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Post Info TOPIC: C2C, 10/14


~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 2725
Date:
C2C, 10/14


The reading for Monday, 10/14, is a share about faulty thinking and how step 10 can help.  The author assumes they know how everything should be done, that other people do not recognize this great gift, that ignoring their feelings is practical, and that there is no reason to turn to HP.  Wrong!  The author then says they are grateful for the reminder step 10 gives about continuing to take personal inventory, and making corrections especially when one repeats the same mistakes.

Reminder:  It is no easy task to change the thinking of a lifetime, even when I m sure that I want to change.  The Tenth Step allows me to be aware of sliding back into faulty thinking.  I dont have to abuse myself when it happensthat doesnt help at all.  By promptly admitting when Im wrong, I am doing what I can to change.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

The reminder in this reading really caught my eye.  Yes, I can slip back into faulty thinking.  Its really easy after living with an alcoholic/dry drunk for many years.  And I try really hard not to beat myself up when that happens.  Step 10 is training for lifesee my faults, try to change, and make amends wherever possible.  Good stuff, Lyne



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Lyne



Senior Member

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Posts: 139
Date:

Thanks for your service Lyne. Im struggling with this one. My AH is gone now like so many times before. He goes for days and days sometimes weeks. My boundary is, he cannot be here and drink. There is always a negotiation (back to rehab, meetings, right people/places/things) about him doing the right thing this time and hes back...until he does it again. I always think its right to be hopeful, let him do recovery his way, live and let live, be a supportive wife etc. This time I think all of those things have been my faulty thinking. I need to get off the carrousel. My allowing him back and buying the whole story is just me giving away my serenity. Faulty thinking is such a hard one. Its so hard to see your thoughts as faulty when you feel you are being so logical and conversely to believe you are finally right when your thoughts make you feel so unsure.

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~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 2405
Date:

Thank you Lyne...Oh yea, Step 10!! one of my favorites...my "daily report" card i discuss with my inner child and me as the , hopefully loving and humble, higher parent, and yes, I go through the "what I did well" "what I did bad on" and no more beating me up, just accept...take responsibility, keep up the positive self talk and make amends where appropriate and the BEST amend is to continue working on me and practicing better behavior...Thank you for your service...

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Rose, a work in progress!!!

KEEP IT SIMPLE_EASY DOES IT_KEEP THE FOCUS ON ME



~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 2795
Date:

Thank you Lyne for your service.

After more than 2 years on this "journey" (and a couple year stint after my AH's first rehab, 9 yrs. ago), I have yet to reach Step 10, "officially". But yes, I like the idea of the constant checking-in of your new values and behaviors. Having "worked" Step 4 a few times already, I realized and accepted that I too, felt like I knew the best way just about everything should be handled... it was weird and hard to learn that someone who really tries to be so humble, could deep down have a big ego! LOL!

So even though I haven't moved through Step 10 officially, I "check-in" with myself at the end of each day, or as needed. It can be so easy to slip back into old behaviors when you are still dealing with an addicted loved one! Step 10 keeps me accountable to only me and my HP... good, honest, stuff!

Happy Monday all! I am bound and determined to create the work week that I want! Attitude is everything! LOL!

&

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"The wolf that thrives, is the one you feed." - Cherokee legend

"Hello, sun in my face. Hello you who made the morning and spread it over the fields... Watch, now, how I start the day in happiness, in kindness."  Mary Oliver

 

 



~*Service Worker*~

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Posts: 11569
Date:

Thank you Lyne for your service! My Monday went way different than planned - and that's exactly how my life works! I am grateful for the daily and the ESH/shares here. As one who really, really does better with structure, practice and consistency, I actually enjoy taking some time at the end of my day to review the day. I like to see where I made better choices, where I have room for improvement and to review my interactions and how they went. I do often find that I have opportunities to do better and to make amends! What's been lovely in my recovery is that I truly prefer to surround myself with others who dislike chaos, crazy, controlling behavior....this sure makes it easier to respond in a healthy way and to make amends when necessary.

It is my interactions with those who resist change/recovery that I really need to practice that pause in my signature. I take the time to really consider what is vs. what I think and to respond accordingly. I love, love, love that I learned in recovery that many times, my best response today is no response at all or a neutral one. This really helps me keep my side of the street cleaner and helps me limit my regret each evening.

I hope everyone had a great Monday! We opted for an afternoon tee time yesterday and it was much, much slower! Really changed up my day - not bad, just different - exactly what I needed based on life now!!!

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Practice the PAUSE...Pause before judging.  Pause before assuming.  Pause before accusing.  Pause whenever you are about to react harshly and you will avoid doing and saying things you will later regret.  ~~~~  Lori Deschene

 

 

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