 1/3 - Baby Steps


Today's reading talks about  making positive changes one day, one small goal, one small risk at a time.  We cannot change the past, but we can break out of unhealthy patterns.  Taking some tiny action each day can be much more effective than months of inactivity followed by a frenzied attempt to make radical changes overnight. We can face new challenges by starting from wherever we are today.

Reminder:  No one can make me change. No one can stop me from changing. No one really knows how I must change, not even I. Not until I start. I will remember that it only takes a slight shift in direction to begin to change my life.

Quote from Lao-tse: "The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step."

---------------------------------------

I had to laugh when I read the reminder "No one can make me change." Sounds like what I learned -- painfully -- about trying to change the alcoholic in my life.  Funny how it also applies to me, and it's true, no one else can create lasting change in me. 

I also have found that the "one small action at a time" method works for me.  It's not intimidating, it's manageable, it's patient.  I have been doing that with exercise, just focusing on a certain number of minutes a day.   MIP friends, what one small thing are you going to do for yourself today? 

 



__________________


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 2795
Date:

Thank you Freetime for your service and the daily!

I laughed at that line too! For exactly the reason you did! LOL!
Today I will do what I try and do every day... I begin my day with my Gratitude List. It helps me to stay focused on the positive, and it is something I can readily do without much thought or preparation!!

I hope everyone enjoys their Friday!

&



-- Edited by PosiesandPuppies on Friday 3rd of January 2020 10:23:26 AM

__________________

"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend

"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness."  Mary Oliver

 

 



~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 2726
Date:

Thanks FT for your service and both shares above. I just scheduled a doctor's appt. I would rather not go to but guess what? I'm trying to be a grown up ODAT! Lyne

__________________

Lyne



~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 11569
Date:

Happy Friday MIP family! Thank you Freetime for your service and thank you for the daily. Thanks to all for your shares and ESH. I too tried to change others for a long while until I hit that 'wall' or my 'bottom'. I did know nobody could change me - I was a stubborn, willful, black/white and always right thinker before embracing recovery! I can't tell you why I did not 'see' others with their own ways, while I resisted change big time, I expected others to do it for me or because of me. So grateful that today, I practice unconditional acceptance as best I can and leave so, so much up to the God of my understanding.

I must admit that I have a pattern of playing 'hard' when the weather is grand and then trying to do all my projects when the weather doesn't cooperate! I wish I could master the balance of work hard/play hard one day at a time! I try to adult as best I can, yet still play a bunch - making up for lost time when all I did was adult/work/worry/control/etc.

One day at a time, one small step at a time it does all seem to work out. I am grateful for awareness of where I have made improvements and awareness of where I can make improvements! Today, when I become aware, I can just work on it - I don't have to beat myself up, over-analyze, etc. I do really believe in staying present - there is nothing I can do to change yesterday and there is no need to consider tomorrow - not here yet!

Enjoy the day! Sun is shining brightly - deceptive! Our temperatures are cold - golf was cancelled! All is well as I learned in recovery to always have a Plan B (C, D). Find and keep your joy MIP! (((Hugs)))

__________________

Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene

 

 

Bo


~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 1788
Date:

Excellent reading, and thanks for the insight...thank you very much Freetime.

__________________

Bo

Keep coming back...

God, grant me the serenity...to accept the PEOPLE I cannot change...the courage to change the ONE I can...and the wisdom to know it's ME...

 



~*Service Worker*~

Status: Offline
Posts: 2940
Date:

 

 smile Freetime...

                       five years ago I picked up a saying- which condenses the programme... "Paso a paso, poco a poco, did por dia..."... "step by step, little by little, day by day..."...

I was in a really bad headspace five years ago- and I could not recall this simple phrase, from one day to the next- today, I can.

This week is my starter for the year. Most summers and christmasses, I have always worked through- being our harvest time. So this time I just rested. My SO was expecting me to go out fruitpicking... ... but i decided, going forward, to do maintenance on our properties. Not a money earner- but it will save $30-$40 ph if we paid someone else. Our properties are our retirement fund- and fortunately we live in a country where this is viable.

We have a property over on the coast- and I was going to rush off this week- to get started there. We have ground maintenance issues- and i have five sheep working for me- to achieve this.

But step by step. This time last year I was wage working as well- and sometimes working 60 hours a week. I only really need to work about 30. after all I am 68 years old!

My garage and maintenance area needs a whole lot of work. Last year I was just throwing stuff in the door- I was so busy.

I put 6 eggs under our clucky banty... and she may be a parent in two weeks time... sometimes it is the little things that matter most.

Took three grand-kids out to a heritage park yesterday. They were attentive- not bored and played up a storm with each other. In my generation we were all starved for touch- kids grandkids and grandys... thanks to out HP for this change in culture... seeing a 7 year old goofing off with his 14 year old cousin was magical for me to see!

Thanks to this group, and for the chance to share... awwawwawwawwawwawwaww...



__________________

Each Alanon member is my teacher.                                                                                                                  

Page 1 of 1  sorted by
 
Quick Reply

Please log in to post quick replies.