The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
I seem to have posted my update on a Business Board. Some gifted person please fix?
Update:
I have now been officially diagnosed. The disease is "in situ." I was pleased to hear that--less complicated, somehow and good prognosis. However, the remedies offered seemed a tad draconian, either way. So I have a whole lot of learning to do.
And I am very, very blessed.
And I thank you all for the love and support.
Temple
__________________
It's easy to be graceful until someone steals your cornbread. --Gray Charles
I am so sorry to hear this news.
I am not sure if you are aware teaching hospitals have a program called the tumor board. Whatever the in situ.is there is a tumor board for it
You can go there with your medical records. x Ray's and slides
They have a radiologist, oncologist and a whole team there. They will lay out the options for whatever your diagnosis is. That is the diagnosis. STAGE (Whatever the stage is) and the Type.
Those boards are educational but they offer whatever treatment options there are
I would highly recommend looking into these #boards# because they will give you the big picture. That is the state of the art picture
Maresie
((((Temple)))) adding you to our prayer group. Just got info at this mornings meeting that a long time program sister is loosing her vision. All I have are prayers and hugs. ((((hugs))))
((((((((((((((((((((((((((Temple)))))))))))))))))))))))))))) Sounds like the tumour is in original place..not moved, not appearing to be moving....its the best possible scenario for cancer, if you can say anything is good about it....maybe they can just remove and a bit of radiation....I like what Maresie says...as to remedies, I think I would get more than just one opinion/option......soooo sorry that it is there at all.....PLEASE keep us updated....You have LOADS of folks here who really care about you...............sending you love and peace
Thank you all. One's friends become even more precious in a crunch.
Well, Surprise, Surprise! I had the full report, but was on here most of the rest of yesterday letting people know.
So this morning I spoke with the scheduling nurse, who is a survivor. And she had actually read it all and the larger one has some invasive cells.
So--I suddenly became a lot more open to choice one. Surgery. But I was still in a quandary--and thank you Maresie for the information about the boards. And the nurse told me she can get me in with her surgeon even before the next round of biopsies is scheduled on Tuesday. That was suggested if I did not choose surgery. And I will see her tomorrow. The nurse says I will have a clearer picture of what is my choice, and probably a plan, after I see her.
I'll see a highly regarded oncologist in eary December, . or before if there's an opening.
I feel as if a stone has rolled off me. Prayers can be answered and not always the way we thought. I feel better. I will be okay.
Love you all,
Temple
__________________
It's easy to be graceful until someone steals your cornbread. --Gray Charles
(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((Temple)))))))))))))))))))))))))))))))) Sending you hugs and healing love....and the fur kids send their love........xoxo
(((((Temple))))
Sending my love, support and prayers.
Mostly I am praying that you are able to see the oncologist sooner than Dec. (that time frame is ridiculous, but I digress).
Daily blessings coming your way!
&
__________________
"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
The nurse said Dec. 3 is not a problem. I think we are fairly early on. The "big" one is 1.4 mm, the other one is .7 and the three I may get biopsied next Tuesday are .6. I think they are all pretty much BB sized. And only the big one is ornery, supposedly.
I can't figure out why I am so tired and have so little energy. I had less after the first tests, and less than that after the biopsies. Please may there not be anything brewing anyplace else. I don't think there is. I am losing weight, but it is deliberate. Hubs, who is Mr. Energizer Bunny, was washed out this morning, 3rd day after his minor surgery.. So I called his Dr.'s nurse and she said he can stop taking the antibiotic. I'm going to order the mitochondria booster that I had before--seemed to work better than the present one--made all the difference when I took it before. The theory is that mitochondria "present" as being a lot like bacteria--may have been at some point and then migrated into the cells--and that antibiotics attack them Which explains him but not me.
Blessings!
__________________
It's easy to be graceful until someone steals your cornbread. --Gray Charles
I have had a few cancer scares and they are formidable. As a child I.was extremely sick.abd hosputsluzec. I have had a number of life threatening illnesses. But the word cancer is a real formidable one
Rather than the size if your tumor the information you want is the type of cancer, the stafe a n.v d the type. Those reports would be on the biopsy
I certainly appreciate options. When I.was a child I had to ta kg e fierce drugs for years. There were massive side effects. Then for a really long time I had relapses. I have been realise free for while. (Years).
It sounds like you have a good ally in the Nurse you speak of.
Going to get a biopsy is exhausting.
Dealing with a diagnosis like that is exhausting
We will e your support along the way.
Be really kind and generous to yourself.
Give yourself a lot of room. These days I am all about pacing
In the.bext few weeks I have to go get a tooth pulled. I know I need time to rest and recuperate afterwards. So do you.
If possible take a notebook with you to the doctor's office. Write down key words so you can look them up afterwards
((()))))
Maresie
I am so sorry you have been so very sick so often. It is wonderful that you are better now.
Well--a major uptick--the surgeon talked with me for awhile and then did an ultrasound and said she can take care of this with lumpectomies. And get the three little guys at the same time. And I won't be needing the "ultrasound in the morning, break, then maybe more than 3 biopsies in the afternoon."
And she would not recommend radiation for me. The options the doctor and radiologist had outlined were--drastic surgery x 2 or more biopsies and antihormone pills and radiation .
I asked what about this oncologist I'm going to be seeing in Dec--maybe sooner? And she said she'll keep him informed--he'll be following me later.
I am so relieved. She could have done the surgery Monday, but our sainted financial guru is flying in from Kentucky to visit us for a few hours on Thursday, and I have things to do before he comes. I'll find out tomorrow if I can be scheduled for next Friday. I hope to be pretty much recuperated before hubs sees a gastroenterologist the 22nd.
So it is as if I got the second opinion before I heard the first, for real. I'll still be taking the pill, and I'm sure I will be followed closely. And Oh! how I love me a conservative doctor.
So, again--thanks ever so much for all of the love and support and good advice. I am going to be okay For now. And hopefully forever. I'm so glad I haven't gotten totally strung out about all this. There's something about having a surprising number of people praying for me and sending me good thoughts. I've felt all along that it is going to be okay. Whatever happens. And things keep falling into place.
Now I'm taking the remedies that usually work to end a cold. So I think I will listen to Maresie and rest today.
And--Thank you! All of you. You are the best.
Loves! Temple
-- Edited by Temple on Thursday 31st of October 2019 10:12:09 PM
-- Edited by Temple on Friday 1st of November 2019 09:23:58 AM
__________________
It's easy to be graceful until someone steals your cornbread. --Gray Charles
Good news!
I am glad to hear of it, and glad that you are going to give yourself some TLC today.
&
__________________
"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Temple....I am sending love, prayers and support. I was diagnosed with Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma going on 3 years ago. While stable and in remission at this point.....I do understand the waiting for biopsies, the options and treatments and the way we feel with a "diagnosis." Be gentle with yourself and make sure to take care of you as much and often as possible. Thank you for sharing with us.....and again.....sending you hugs, love and support!
Surgery is a major undertaking. Make a lot of space for yourself. I am on blood pressure medication. Having high blood pressure is no joke.
I do not.consuder myself better I have a whole host of problems with.my.health. I am.hardly healthy
But I know for certain that stress is a huge factor in recovery. From physical illness.
There are certain times I retreat into myself and focus sely on me
I have to move temporarily for three weeks in two months. Major disruption
One factor why I got seriously I'll x 2 when I.was with the ex A was stress.
So with the retreat into myself out come the al anon tools. I stop arguing.
I still have limits. I let the arguing go
I.focus on the goal get through the move
Stress is a huge factor in blood pressure
The other thing is now I have to work more so to pace myself
One of the doctors I saw as a child was huge on rest. Rest for me means retreat.
Al anon has some great tools to bring out when the going gets tough
Maresie
I'm about to get to the end of the new news for awhile. The surgery won't be before Nov 18. And that's fine. I need to get the cold gone and maybe get somebody to help me next week and then the visit--which is good stress, but some anyway. And then I can get myself fluffed up for whenever this thing happens. This meshes well with the oncologist Dec. 3.
Maresie--I got an object lesson in BP and stress. Mine is usually 105/60something in a Dr's office. Yesterday I got screamed at on the way there and it was 132/79,
I n. And I was trembling. Hadn't let it get to my mind that much--just tucked it away for information, but the body knows. I am sorry you are still having so many health problems You have learned a lot about taking care of yourself.
Blessings to everyone. I should be hanging off of here for a couple of weeks, new information-wise. I feel real peace. I have great confidence in the surgeon, Surgery is always a certain amount of risk, but I won't be hospitalized, and will rest again when it is over.
Can't tell you how much you all mean to me. .
Temple
__________________
It's easy to be graceful until someone steals your cornbread. --Gray Charles
One thing I.have done when I have been sick in the hospital us to restrict the number of visitors. My.former landlord showed up the last time I was in the hospital. He ten proceeded to tell me first twenty minutes how great he was
For once in my life when I am sick in the hospital I said I dont feel well you have to go.
I put up with an amazing amount of chaos from my job when I was in the hospital too.
Now I have limits. Limits on jobs (although one of my jobs called me at 6:00 am today)
Limits on friends
When you are in the hospital it is a good time to set limits. Recuperating from surgery is no joke
When I was a teenager at one time I told my mother not to come to visit. My mother was also one to come tell me how great she was to come visit
It has taken me decades since then to set limits with people.
I no longer have to rely so much on others because I am more self sufficient these days. Nevertheless I have to guard my boundaries hard. This upcoming move is a stressors but I am.more prepares for this than other stressors
Maresie
I'll be coming home afterwards--won't be hospitalized.
My few friends here are used to not visiting me--for so many months after the last hospitalization I was super sensitized to smells and did not encourage
having company. Almost everyone uses dryer sheets, for example. Even the "no fragrance" ones drive me wild.
Blessings!
__________________
It's easy to be graceful until someone steals your cornbread. --Gray Charles
Great that you know what your limits are
Mine are tested everyday
Move is scheduled for January 23rd
On a timeline between now and then.
Everything else is on hold
Maresie
Temple - sending you tons of (((hugs))), prayers and positive energy....you work a great program and have the tools you need to go one day at a time!
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
Maresie, I'll be thinking of you--in limbo. That's ghastly. I pray that you and Rosie and Tired Tonight will all have your employment issues solved.
IAH--If I do, it's pretty much by osmosis. I'm what Barbara Sher calls a "sampler." I try everything I hear about. But have been reading on this board consistently for 15 years? I am amazed at those of you who have stuck with it and have really done the work and share so generously with what worked for you.
Hugs!
Temple
__________________
It's easy to be graceful until someone steals your cornbread. --Gray Charles
In my experience, when one is lost -- the one being us, so I am not speaking about the alcoholic or addict as that is an entirely different, very different discussion -- the only way to "find your way" back (and back is a relative term)...is to focus on YOU. Finding your way back has ZERO to do with the alcoholic/addict. It doesn't matter what he or she is doing, saying, etc. It is about YOU. Period.
One of the "gut checks" I've so often heard about is...my life is great, my qualifier is clean and sober...but if they relapsed, would I be "OK" (OK meaning would I be OK, healthy, mindset, perspective, etc.). Yes, I could be sad, but would I immediately become "consumed" with my qualifier? Would I be able to stay on and keep my side of the street clean...or would I immediately start looking at, wandering over to, trying to clean, and would I be focused on their side of the street.
Far too many people in alanon don't understand that...while AA's 12 steps are exactly the same as our 12 steps here in alanon...they are two completely different programs. The alanon literature speaks to this and says that our program, our recovery, comes from a different perspective and has a different orientation. Our 12 steps are a framework for our recovery. They mean something different, they have a different meaning, a different motivation. In the opening of many alanon meetings I attend, they even request that if you are a member of another fellowship and/or 12 step program...to please remain and make that fact anonymous...and that we try to keep the focus on US, and our program and recovery has a different orientation.
If WE want to get better...WE should focus on the person we can control...US...and we should focus on who we can make better...US.
__________________
Bo
Keep coming back...
God, grant me the serenity...to accept the PEOPLE I cannot change...the courage to change the ONE I can...and the wisdom to know it's ME...
Temple - I am also a sampler in many ways. Once I realized how valuable an open mind was (to life, living and recovery), I really, really focused on listening to what others suggest/share. There are many things I've tried and discarded over the years and many things I've tried and adopted as well. I have always really loved that we each get to do recovery in the manner that works for us! It is through this 'trial and error' that I have embraced that change is good! (((Hugs)))
__________________
Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging. Pause before assuming. Pause before accusing. Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret. ~~~~ Lori Deschene
My employment issue is better than it was. It might be cowardly but I just avoid the supervisor.
I am still a people pleaser.. Being around any alcoholic and not being a people pleaser means they black ball you. My family of origin did that. Life.is.not perfect.
With al.anon it gets easier much much easier.
Maresie
Bo--you are always so generous in your sharing. Actually what I meant was, I posted to the Business Board and couldn't find my way back there to delete it. And I may be lost, in addition to that. Feel more "found" every day however.
IAH--Ah--listening. I like listening on the board, especially.
Maresie--I don't think that s cowardly at all. Why put yourself in front of someone you pretty much know is going to be abusive? We learn, use, and discard coping skills as need be. You have come a long, long way. You are doing very well.
I so appreciate everyone who responds to me. It's very affirming.
We've just spent two afternoons with a very good and kind man. The sort that makes the world a better place just by showing up. To all the good and kind people on here--you have no idea the blessing you are to other people.
Hugs!
Temple
__________________
It's easy to be graceful until someone steals your cornbread. --Gray Charles
Your warm wishes mean so much to me
Thanks to al anon when I stumble it is a blip.rsther than a disaster
We all have challenges at this time of year
I push back these days when people try to punish me. I am no longer the perfect target for bullies
I am praying you make it through this holiday season with some relief .
I have ny own health issues I have to deal with. On one level it is phenomenal th p have a name for issues I have struggled with. On another level it is devastating to deal with them
Where do we get this idea from we will be healthy for ever?
My health issues started when I was 14. I survived those somehow despite my terrible attitude. I did it so badly because I knew no other way
Now being exposed to courageous. Vulnerable individuals like yourself I get to witness another way
One that is so much more gracious and compelling. Thank you for showing us how to manage such a terribly difficult time
Maresie
Bless you and thank you. I feel so lovingly and beautifully supported.
Maresie--
I am probably in better shape, all told, than you are. I just whine a lot. Seriously, the name of the disease is scary, but I think it was stumbled upon very early and the fact that nobody has even mentioned chemotherapy to me (probably because of my age) makes it a whole lot less scary. And we'll see what develops after the 4th. Even if I wind up having to have radiation, or drastic surgery, so be it. I still have all my lymph nodes, so I think I am in the blessed line.
It's wonderful what all the prayers and support have done for me--I feel very peaceful--even when I was told there's going to be more surgery--that's not so bad. I don't look as if I'm missing anything, and she's going back in to the same place. And only on one side. And I'll be more patient with the aftereffects this time around. My friend will care for me and she will understand when suddenly I feel as if I'm starving and don't have any energy.
Hubs can't remember the one time in his life his blood sugar got low. And I kept him well-nourished after his surgery, and he didn't have to find out.
He does what he can. And I'm hoping he doesn't get a scary diagnosis later this month. Well, I guess we'd take that as it comes and he has been being followed all along, so I don't think it would be terribly drastic. And he bounces back. So even if the thing that seems scarier than my being ill happens, we will get through it.
I hope your health turns around and soon. You are so young to have so many illnesses. I'm glad you are taking care of yourself emotionally now. You have come so far, and it can't be anything but good for your body, as well.
__________________
It's easy to be graceful until someone steals your cornbread. --Gray Charles