The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The reading for Monday, 12/30, is about the choice we have of letting what other people do or say destroy our peace of mind or ruin our day. Do we have to respond to the words of a sick person as though they were the ultimate truth or authority? Do we enjoy the martyr role? Do we need attention and pity?
The author decided the benefits pain may bring is no longer worth the price. They are finding out who they really are with the help of HP and alanon. They realize there is a beautiful person within them who does not need an identity around suffering.
Reminder: There is so much to appreciate in this life, I wont waste another moment feeling sorry for myself.
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This reading is another chapter of my story. I used to suffer, suffer, and suffer. Those around me would notice. I guess I did need attention, but I have come to learn what a sorry waste of time that is. I can choose to see the blessings in my life no matter what is going around me. It doesnt mean I dont feel pain or sadness, because I do. But I refuse to let what others do and say to sink me back down into that abyss of darkness. Spent too much time there already. Been there, done that. Lyne :)
Thank you Lyne for the daily and your service. Thank you and Betty too for your share and ESH. I have been a bit snippy of late, simply because I have lost a very important person in my life and truly haven't had the time to grieve yet. I have had house guests since the passing and while I love them, I am just a bit out of sorts.
What I know is when I am not well rested, and displaced emotionally, I am far more likely to take things personally. I am grateful to be aware of this so I can be tooled properly. It is up to me to decide what tool to use, when to use it, how to use it and part of that includes what attitude I present each and every day.
In spite of all that is right now, I do know this shall pass. I am so glad I learned about gratitude early on in recovery as it does make all the difference. Who knew I can be very, very sad yet still have an attitude of gratitude? Love that I am still learning, growing and changing every day...(((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
This is indeed a great reminder! Thank you Lyne for your service, and to the sharers.
I too had suffered for too long! I was very good at covering/hiding/fixing though, so most people thought everything was "hunky-dory" in my world. Until I ALLOWED them to see that it wasn't. I kind of prided myself on being strong and able to not allow people to see my pain. I capped "allowed" because I feel it is important to understand that I had to ACCEPT my reality. I had to put away my Pride. Once I did that - even though I hated that reality - I was able to have people help me. Family. Friends. Even this MIP group! Eventually, F2F groups.
Through their gentle (or direct) words, I realized that I DID have a choice of how I would react (or not) to my ASO. The concept of being able to not have their words/actions affect me was foreign to me! However, I eventually began to see that type of negative interaction really just handed the power and my serenity back to the addict - who was not in their "right" mind!
I am more at peace today. Grateful for the tools I have and can readily pick up!
I really like this: "What I know is when I am not well rested, and displaced emotionally, I am far more likely to take things personally. I am grateful to be aware of this so I can be tooled properly. It is up to me to decide what tool to use, when to use it, how to use it and part of that includes what attitude I present each and every day."
Iamhere - Sending you hugs and support in what has got to be an emotional time.
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
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