The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I wanted to share this - I heard a speaker, Tom B. share this little joke at a talk a few days ago.
He said his sponsor once informed him that a laurel is something that you wear on your head. So when you're resting (sitting) on your laurels, you essentially have your head up your... ahem. lol
I thought that was great, and it's probably a pretty succinct way to put it.
What does resting on your laurels mean in terms of recovery? I believe this is a term I hear more often in AA, but this so applies to Al-Anon, too, as I recognize the majority of us are striving for emotional sobriety.
For me it means complacency and perhaps a touch of denial.
"Things have been going great for an extended period of time. Why should I bother participating in recovery? I only need it when times are bad. I have this all figured out. No one is stressing me out. The alcoholic is finally working a program of recovery. I'm good - he's the one who really needs to work on himself, anyway. Maybe I'll go to a meeting next month. I'll only call my sponsor if I'm in a crisis - but why on earth should there be a crisis? Everything is fine right now and I don't see why it shouldn't stay that way. I'd rather binge-watch a series on Netflix instead of read some literature or pray or meditate. I have too much to do this week to get to a meeting. But overall, life is just fine so I don't need to keep on top of my program."
My sponsor said to me one time that alcoholism doesn't just disappear. While it may seem the disease has eased up on us in our lives, it hasn't left for good. It's in the back room doing push-ups.
That push-up analogy, to me, means when it comes back, look out because it's going to be out for blood.
I think I've shared it before, but I view recovery as my spiritual and emotional health fitness routine. I try to stay on top of it and be consistent so I'm not back to square one if life brings the inevitable stressful event my way.
Lovely topic Aloha....I must admit I've never heard what was described to you. For recovery, it is from the Big Book:
"It is easy to let up on the spiritual program of action and rest on our laurels. We are headed for trouble if we do, for alcohol is a subtle foe. We are not cured of alcoholism. What we really have is a daily reprieve contingent on the maintenance of our spiritual condition." AA Big Book page 85.
For my recovery, it suggests that I forget I only have one day, this day. When I am practicing this program as best I can, one day at a time, I am not at rest. In AA, we suggest that you are either moving forward or you are going backwards - there is no staying in one place. I have not heard this in Al-Anon, but do believe it applies to all of my recovery efforts. I know me well enough that if I'm not learning and challenged, it's easy to let my mind wonder into projection and/or fear. I do so much better when I can keep things simple, one day at a time.
Webster states that "to rest on your laurels" is to be satisfied with your success and do nothing to improve on it. Great topic - looking forward to reading other responses!
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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
... sometimes I see the need, personally to take a break from recovery too. I think it is a matter of balance.