The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I am kind of sad today. Letting go of people is not easy for me. I have a cousin who won't call me only write me letters via mail. Sometimes I just want to stop writing just to see what would happen. I love her dearly. I don't want to lose touch. When I started to write this post, I really didn't know what I'd say. I actually love getting mail & very few people send letters or cards these days. I should be grateful. I would just love to hear her sweet voice.
So, what else can I say? I know that I definitely need to share another loss of mine. Recently I lost a friend. Her sister spoke about her and their relationship. Her sister has been sober for about 30 years. Their relationship had been very bad before sobriety. I commend her for getting in front of her family & friends & people who didn't even know her. It was like a mini speaker meeting. I can't remember if she mentioned AA but it was definitely obvious w/ her share. Love all that about some funeral services. And, believe me I have been to many. I actually feel compelled to attend all the funerals I feel comfortable at.
So, another post in the books. I could share a lot more.
Kathleen. I got a "my way or the doorway" message from a friend this week.
I patched up two weeks ago, with a cuz- who is really my 2nd bestest ever friend. There are two mokapuna [third generation relations] at stake here- and at risk- [aged 4 and 6]. So we, at least, closed ranks on this one!
Today I have enough friends- to lose one, every so often. Some of the strongest friendships have come out of bust-ups! ...
I always say this: "Neither avoid nor provoke a conflict." The tool I use here is the serenity prayer. ...
Hoping your Christmas time will be fruitful, my friend... ... -Dave.
You are so right. It doesn't have to be sad -- in perpetuity, forever, long-lasting, etc.
There is a difference between something being sad, being sad, feeling sadness, etc. -- and being a sad person, overrun, overwhelmed, and consumed by sadness.
Thanks for sharing!!!
__________________
Bo
Keep coming back...
God, grant me the serenity...to accept the PEOPLE I cannot change...the courage to change the ONE I can...and the wisdom to know it's ME...
I am a little confused... so your cousin won't pick up the phone & talk if you call? I was thinking that perhaps the cost is way beyond her means. But in any case, you are so right... "IT" doesn't have to be sad in perpetuity... we have the choice to look for the good & rejoice in that!
Thanks for sharing your thoughts today... I hope you are feeling sunnier!
&
__________________
"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
{{{Kathleen}}} It's OK to feel your feelings, but I just try not to get stuck there. I have a close friend with bone cancer, another friend with pancreatic cancer, and a 14 and a 1/2 year old dog. If I anticipate all these losses I will go down under. I'm taking ODAT, and leaning on program and HP. Hugs, Lyne
(((Kathleen))) - I also struggle to let people go! What helps me is considering the Just for Today below...
"Just for today I will try to live through this day only, and not tackle my whole life problems at once. I can do something for twelve hours that would appall me if I felt that I had to keep it up for a lifetime.
Just for today I will be happy. This assumes to be true what Abraham Lincoln said, that "Most folks are as happy as they make their minds to be."
Just for today I will adjust myself to what is, and not try to adjust everything else to my own desires. I will take my "luck" as it comes, and fit myself to it.
Just for today I will try to strengthen my mind. I will study; I will lean something useful; I will not be a mental loafer; I will read somethign that requires effort, thought, and concentration.
Just for today I will exercise my soul in three ways: I will do somebody a good turn, and not get found out; if anybody knows of it, it will not count; I will do at least two things I don't want to do--just for exercise. I will not show anyone that my feelings are hurt; they may be hurt, but today I will not show it.
Just for today I will be agreeable. I will look as good as I can, dress becomingly, talk low, act courteously, criticize no one bit, not find fault with anything, and not try to improve or regulate anybody except myself.
Just for today I will have a program. I may not follow it exactly, but I will have it. I will save myself from two pests: hurry and indecision.
Just for today I will have a quiet half hour all by myself, and relax. During this half hour, sometime, I will try to get a better perspective on my life.
Just for today I will be unafraid. I will enjoy that which is beautiful, and will believe that as I give to the world, so the world will give to me."
Like Lynn, I've got loved ones battling cancer, aging parents, aging fur-baby and when I pause there - it's beyond sad! Yet, when I instead keep it simple and focus on this one day, which is all I really have, I am OK! (((Hugs)))
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Kathleen. I got a "my way or the doorway" message from a friend this week. 
...
... -Dave.
& 