The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I just wanted to say a very big thank you to those who offered to help me in chat last night. I asked if I could pm someone re:teenagers. Doubly difficult for me as teen in question isn't mine and as I don't have any children of any age I was working from a very limited frame of reference. Main qualifier was the fact that I was one! I was feeling inadequate and overwhelmed. I asked once for help and nobody replied for a while. I didn't take it personally, I just assumed that as the room was quite full and going at a fair pace my cry for help had been missed. I tried again and got several offers. I can't remember all the names and don't want to list the ones I can in case it breaks anonymity. I just hope you know who you are.
I accepted the first offer and this kind person spent several hours with me (bless their soul, I had no idea how long it was taking!) I generally don't have many crises these days as my A is in recovery (so the daily alcohol and ism crises are becoming a thing of the past) and I have some program under my belt so try to keep molehills from becoming mountains. However, life happens and a totally non-alcohol related event occured yesterday that put me in a bit of a 'tizz'. I'm feeling unwell physically so it just made it harder for me to 'get my head round it'. I went to the meet and though it helped I still had 'monkey-mind'.
I didn't realise at the time being new to pm in chat and only a month online that others had actually opened for me! I didn't realise that those in red were trying to talk to me. Oops! I did see one name but thought it meant that member was in pm with someone else. Please forgive my ignorance. I wouldn't have known how to get from one pm to another though so I couldn't have responded even if I'd realised!
I just wanted to share how much it meant to me that people were willing to be there for me. I know that is the corner-stone of our fellowship but it still touches my heart deeply when others respond because I still don't find it easy to ask for help on particularly sensitive issues... and this was a sensitive issue for me. I've got a feeling I will need continued support though and as I am currently sponsorless this forum is precious to me.
I'm aware that there have been some unpleasant experiences in chat recently so also wanted to acknowledge the positives in my experience. I left with some peace and a bit more clarity/perspective. I was listened to by someone I'm not even sure I've ever spoken directly with so the help was not based on friendships/acquaintances I've made in my short time online. I believe he was a 'guy' (from the nick I didn't know so please also forgive me if I've got that wrong too) and I'm a 'gal'; for me this was irrelevant as I feel my issue was a parent/people issue. He was definitely a person and also a parent lol. He was so patient and believe me I can talk but don't type too fast! He listened, interjected appropriately so I didn't feel I was in monologue and mentioned how specific points of program could be brought into play. He did not give advice just helped me work out the kinks in my thinking and to see it from another perspective. He helped me to find my inner voice, the one that says though things may not be comfortable, they may be right and if they're not right they're the best I've got to work with right now. To me this was program at its best. I'm deeply grateful.
I do know today that my HP sends me the right people in the right time and assists me in ways beyond my comprehension. A very odd thing (some may say it was HP planting the seed of awareness) but I dreamt of this situation two weeks before it happened. Details were very slightly off but main points spot on! Some may say this was subconscious but I have not had contact with the concerned parties for a couple of months now and I genuinely don't think it's something I would've picked up on or suspected, the reality was definitely a bolt out of the blue! Whatever the explanation was, my forewarning enabled me to break the ice on a very delicate situation and get to the crucial facts in a time sensitive situation. Primary crisis averted temporarily but diplomacy/tact needed to navigate through the mess before resolution is achieved. Prayers would be much appreciated.
Thank you all for being here and reaching out in my time of need, may blessings and love be with you all.
Thank you for your post. I, too, have had many positive experiences in chat. I have been thinking a lot about all of the posts/replies that have been going round about the chat. Working through in my own head what I want to post about my own thoughts. I am so glad that someone was there to help you when you needed it. That was the very first thing that amazed me with this site, there was always someone there.
I hope that you HIgher Power continues to guide you through this troubled time.
Thank you so much for posting. Not many people take the time to post the good things about chat, it seems the negatives always get the attention. I guess it's kind of like life in general, when it's ok we are content but when there are problems we dwell on it and yell from the roof top. In my opinion that chatroom has been a lifeline for thousands. Compared to the love and compassion that one can find there, the negatives are minimal.
People tend to gripe about things that happen there, but I wonder if they've stopped to think what it would be like if it wasn't there at all.
Thanks again, Christy
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If we think that miracles are normal, we will expect them. And expecting a miracle is the surest way to get one.
I'm glad you had the opportunity to have someone to talk to about your situation. And I'm glad that you were able to work through some of the challenges together. It truly is a blessing that the chatroom is there, with many experienced and sincerely compassionate people willing to be open to listening and helping others. If the world were more like our roomies, it would be a better one! Having said that, I think the world is actually getting better all the time, and so is this site, with more people like you coming in every day; and people like the roomies already here, able to help those with similar experiences to utilize the tools of the program as a means to acclimate to so many varied situations that occur.
The magic of the site and the program, in my opinion, is the same magic that is making the world a better place. And that is, it is a spiritually minded site with in a spiritually minded program, in a world that is becoming more spiritually aware than ever before.
The magic that gave you a premonition of sorts, and with it some ability to prepare for what occured, is the same spirit that gives you girls intuition: "inner vision" I call it. Boys have it too, just have to concentrate so much more on it to develop it in themselves, and being a "boy", I know we get easily distracted.
We aren't all in the same place in our growth, in life, in spiritual awareness, or in this program, and that's ok. Not all the trees are fully grown, but we don't see that as a problem, do we? The difference is to me, two fold: one, trees grow as much as they can, that's what they're designed to do. People have a choice, and sometimes choose not to grow. The other is, trees don't lend a hand to other trees that get tangled up and need help, people have a choice to ask for, as well as offer help, and many often do, with marvelous results.
Thank you for accentuating the positive responses you got from reaching out for help. And most of all, thank you for being here because you are helping too, more than you know, by sharing, growing and healing. We're on this journey together
