The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The author of today's reading learned at an early age to be in charge of everything. Because adults in the family were not handling the houshold responsibilities, the author had to take it all on.
By participating in Al-Anon, they saw how people in the group shared responsibilities. People signed up to help with events. The District Rep delegated tasks to the Group Reps.
The author learned that they don't have to pick up other people's responsibilities. They discovered that: "Amazingly, the work gets done even when I'm not the one doing it."
Thought for the Day: Is there something going on in my life that I could ask for help with today?
Quote from Paths to Recovery: "Concept Eight is about letting go and trusting others."
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Asking for help, and accepting help, are major things I have learned in my Al-Anon journey. Previously, I didn't think it was OK for others to know that I couldn't handle something. If I couldn't do it myself, I thought it meant I was stupid, incompetent, would be a burden to others, etc. When I became desperate enough to reach out, help came to me. It wasn't always the kind of help I had been asking for or expecting -- it was often better than I could have imagined.
In my local District, we've had a number of important service positions vacant for quite a while. I was pessimistic that anyone would step up. But sure enough, after announcements of the need for service were made over and over, eventually, one by one, people have volunteered to take on these roles. It's been amazing for me to see that what seemed hopeless actually was not. People did help. Not always in my preferred timeline, but in a higher power's timeline.
Good Morning Freetime, I did not know How to ask FOR HELP BECAUSE NO ONE IN MY family WOULD HELP. Thanks to alanon I have learned to assume RESPONSIBILITIES AND to DRAW BOUNDARIES I am truly grateful
Thanks for your service
Thanks Freetime for the daily and your service. I have retired and tossed my 'control captain' hat as it was just unsatisfying and exhausting. Today, I am grateful to be a part of something bigger, better and more balanced where all contribute in their own way to what is necessary. For way too many years, I did it all much as Betty describes - because no one in the family would help. Today, I'm better at doing what I need to do and asking for help when needed. I don't always get what I want, but I do get what I need!
Happy Friday all - make it a great day!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thank you Freetime for your service and the daily.
This stood out to me: Quote from Paths to Recovery: "Concept Eight is about letting go and trusting others."
Embracing this and understanding that 1) I did not have to take up the mantle of everything, every task, and 2) It is good to allow others to complete the task in their own way, was important for my growth. Al-Anon has helped me grow in these areas!
Yesterday we had a freaky freezing weather storm roll through. There was snow covering the tops of all the mountains/hills near my house! So unusual to be so low in elevation!! I am excited to greet the sun-up so that I can really see all the white! Simple Pleasures.
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Thanks FT for your service and for all above shares. In my FOO we had a raging brother running the show. I lived in fear and I think my parents were afraid of him too. I tried to just shrink into the woodwork and not be noticed. I did not get into fixing mode until later in life, and this included a 36 yr career of helping others. Maybe I was making up for what I didnt get.
These days I try to handle everything I can myself, but when I need help, Im OK to ask. Program has given me a strong message that I deserve respect and it starts with me respecting myself. Its a long journey but well worth it. Lyne
Gr8 share Freetime. I was the oldest of five and took over some adult responsibilities. I did not think of myself as controlling and domineering- but I have to consider that my younger sister and three brothers were ACoA too- and may well have seen things very differently.
Our local Alanon groups run on a shoestring... at my age I am actually past being a group rep. and moving into old-timer status- which is gratifying. I help put the banners up at meetings- and am offered my turn to chair.
I am still learning lots about Alanon policy and practise- with a view to playing my part in keeping the movement going.
Th mantra I use still is Concept 4. "Participation is the key to harmony."
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I was the oldest of five and took over some adult responsibilities. I did not think of myself as controlling and domineering- but I have to consider that my younger sister and three brothers were ACoA too- and may well have seen things very differently.