The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Needto release as I am seriously loosing it. My boyfriend has been addicted off & on for many years he had been clean almost 11 months and relapsed. He said once he started to trying cope with life on normal terms he had slowly become more & more depressed. Said once he used he realized he never wanted to go back there again.
1 week later he gets paid & goes mia. He has now been missing for 3 weeks. He has never been a daily user & only uses periodically. As he has never been mia more than a week I have filed a missing persons report. I am now barely hanging on & fearing the worst as thoughts of suicide or foul play in a drug deal gone bad plague my mind. I had been attending alanon meetings & working the steps but right now nothing is helping me cope
{{{amisfitlife}}}. PLease dont stop alanon meetings and resume step work as soon as you can. yes your situation is very troubling and its good you have filed a missing person report. I assume family and friends of his have been contacted? Very serious and stressful. So sorry. I hope you can lean on alanon and the God of your understanding during this so very difficult time. Keep us posted. Lyne
This is a progressive disease. There is nothing you can do about that. There is nothing you can do about his using.
Go to as many meetings as you can. Go as often as you can. Find a sponsor. Start talking to him/her, as often as possible. Do the readings in CTC and ODAT. Reach out for help. Ask for help. Focus on the very next thing in front of you, with laser-precision focus, and do whatever it is -- fold laundry, watch TV, clean the house, whatever. All the best.
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Bo
Keep coming back...
God, grant me the serenity...to accept the PEOPLE I cannot change...the courage to change the ONE I can...and the wisdom to know it's ME...
(((amisfitlife))) - relapse just plain stinks - for all involved. It took my a ton of practice in recovery to learn how to reach out to my sponsor or others in recovery when my mind would go to the dark places projecting the worse case scenario. I had to learn through meetings, steps, tools, support and a Higher Power that projecting, especially when I am full of fear and worry is just not a good place for me to 'go'...
I hope your share, just getting it out in black/white, helped with some release and relief. Sending tons of positive thoughts and prayers for you and your guy - the disease is cunning, baffling, powerful and progressive. I hope you can get to some meetings and try to just stay in the present. (((Hugs)))
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I'm sorry you're going through this. I hate being powerless and not knowing. That combination is probably my biggest trigger that can send me on a fast backslide.
A friend of mine who lives out of state had told me recently that he'd had to make a trip to the emergency room with alarming symptoms. The night after I got the news I could barely sleep. All I did was just keep catching my head going on crazy "what if" journeys and when I'd catch myself I would just say "God - this is YOURS. My friend belongs to you. I cannot do anything from here in the middle of the night. My friend is in your hands. I trust you. Please allow me to sleep." Eventually I got the sleep I needed, and also thankfully I later found out that my friend was going to be okay.
I agree with the shares in here - in cases like these it's best I find ways to keep myself busy. Yes, prayer and meditation are good. Sometimes I put people I'm concerned with into the third step prayer: "God, I offer (name) to thee, to build with him/her and do with him/her as thou wilt. Relieve him/her of the bondage of self so he/she may better do thy will. Take away his/her difficulties so that victory over them may bear witness to those he/she would help of thy power, thy love, and thy way of life. May he/she do thy will always."
After prayer and mediation it's time to make myself useful to someone. Reach out to a program member who I know has maybe been struggling. Offer them my support. Participate in service work. Pick up the phone and reason things out with my sponsor. Clean the kitchen, de-clutter, go to work, schedule needed appointments, etc. etc., and if I catch myself thinking about the problem again, try to switch over to thinking about God instead - whatever it is that God looks and feels like to me.
Prayers for you and your boyfriend. Hoping HP wraps you both in comfort and love.
