The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I like growing potatoes, tomatoes and asparagus. They are all three related- and grow naturally on sands behind the tide line.
Because I live far inland, the dustbowl of 1878 created the sands and sand dunes here. So when I am on the coast I collect sea weed.
I rot it in a barrel and apply it liberally to most things- but especially those three I mentioned.
Sometimes i have the persona of a farm boy- which ah was... and I relate well to the rural areas of most countries, including the USA.
I married well- and as a consequence we can both look forward to a comfortable retirement. I retired from why mountain job last Autumn-
and now have some leisure. We run a small business together- which should provide us with retirement income- and a bit of a divvy left over- when we pass away. ...
Up until recently I have gotten confused lots of times. Losing things- and losing myself too. I have to set up the caravan to pull it over the pass to the next town east of here. Two grand-kids are rowers- and we go over there for the regatta's these days. This weekend the two youngest grandkids are coming too- and will stay in the caravan with us!
Working on the mountain I was exhausted a lot of the time. I had to break rocks sometimes and dig away clay. I did not stay until I wrenched a knee, or broke something.
A lot of the time, on my 'puter I have been trying to unravel the world economy. But today i searched past this- and am now researching my favourite poet- Ted Reothke. Not surprising that I chose him- because he was the son of a big drinker. His early piece- :My Papa's Waltz: reflects on this generative experience.
So I am easing up more and more.
I do not like watching Tv programmes back to back. I come from the movie era- and I like to watch a show- one show at a time.
What I missed most as a kid was not being able to discuss matter of great moment with anyone really. Anyone who talks with me about things of interest will find a willing listener.
I needed to have a good check on the tyres in the caravan- for safety sake. Often when I try to do practical things I lose stuff, or get distracted. At least I do not come home tired, now and try to do stuff in the evening.
Being able to do things slowly and methodically suits me well. And I tend to find stuff I might otherwise lose or misplace.
Th ordinary things on the seashore were the green herbs, and the patches of wild whaler's potato. Sometimes the worn prow of a ship might show up- after a storm? These are my dreams and musings.
Do you think you might have traumatic brain injury. Many children who were abused have it
Over 50% of homeless have it .
That might he an explanation of you not being able to track stuff
Blows to the head can cause real problems
There are things you can do but one important thing is to not beat yourself up about it.
David, I loved how you equated the shifting sands of the shore with the shifting "tides" of your life!
I always enjoy your shares no matter what the subject. Thank you!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Yes, Maresie- I did think If had traumatic brain injury, or C-PTSD. There is no therapy available in my part of the world. So I used my ACA programme to address this. Words like dissociation [or numbing] crop up too.
I went into a process of doing neuroplasticity- with swimming, singing exercises, and especially breathing. By taking all this as a package- I was able to achieve some good results. With a condition I have had since I was a kid.
I got help from a physiotherapist- with the breathing. A chiropractor was able to restore hearing in my left ear. I could hear a little- but could not pick up nuance and tone when people talked to me. Because of childhood neglect and poverty i had had glue ear. The ear was not damaged at all- just blocked. And I did not know it.
I can communicate well now- and since I effectively had an ear plug in my ear my hearing is really good.
I use my Alanon programme as a base-line. It keeps me in touch with reality. It is a space where i can listen and be listened to- which is really, really healing. It helps to maintain a balance in my life.
I could have gotten really angry- at all the lost opportunities in my life. No point in that. I am just so glad I have made it through.
These days I sleep really well and deeply. I know when I get stressed i lose things and self-sabotage. And I lose myself too.
I use the slogan "Think" a lot. I actually began to this clearly three or four years ago.- Along with the physical changes I have described above. I knew, with this recovered facility that i had some catching up to do. I am writing a book- and doing stuff I never ever thought possible.
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