The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
For some reason my closest group has a lot of men in it. This is a novelty for me- because- for the first 30 years I was the only man in my hometown group. This was a mixed blessing, really. Over time I bonded with my home group- and forgot the gender difference. Then I had this familiarity with women- which some women found a bit threatening. But, hey... I already knew about boundaries- and good healthy boundaries emerge out of our groups. Meeting someone cold- does take time to create trust.
So now I focus on personal space- rather than boundaries. respecting other people's because i now have my own. ...
But anyway I got a phone call from our area assembly yesterday. They were about to have their auction. This is a fun auction, with booby prizes. Fun and laughter. I have a lovely gladioli growing near my doorstep- that came from one of those auctions.
But the group rep- from our neighbouring group- always keeps kidding me- that I get sucked into this auction- and pay far too much.
Taking our recovery- out of the rooms- in a healthy fun way is a good sign for me. Maybe when we are ready to leave the cocoon, or the nest.
Alanon can be a comfort zone- where we can heal- because it is a place where we can learn to trust others, and ourselves! ...
I am not leaving the nest completely. The nicest nest I know [outside of NZ] is in Rapid City, SD. It is one of those AA clubhouses. And Alanon has it's own dedicated room there. And I sense this now- wherever members meet.
Every so often there is an issue- or a glitch... I believe that I have bin around long enough to sense this sometimes. Sometimes I know to back off because it is none of my business. And other times I may be a part of it. For me, these days Step 10 is like a spanner, or a wrench. Some things are really easy to fix- if they are done promptly.
I do not ever believe in cover-ups or quick fixes. A lot of stuff needs other people involved to get things right. Alanon has given me the social skills to work through this, most of the time.
This is something which is a gift of recovery.
At my last F2F meeting i felt that I had rubbed the group rep person up the wrong way. This was because I am still very sensitive. But- as it appears- it was forgotten in the moment- at the time.
But this is what life is all about- up, and at 'em... ...
I won some gladioli corms at our area assembly two years ago. At the auction we have. They looked rather dry and flat- but I planted them the first season, anyway. Only one came up- and I stored the parent over winter- because it freezes hard here, over winter.
Last summer it produced a beautiful multi-coloured flower- but just one bloom. This summer I can see the narrow leaves coming up- and it looks like we might have two or three blooms.
I was always impatient for changes to happen- but it was always this desperation and impatience that drove me forwards to find answers.
Where i grew up there were two beautiful gardens and ground- about two acres- that had been planted and tended by two sisters, who were also neighbours. In the 1920's. The son of one had his family next door- and his wife kept the ground looking spic and span...
...on our side of the fence everything went to wrack and ruin. Nothing was ever weeded, and the lawns were never mowed. One time, and one time only our mum weeded and cleaned up around the fountain in the middle of the lawn. This was the topic of one of the first poems I got published when I was about 20.
My mum loved horses and ponies, And cats and dogs and rabbits. Against stuff that went on at home- we had this playground of fallen trees, poplars, willows and stuff- which was a magical playground for kids. This worked well until my early teens. Past then I froze at the thought of friends coming round.
So the glads [as we call them in NZ] are a kind of beacon- a symbol of hope- in a strange and confused world. Which was a strange and confused world.
It is warm and blustery day here- summer has arrived at last!
Thank you David. Not only do I love your shares b/c I learn Program things from you... from a different perspective, but the way you describe your life in NZ just takes me right there! Today, it was like a summer breeze! I especially loved your share about your yard... I just knew from your description, that it would've been an imagination paradise for me as well, as a kid - but when you hit teen years and begin to care what others think...well, sometimes the unbridled JOY gets sucked out. Childhood can be a magical time - if for nothing else but our imaginative, "devil may care," young minds!
Last fall I planted yellow Glads (from the 99 cent store of all places! - all I could afford)... this past spring I was rewarded with the most beautiful, sunny- yellow blooms! Each day that I would look out my kitchen window I would grin this silly grin of joy to see that long, lovely line of yellow faces staring back at me!
Perhaps you can post a picture of your Glad when it is bloomed-out!
Wishing you a wonderful (what is now) Monday, David!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
From memory P. my glads are multi-coloured... and the leaves are coming up now. Hmmm I think it s time for our core members to keep stepping up and sharing. We are getting some new members stepping in. I suppose people get here through a google search. But the numbers of guests have shrunk a lot. [Maybe the "In The Rooms" 12 Step and Alanon groups are picking these enquiries up?]
Not to worry- personally I needed the support of this group in recent months- and I was not disappointed! ...
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