The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
The reading for Monday, 12/16, is about what the author has learned in alanon: they are not responsible for everything and everyone. Some examples are:
-You dont have to understand everything.
-You may show your feelings.
-One doesnt have to feel threatened by the future.
-One doesnt have to feel guilty about the past.
-You dont have to feel alone.
-You are not responsible for other peoples choices.
-One does not have to give up their hopes and dreams.
With alanon friends, HP, taking ODAT, and using the steps, there are many tools available to make our life better.
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This daily reading reminds me how much I have to be grateful for, and how program has allowed me to live a more sane and reasonable life. I never thought it would have been possible, to have a happy feeling, no matter what my A and others are doing. But it is! I can choose to be responsible for myself. Lyne
Good morning Lyne great reminder. . The tools that i have embraced since entering program have assured me of a successful life . I now can live life with courage, and gratitude knowing that hp is with me
I am trying to live the "You do not have to feel threatened by the future." It is not always easy, as I tend to be a "planner," and as such can get thrown off if things don't go as I plan them! Thankfully, this program has helped me to be more accepting of curveballs thrown my way! I have definitely become more flexible!
I also like the "You are not responsible for other people's choices." It may be a more prevalent idea now... I believe as a society as a whole, we are more "woke"... but I am a late-year Boomer... so I heard A LOT of implied and direct mention of the wife "controlling" their spouse's behavior-especially when I was first married (1980"s). I am not sure why the generation before mine thought that the wife had such power - by just becoming married - but I did get quite a bit of "side-eye" when it came to my Ex's family side. Probably b/c his parents were 10 years older than my parents... they had such different views of things than my parents had... or perhaps b/c it was always mentioned that I was "so good" for my spouse overall. Not sure, but I know it is a generational thing, as I mention this belief to 20 and 30-something's and they think I am crazy, as if they have never heard of such a thing! LOL!
I am also working on "One doesn't have to feel guilty about the past."
I am a grateful Work In Progress!!
It's Monday... lunch is being provided by my boss, as it the substitute for our holiday office party. So I am grateful!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
C2C is my go-to, daily reader. Every morning and every evening. And sometimes during the day, LOL.
I get from this reading what Lyne does.
My experience on the journey of recovery has taught me a great deal. The more I try and figure out and understand anything about the alcoholic/addict...the more I am NOT in my recovery. The more I try and figure out and understand anything about the alcoholic/addict...the more I drive myself crazy. The more I try and figure out and understand anything about the alcoholic/addict...the more I am NOT having and in a place of acceptance. The more I try and figure out and understand anything about the alcoholic/addict...the more I am NOT focusing on myself.
Keep it simple. I love it.
In alanon, I am there for alanon. For my recovery. My recovery has nothing to do with the other person. My recovery is about me.
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Bo
Keep coming back...
God, grant me the serenity...to accept the PEOPLE I cannot change...the courage to change the ONE I can...and the wisdom to know it's ME...
Thank you Lyne and all who shared. What I like....."you don't have to understand everything." I love to analyze, over-analyze and make sense of what someone says or does. I want to know WHY they said or did something or didn't. If I can understand it......maybe it won't drive me crazy. Wrong. It drove me crazy trying to figure everyone out. I give up a lot quicker now. I am not meant to be "all knowing." Phew....what a relief.
Thank you Lyne for your service and the daily! Thanks to all who've shared their ESH too! This page is awesome as it reminds me that it's OK to just be me, one among many, imperfect and authentic! I can feel what I feel, trust in a God of my understanding, practice humility, recovery, grace and unconditional love as I see fit!
I too like to analyze, over-analyze, etc. most of life....today, with a solid relationship with my HP, I catch myself and am better at letting go, satisfied with trusting in what I don't know. FREEDOM has been a great gift from doing recovery, the best I can, one day at a time!
Happy Monday all - we had more snow today so I am still hibernating. It's a good thing I enjoy myself, my home, etc. and stocked up - I don't like being on the slick/snowy roads with all the other crazies out there! The gal pal taco team opted for an all day chat session in lieu of our tacos this evening! We all work it any way, any day, and that's what it's all about! (((Hugs))) MIP Family!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Thank you Lyne and all who shared. What I like....."you don't have to understand everything." I love to analyze, over-analyze and make sense of what someone says or does. I want to know WHY they said or did something or didn't. If I can understand it......maybe it won't drive me crazy. Wrong. It drove me crazy trying to figure everyone out. I give up a lot quicker now. I am not meant to be "all knowing." Phew....what a relief.
Happy Monday!
Ellen
Hear hear!!!
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Bo
Keep coming back...
God, grant me the serenity...to accept the PEOPLE I cannot change...the courage to change the ONE I can...and the wisdom to know it's ME...
Great share, Lyne. 
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