The material presented
here is not Al-Anon Conference Approved Literature. It is a method
to exchange
information, ideas, feelings, problems and solutions on a personal
level.
After a few weeks of separation from my wife I have decided it is time to get myself to some meetings.
My question is would I benefit from Al-anon meetings even though she is a cocaine and opioid abuser? Finding a nar-anon meeting is proving to be much more difficult than an Alanon meeting. It seems to me like addiction and the affect it has on family is the same weather it is alcohol or drugs.
Many folks in the meetings I attend have loved ones with drug abuse. I can see how the program is helping them. So yes, I believe it is a good idea to attend. We usually suggest trying 6 meetings, including different groups, to decide what works for you. Best wishes, there is a seat waiting for you in a meeting.
Certainly al al.anon will help. There are many similarities.
You can also real books
A beautiful boy is about a father dealing with his son's addiction. He goes to al anon
Eventually his life is not consumed with his son's addiction
There are also meetings in this forum daily
It takes time to find a good meeting. There is lots of literature out there that can help you
Maresie
I've found that a good portion of people who go to alanon meetings go because a loved one is in fact a drug addict. So, yes, alcohol and/or drugs. In my experience, nar-anon can be a little more of a "hard-core" program, more stern is a term I've heard as well.
In short. Go to as many face to face alanon meetings as you can. Go as often as you can.
__________________
Bo
Keep coming back...
God, grant me the serenity...to accept the PEOPLE I cannot change...the courage to change the ONE I can...and the wisdom to know it's ME...
I am chiming in b/c this relates directly to me. My then husband was a Meth user when I first found Recovery for myself. He was "high-functioning," had everything in life... in other words, not what someone thinks of when they envision an "addicted user." Because his DOC was meth, I began my journey in the rooms of Nar-Anon. After about 10 or so meetings, I had mentioned to a counselor at my spouse's first rehab center that I found them to be so devoid of Hope. It seemed that there were many wives who were there after many, many relapses. Instead of feeling better and uplifted, I would leave feeling worse than when I walked in.
I was told to try Al-Anon. "It is basically the same 12-Step program, and there seems to be more healing there."
So I did. I was hesitant at first, thinking I did not "belong." I found that going to "speaker" meetings helped me the most at first. From there, I found that there were more similarities than not, and that this 12-Step program was really about me... regardless of the DOC.
That was in 2010.
What I have learned since then, is that Addiction is Addiction. Period. Oh, you could argue about which DOC is "worse" or which could kill your SO faster, but many who become addicted to one substance easily transfer to another... even when they get help by being in a Program. Hence why I feel that it is just Addiction - a "brain disease" caused by substances that chemically alter the brain - the chemical is irrevelant. Once the brain becomes altered, it is a life-long disease the affected one must manage. IMHO.
I found out that the wise counselor was correct... in my case, the 12-Step programs are all basically the same premise - helping me to keep my focus on ME, and understanding what is within my scope of control (only me), and what I can and cannot live with.
So going to multiple, different type of meetings is key... not every meeting is great, nor life-changing. But when you click...oh what a relief to your soul!!
Wishing you peace and clarity of thought this weekend.
&
__________________
"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend
"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness." Mary Oliver
Yes, absolutely. Addiction is addiction is addiction. Al-Anon will help, regardless if your A's drug of choice is booze, hard drugs, sex, gambling, etc.... the program works, and good for you in taking the step to get to meetings
T
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"He is either gonna drink, or he won't.... what are YOU gonna do?"
"What you think of me is none of my business"
"If you knew the answer to what you are worrying about, would it REALLY change anything?"
I had a look to see if there were any Naranon meetings in NZ. There is one- in our capital city. Not sure if Alanon will accept family of addicts around here...
It does not apply to me- I but in younger generations there are multiple sources of addiction...
My view is- take in 6 meetings to see if Alanon is for you. Some of us have multiple qualifiers. My late nephew died of a drug overdose.
A good round-up of a topic...
I don't think we should lose sight of our core purpose and role- but common sense must prevail. Tradition 4.
Here is my take: everyone is welcome at AlAnon meetings. We don't need to identify who is our addict or alcoholic. Go to meetings. You will find the ones that "fit" you. You will hear or say something that resonates within you.
The principles will come to matter more than which one has free parking, which time is more convenient, etc.
All the best as you find your home meeting.
& 
I had a look to see if there were any Naranon meetings in NZ. There is one- in our capital city. Not sure if Alanon will accept family of addicts around here...