The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
Today's author talks about how to tame racing thoughts, and compares it to a horse racing out of control and not obeying the rider's commands. For the horse, repeating the same command louder and louder does not work. The author learned to stop the horse, get his attention, and start again.
How can we stop our troubling thoughts so we can start again? The author suggests deep breathing, looking at our surroundings, and replacing negative thoughts with something positive. Al-Anon slogans, Serenity Prayer, or just thinking about another topic are good replacements. Once we become more serene, we can look at the problem in a better way.
Today's reminder includes: "My racing thoughts may be making so much noise that I can't hear the guidance my inner voice is offering. Quieting the noise is a skill I can learn with practice. ... In Al-Anon I learn that practice makes progress, one minute, one thought at a time."
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I have definitely found slogans and Serenity Prayer to be proven methods to redirect my mind. My mind is extremely chatty, and it can get stuck on a topic. Just today I've been using How Important Is It, Live and Let Live, and -- yes, the Serenity Prayer to help me get back into my own lane with what I am in charge of -- my own thoughts and reactions. And giving my loved ones into the care of their own higher powers.
When we say the Serenity Prayer at the beginning of a meeting, I immediately begin to feel calm and hopeful. I am finding that I can recreate that feeling outside of the meeting as well. MIP friends, what tools do you use to quiet the mind?
Racing thoughts certainly were a part of my life with an active alcoholic. I'd always had a pretty chatty inner voice, and living with the disease made that chatty inner voice diseased as well. The quiet at Al-Anon meetings helped me remember to sit and listen. (My meetings have always been very small, so silence is a pretty common part of meetings.) This, the readings, and stepwork helped me remember that I'd been striving for a quieter inner voice through meditation, and I went back to that practice. Today, I find my inner voice to be quite quiet. I stay present in the moment, and move to writing or speaking to a trusted friend when I need to process something. Quieting my racing thoughts for me takes discipline, and noticing that thoughts are racing is a great first step for me, because then I can tell myself to stop and focus on something else. One surprising advantage I've noticed is that by quieting my racing thoughts, I've been able to stay more present. I spend less time worrying about what ifs and deal with the whats happening right now. This has made boundaries much easier to set and enforce, and it's been much easier to enjoy time away from my AW without feeling guilty. I'm so grateful for the gifts of the program!
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Skorpi
If you are depressed, you are living in the past. If you are anxious, you are living in the future. If you are at peace, you are living in the present. - Lao Tzu
Thank you, Freetime for your service, and to Betty and Skorpi for your shares on this topic.
I really identify with Skorpi's share. My racing thoughts were all about what to do "IF," and how to mitigate or even circumvent the negative consequences of my loved one's addictive behaviors. I was a very busy person.
"Was" being the operative word! My program works for me b/c it has taught me how to quiet the racing thoughts. How? First, by living this moment only. That was key. Second, by understanding that my needs are important, and then what my needs were... what I needed to have peace and security in my life. I never really understood that all my racing thoughts, fears, controlling issues were down to not feeling secure. Being married to someone addicted was triggering all of these feelings... deep within me. I never really gave sincere credence to my needs of security.
Now that I am removed from that environment, I still work on my learned behavior of 'racing thoughts.' Because they do creep in: for my aging parents, my son who is newly on his own, work issues. Sometimes I catch myself reacting to my Ex as well. So today I make sure to check-in on this site at least once a day, meet with my sponsor when needed, make a F2F.
One of the best things I employ is correct breathing. I watched a TedTalk on How Breathing Can Change Your Life (or something like that) last year. I could relate, and began implementing what the speaker recommended. The change in me was immediate! So now I make sure to "check-in" with myself in this manner. No more shallow breathing for me! The breathing reminds me of the 'Practice the Pause.'
Enjoy this Friday... make it your own!
&
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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Thanks FT for your service and all above shares. I hope I can be like Betty eventually and have no more racing thoughts. But for now, I am grateful I have learned to calm them using the tools folks shared above. Deep breaths are a huge help followed by the Serenity Prayer and slogans. The racing thoughts no longer rule my mind. I'm in charge now! Lyne
A trick my sponsor and I learned was slowing down the serenity prayer as we say it because we go to so many meetings and say the prayer so many times that after a while we're just saying it and not listening to what we're saying. Sometimes we even do what we call the Serenity prayer with manners. We begin with Dear God, please.....grant me the serenity, etc. It calms my racing thoughts which, even after two decades I can still get. Thanks, freetime, for your service.
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Not all my days are priceless, but none of them are worthless, anymore.
Our mum loved horse and ponies- so the lesson rang true for me. She had the ambition to be a horse trainer and breaker... but learned as she went.... Her first efforts and trials meant that we had ponies with no brakes or steering. They would bolt and shy, in other words. No-one would do this with a vehicle- having to run up a steep hill to slow the darned thing down!
I see the need for groups to have a solid structure. To provide an anchor for people. And it is up to us, the individual members to provide the content. And, of course, we are all at different stages of growth. A strength.
Like you, Bernie, there are moments where the content of the message- hits home; sinks in.
I must have reached this point- since I recognised this!
Thanks... ...
-- Edited by DavidG on Saturday 2nd of November 2019 03:43:00 PM
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Thanks Freetime- for the daily reading.
Thanks...