The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
I found yours and Davids Step 11 shares and got the benefits from your ESH. Step 11 is habit a necessary habit in my recovery and a part of the journey and place that I find and insert myself constantly as I believe our program teaches and awards spiritual benefits.
What I always needed from the start was a connection to a Power Greater than myself and a process of how to keep and work that connection or find myself constantly lost in the swamp of my sickly life making the same mistakes over and over again expecting different results and trying to force the world to see and do life as Jerry F desired.
I learned how to STOP!! and be quiet and focus on the world outside myself giving up the focus of self centeredness where very, very, little was of mental, physical, emotional and spirit was of use to me and others.
Prayer for me constantly is communication with HP and meditation is constant focus on what I get from the voice of truths and then practicing what I learn.
I am spiritually inspired to continue living this program of recovery listening and learning from those who work it around me.
My spirit (intention) is to continue to live it each day, one day at a time and then exercising my responsibility to give it away.
My home group had a great meeting on this step, as well. Several points that came out were that our relationship with our HP is a close and intimate one and that's why it's important that our program remain spiritual and not religious so we can work with our HP in the most meaningful way for us.
For me, I focused briefly on the word "improve" in the step. It means I'm working daily and that there's no graduation from or end to this improvement process. My relationship with my HP is ever growing, expanding, and evolving as time moves forward, and that's a beautiful thing, and I look forward to more growth and change as life moves forward. I just feel like I keep getting closer and closer to my HP each and every year.
I do prayer and mediation daily. I was reminded at another 11th step meeting a while ago that even if you're new to the program, you needn't wait until you officially get to the 11th step to start praying. It doesn't hurt to start now - even if you're on step one, and even if at that time you haven't quite even figured out who or what your HP is - pray anyway. When I first started working with my sponsor that was a requirement she had for me before we even began working the steps - read pages 86-88 in AA's Big Book, get down on my knees and do the prayers found in those pages each day. Specifically to "ask God to direct our thinking, especially asking that it be divorced from self-pity, dishonest or self-seeking motives." I later graduated to using the 3rd Step prayer as my daily prayer which is "God, I offer myself to thee, to build with me and do with me as thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self so that I may better do thy will. Take away from me my difficulties that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of thy power, the love, and thy way of life. May I do thy will always."
Where meditation is concerned, I was reminded that it's not just sitting in a quiet room trying to quiet your mind. While I do this each morning along with my prayers, I also realize that in the sense of meditation being listening that I meditate each time I attend an Al-Anon meeting and listen to the shares and wisdom of others.
This morning's meeting was also on Step Eleven and so very meaningful to my daily recovery. I spent the early morning hours struggling with active insanity I have never participated in before. It was loud and insane and it owned me. At first I tried fighting it and figuring it out yet the more I tried the worse it got. When I got up and out of bed I was done mentally and emotionally and asked my wife if she had heard heavy and loud noises from me. Happily she said no and I still haven't figured out what keyed it and I went to a meeting where there were others I could speak to and listen. The solution became and still is to "turn the event over to my HP" and keep mindful of what that could bring to me. I don't know what caused this mental/emotional insanity and if and when I find out I will bring it here. (((hugs)))
