The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Spent the morning reading and double reading from our literature...blessing tools. They remind me of what it was like, what happened after getting into program and what it is like now while following the guidance. This is where and how I feel blessed for real by our program thru my Higher Power.
I remember years back one afternoon not feeling so loved and blessed because I was feeling deeply hurt by a love one and that HP was allowing it which made me rage. I tested the waters and told my HP that I was going to rant and rage using what ever language come to mind and spirit and if HP didn't like it "OH Well!!" and so I lit out on the rant, scream, swear and rage using language at my HP I was sure could get my van set on fire if I was on the other end. In the midst of it all my mind and spirit was called to look out the window of my van to the front yard of my home and when I did all of the anger and resentment expired immediately for there very close to me was the international logo for peace...the dove; and not only a dove but a rare St. Francis of Assisi dove one with a crucifix drawn on it's back. I was mesmerized because I knew HP was talking with me. I use to raise pigeons that were not afraid of me and as I approached this stranger and knelt down with my palms outstretched it walked up to me and into my hands.
I was being abided with. The message was "peace" and the dove perfect and this event would continue for 2 days and include my sponsee who was also going thru a similar event with his alcoholic wife.
I have never seen another St. Francis dove again and then once is often enough when your HP does the talking right?
Literature trigger? I get them often. Keep coming back. ((((hugs))))
Hi Jerry, I wouldn't know a St. Francis dove is it landed on my shoulder and said booga booga. LOL This town is full of birds. Just flocks of everything. During the Evening it gets really noisy for a while and then the trees all go to sleep- actually it is the birds but all one can see is the tree.
I haven't had a sign for a while ...or i wasn't looking perhaps. I did get a realization that if god could bring my mother and me together after such a rocky start, he could repair my relationships with other family members.
My daughter is looking at divorce and i think she is at peace with it so I will work on letting it go and look at what needs to be worked on in myself.
I may or may not tell my roommate how his fights with mutual friend are effecting me but I want to look at my motives clearly first. Am I aiming to deliver my experience strength and hope or to fix him or anyone else. While i know they'd be happier agreeing to disagree that is not my biz. My biz is to take care of me with or without their rows. Neither listens. I get that. Sometime4s i trade my serenity for not listening . It always leaves me feeling ripped off. Now i know it is me i am mad at for going there. Why I choose to repeat that failed experiment I do not know. I am so much less likely to hand over my serenity for an illusion now. I am willing to make mistakes and I am willing to have realizations about those mistakes.
I may go down the street to the aviary and look at the doves. It is behind a fence but the people are friendly there. I feel so fortunate to live here even with the fires that leave the air funny. I suspect all fire areas have people who at a real basic level feel panic when the air smells and feels like it does even if they don't consciously know it. What could be more important than getting away from a big fire?
Thanks ((Jerry))) for sharing about this spiritual awakening. It reminds me that when the student is ready, the teacher will come. I'm grateful for your beautiful share. It's helped me feel more at peace with life on life's terms right now. You've reminded me that anger can at times feel almost like an out of body experience when one is enraged. Then my hp puts something of startling beauty in my path - a child, flower, animal which by it's very presence helps to diffuse the anger. I believe one of our daily readings actually talks about someone being angry and then noticing the hurt look on their dog's face. The person then realizes how they must sound if an innocent pet is affected in that way.
We're lucky that our hp continues to send us miracles to witness particularly when our behavior is most unloveable. I think it's hp's way of letting us know that hp's love is unconditional. (((hugs)))) TT
-- Edited by tiredtonite on Friday 15th of November 2019 07:21:36 PM
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Surround yourself with people and elements that support your destiny, not just your history.
Lovely share Jerry - thank you or the post, your insight and the magic or miracles in recovery....It seems or me/my recovery that I get exactly what I need when I need it - a reading touches on my state of mind or life, a phone call provides me joy or a distraction, a sunrise/sunset reminds me how truly blessed I am with all that I have.
When I keep an open mind, and just stay present as best I can. I do see/feel the many miracles all around me each day, one day at a time. I'm still thrilled each morning when my eyes open to just be here, as in reality, I should not be! Keep sharing brother, always touches my spirit!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
I have discovered ranting and raving makes me feel very.much worse. I have not found other strategies yet but this discovery feels like a revelation
Maresie
I love this share! Thank you Jerry for sharing how your HP used nature to capture your attention!
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
If nothing ever changed there would be no butterflies...What a thought!! Butterflies are powerful in HP's communications to me. HP never fails to grab, hold and affect my attention and peace of mind. I think often "How in the hell can they fly at all under such windy conditions as they flutter into my vision".
This morning's meeting had butterfly members who's shares caught my attention as they shared how they kept gliding and flying while the disease stormed and blew at them.
Mahalo Akua for all that you give and share with us for our peace of mind and serenity. ((((hugs))))
